Fifty Shades of Revelation
by amberama
Summary: AU. Christian Grey is an out of control teenager known for angry outbursts and physical violence. Anastasia Steele is a quiet girl, undaunted by Christian's reputation. Christian is entranced by Ana in every way, but mostly because she touched him, and he didn't feel fear. A coming of age story between two teens with troubled pasts. Rated "M" for later chapters.
1. Chapter 1: Take No Prisoners

_Fifty Shades of Revelations_

Disclaimer: The "Fifty Shades" Trilogy is property of E.L. James. She created this wonderful world, and I am just borrowing the characters for the time being. No copyright infringement is intended; I am just an overly obsessed fan girl indulging in my writing fantasies.

-A/N- This is an AU of the "Fifty Shades" Trilogy. It will alternate between Christian's and Ana's POV. It takes place when Christian and Anastasia are in high school. Some of the character's backgrounds will change since they are in high school. In this story, Ana is only a year younger than Christian. Christian has not had an affair with Elena Lincoln, and is in his brawling/fighting stage. This story explores the developing relationship between Christian Grey, the troubled kid with a horrific past, and Anastasia Steele, the quiet girl struggling with a past of her own. The rating is "M," for mature audiences as there will be sexual situations in future chapters.

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Chapter 1: Take No Prisoners

Christian's POV

The crunch of the bones was not the most satisfying part of the experience; it was, indeed, the touch. Being able to touch another human being in any capacity was rare, and very frightening. I pounded my fists into his gut ruthlessly, longing for some understanding, some…_control. _And damned if this wasn't control; I was controlling the force with which I hit, landing precise blows in exactly where I wanted. And it felt good. The guttural release of all this…frustration and anger…was cathartic. _God, did I need this._ At some level, I knew that brawling this recklessly was a far cry from normality, but in the precious moments of human contact, it seemed normal enough to me.

The fight continued as my opponent punched and kicked his way into some semblance of defense. But I was brutal, and I took no prisoners. In my fury and frustration, I let it all out. My opponent never knew what hit him. I was a freight train on a runaway path. _Finally, I have found an outlet, a reprieve, a solace._

The principal, Mr. Karakas, and the history teacher, Mr. Stagon, broke up the fight as quickly as they could. Mr. Stagon was restraining me, and his touch felt foreign. I felt violated and immediately shook him off.

"Damn it, Christian! Why are you fighting again?" Mr. Stagon screamed at me. His grip on me was tenuous to begin with, and my stress at him touching me was apparent. "You have to stop this, or else you'll be expelled. Why don't you understand that?"

I was only listening haphazardly; my lip was throbbing from where my opponent punched me. I quickly licked my chapped lips and tasted the copper of blood. The metallic taste lingered on my tongue, a stark reminder or the damage I had inflicted. My fists were raw with new marks as well as still-healing previous ones. This was my third fight in a month. And damn if it didn't make me feel a semblance of humanity.

I was reveling in the adrenaline coursing through my veins. I had touched someone, and that person touched me. Though it was in complete violence, it still happened. _Maybe human contact is possible—somehow, someway, maybe it is._ The thought of touch made the horrible memories come back. Unbidden, the smell of cheap bourbon and Camel cigarettes came to mind, triggering a convulsive reaction. _Come here you little shit_ played in my mind. The memory triggered the physical pain to resurface. My chest began to ache at the thought…NO! I mentally snapped myself out of my reverie. Not again. It's done. It's over.

I longed for human contact, but in my clearest moments, the memories of what _he_ did to me—what _she _let him do to me—haunt me, plaguing my very existence. In the throes of violence and physical altercation, it is only instinct is pushing me on, not the clarity of rational mind. And that's when I can finally feel some resemblance of normality.

"Christian Grey, my office NOW!" Mr. Karakas bellowed at me angrily. Jesus Christ, I was tired of this same thing. I trudged to his office and took a seat by his door. I waited sullenly, knowing the same tried tune that played out every time. _"I should expel you but your parents are dear friends…" "Anger management is what you need to control these outrageous spells of fighting…" "Do you know how your peers view you Christian? You scare the living daylights out of them!" _I've heard it all, and twice over. I could write a fucking book entitled "Christian Grey Fucks up Again" with all the responses I've heard.

Mr. Karakas was ushering my opponent, Johnny Nobody, to the nurse's office. Son of a bitch had it coming. He talked shit on me, and I busted him up over it. It's the same story, different day. Some asshole thinks he can challenge me, talk shit, and walk away without a black eye. No fucking way. I don't take anyone's shit. _"…you scare the living daylights out of them!" _Mr. Karakas' words pop into my head, uninvited of course. So what? Who needs friends? They were all pretentious fucks anyway. Worried about which slut the quarterback is fucking this week, which whore is pregnant, who got fucking wasted at the big party over the weekend, talking shit behind each other's back. If that was friendship, then fuck it all. I don't need it, and sure as hell don't want it. I sat angrily back trying to wipe the blood from my bleeding lip.

"Here, you dropped this," I heard a sweet, angelic voice sing at me. I looked up into the pale blue eyes of a stranger. I was suddenly taken aback by this unfamiliar face. Her face was flawless; beautiful, too large eyes I could lose myself in, perfectly full lips. She was biting on her bottom lip. _Fuck…_that simple action did something to me. Deep in my core, I felt something I couldn't name, but fuck did it feel good.

"T-thanks…" I stammered. She was handing me my book bag. I must have dropped it before the fight. As she put the strap of my bag in my hand, we briefly touched. Electric; there's no other way to describe it. A current passed from her hand to mine, shocking the living hell out of me. _What the fuck was that._ Even as slight as it was, I don't remember having such direct contact with a stranger.

She grabs a white tissue from her purse and presses it carefully against my lip. "You took quite a hit there. But I'm sure he's feeling much worse. Just hold this on your lip till the bleeding slows," she said. With a sweet, sincere smile, she slowly lowered her hand and walked away. I was stunned.

"GREY! GET IN MY OFFICE, NOW!" Mr. Karakas' voice booms over me, snapping me out of my stupor. I roll my eyes, collect my returned book bag, and go into the principal's office.

"Grey, that's it. You're done. One more fight, and it's all done. I will expel you, and it won't matter who you're parents are. I'm taking so much heat for not throwing you out months ago. This is your third school in two years Christian. Jesus, why do you fight? I know you're a good kid. But no one else is going to see that if you are all flying fists and bloody noses…" Mr. Karakas drones on and on, but I am not listening. My mind is still reeling from those haunting, powder blue eyes. She is so beautiful, so unafraid; just sweet sincerity reaching out to the school fuck-up. She was beautiful, and I had no damned idea who she was.

"…so this is your last warning, got it?" Mr. Karakas finally finished up. I nod quickly and set out to find Mia. My younger sister would know who that stranger was…

"Christian, not so fast, you are suspended for a week! You're going home, NOW," Mr. Karakas yelled. He ushered me out where my mother was waiting. Teary-eyed and sniffles, she was there to pick me up.

"Christian, honey, not this again son. I don't understand this…" my mother murmured. I was suddenly very upset for hurting my mom. She was the light of my life, my guardian angel in white; she saved me from the crack whore. Upsetting her was the last thing I ever wanted to do. But how could I explain the deeper reason for fighting? There is so much fear at my mother touching me, and I don't know how to even begin to vocalize it. So I never do. She knows I don't like being touched, maybe understands why, but it still hurts her; I know it does.

"I'm sorry mom. I promise, I'll try not to fight again…" I mutter apologetically. It was the same bullshit line I threw out last time, but I still felt like an asshole.

As we get into the car, a heavy, looming silence slowly overtakes the atmosphere, and the tension between my mother and I is palpable. We drive back to my house; the eerie silence is a backseat passenger. As soon as we get home, I run up to my room. I'm pissed and brooding, but the fault is my own. I am so frustrated at all these things I don't understand, and I don't know how to fix it. I want to touch and be touched, but damn it all to hell if it doesn't scare the living fuck out of me to even attempt it. My mind goes back to the girl with the oceanic eyes. When we touched, it was an electric current singing in my veins. Was it because it was unexpected, therefore I did not fear it? Or was it _her_?

The hours passed as I silently contemplate, and I hear my sister enter the house. "Christian! How could you beat up Sean Duggan? He was going to ask me to homecoming! Now he won't even look at me because of YOU!" Mia screamed at the top of her lungs.

"Shit," I cursed to myself. If she's pissed, I won't be able to get info on the mystery girl. I walked downstairs with my hands held up in defeat. "I'm sorry Mia. I didn't know you were interested in him like that. He was running his mouth, so I shut it for him."

"Ooohh, Christian Grey! I swear I could just throttle you sometimes! Seriously, he was such a hunkster!" Mia cried despondently, the thought of her lover boy evaporating in front of her.

I sighed. "Mia, you know everyone at school. I need to know, who is the new girl? She's got brown hair, blue eyes—" Mia cut me off before I can even finish. Apparently, Sean what's-his-face was now an afterthought.

"Oh! Her name is Anastasia Steele. She moved from Georgia to Seattle last week with her mom and step-dad. Oh, she's so nice! She's in the eleventh grade with me. And we have economics, calculus, and English together. She's super quiet, and apparently likes to read. She's been hiding in the library all week," Mia spouted out without taking a breath. Sweet Lord could my sister talk.

_Anastasia…_That name rolled off my tongue, and sent shivers down my spine. _It is such an enchanting name for an enchanting girl._ She was only a grade below me, but she seemed so much older. She was sweet to me. Perhaps she didn't know my reputation around school yet. My mood darkened considerably. Damn it, if she found out, she would probably run for the hills. No one wanted to associate with me; I was the quiet freak with angry outbursts and tenacity for physical violence. But she did seek me out to give me back my book bag. Does that mean anything, or was she just being nice to me?

I've always looked at girls as unattainable because of my resistance to touch. What girl would want to be near a freak that was scared to be touched? I was a bag of hormones, and each girl I saw stirred up my testosterone and made me crazy, but my fear of touch always kept me at bay. Talk about sexually frustrated. I am a walking contradiction; I longed to be touched and intimate with a girl, but I am too damn afraid to let her near me. It's not just sex, although that seems to occupy my mind a hell of a lot. It's also about connection, feeling like I belong, feeling like I could possibly be normal. But every thought of someone touching me brings up those tormented demons I kept locked away in my head appear and remind me of what touch was before to me.

Regardless, I need to get find out more about Anastasia, and why her touch didn't hurt me, but rather it enticed me in a quite electrifying way. I planned on seeking her out when my suspension was up. The next week would be long and torturous, but I had visions of blue to get me through it.


	2. Chapter 2: A Lesson Learned in Time

Disclaimer: I do not, nor will ever, own the marvelous "Fifty Shades of Grey" trilogy. The wonderful E.L. James created this captivating world, and I am merely putting my own spin on it for the time being. No copyright infringement is intended.

-A/N- Thank you so, so much for all the reviews! I will update as much as I can. I am a full-time grad student working two jobs. Thankfully one of my jobs is not as demanding, and I have time to write! Again, please remember this will not follow the books 100% because it is AU. Some of the characters will be portrayed differently to fit the needs of the story. Oh, and thanks again for the reviews. I really love them, so please keep them coming!

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Chapter 2: A Lesson Learned in Time

Christian's POV

I was back at Seattle High with a renewed vigor. I had thought incessantly about Anastasia Steele, the kind hearted girl who touched me and did not render me a quivering, cowering mess. I asked Mia her schedule, and she filled me in as much as she could.

"Are you interested in her Christian?" Mia repeatedly nagged me.

"No, just curious," I said smoothly, lying through my teeth. I was more than interested; I was obsessed. Never in my life did I remember having someone touch me without me reverting back to the fear and pain of my early years. I was awakened by the entity known as Anastasia Steele, and I could not figure out why.

"Well, Ethan Kavanagh is interested in her too. His sister, Kate, has already befriended Anastasia. So he already has a head start!" Mia goaded me. I snapped out of my Anastasia-rampant thoughts and looked warily at her.

"How 'interested' is Ethan?" I snapped. Ethan Kavanagh was All-American. He was the best pitcher in baseball, goalie in soccer, and middle tackle in football. His grades were stellar considering his overwhelming athletic schedule, and he had girls falling off him like flies. He was also a huge womanizer with the current record for bedding the most girls. _Shit, that arrogant fuck cannot be interested. He'd ruin her innocence and kindness._

"Oh very interested dear brother, but you forget who your charming, loving, and amazing sister is. I happen to know where she is right now, and that she is in fact alone," Mia smirked at me.

"Where the fuck is she then?" I practically yell.

"In the library, of course," Mia smirked at me. I didn't give Mia any more time to talk before I took off like a bottle rocket. I aimed straight for the library, and thankfully my feet knew the path because my mind is clouded with images of those haunting blue eyes. Shit, I hope she's alone. I need to just see her for some unknown reason.

I quietly entered the library through the back door, and I felt like an incognito spy. I feel stealthy for a whole moment before the ridiculousness of my actions stagger heavily on me. I almost laughed at the absurdity; I was sneaking to just get a glimpse of a girl who was nice to me. Damn, there was something fucked up with me. One person is nice to me, and I go all fucking psycho-stalker on her. _She's going to think I'm a fucking weirdo and never speak to me again._

I saw her and my world stops. _Shit, just as beautiful as I remember._ She's reading some thick book, her brow furrowed in concentration, and she's biting her fucking lip. My heart beats rapidly in my heaving chest. _What in the fucking hell is she doing to me?_ She turned the page, still concentrating as ever. I stand stock-still, staring at her like a fucking creeper. But in this moment, I don't care. She's beautiful, and is making me feel something more than just hormones.

Sex is the farthest thing from my mind, and I don't know why. She is making me feel…hopeful. It's a scary feeling, new and alien it its effects on me. I only felt like this when Grace, my mother (not the fucking crack whore), saved me, when I learned to play piano, and when Mia was brought home. It's strange, exhilarating, mesmerizing. She makes to turn the page again and looks up to meet my gazing eyes.

We stare at each other for what feels like an eternity. Her powder blue eyes bore into me curiously. A shy smile played at her lips. I can't move; I'm anchored in her blue stare. She makes no move to break the connection. Finally, calling all the courage I have in my fleeting strength, I manage to stumble over to her table. I stand awkwardly, waiting for an invitation or something to sit down. She cocks her head to the side, still smiling at me.

"Hi," she whispers softly. Her voice caresses me, quickly putting me at ease. Still I stand, and still she is quiet. I finally sit down, unsure of what else to do.

"Hello," I mutter back, unable to meet her gaze. _Fucking fuck…I can't even talk to her without sounding like a moron._ I take a deep, rattling breath as I turn back to her. She is looking at me curiously. I noted that she was reading "Tess of the d'Urberville" by Thomas Hardy. I am taken aback by the classic novel in her hands. Normally all girls read these days are "Twilight" and shit. She likes the classics. My appreciation for her rises more, which seems nearly impossible at this moment.

"Um—er," I stammered, trying in vain to collect my fleeting thoughts. _Damn it to fucking hell. _It shouldn't be this hard to talk to her. She had spoken to me with such an easy grace. I ran my hand through my unruly copper hair. She was staring at me still; her blue eyes searching my weary grey ones. She smiled again, and went back to reading. Just like that.

I was flabbergasted; here I was, making a fool out of myself, trying to talk to her, and she goes back to reading as if nothing happened. Her blue eyes sweep the pages, and my presence does not deter her. _Fucking say something, Grey. _So, we sit there for what seems to drag on for eons. No words exchanged, no sidelong glances—nothing happened in the time we were sitting together at the weathered table with mismatched chairs. The bell rings, beckoning students for the next class. Anastasia finally puts down the book, carefully marking her page. She slips the beaten book into her messenger bag and smiles at me again, not saying a word, giving nothing away. She finally meets my eyes, and once again smiles a shy smile. She reached over slowly, and touched my hand. She gave it a gentle squeeze, and once again—those electric flames dance within me. I was too mesmerized to be scared of the contact.

Her angelic voice breaks the silence, and she whispers "Goodbye Christian." She knows my name. _She knows my name!_ I rejoice in the glory of her touch, revel in beauty in her soft words, and bask in her soft yet overwhelming presence. Good God, what is happening to me? This is my second encounter with Anastasia, and I am being reduced to a quivering mass of nerves. Fucking fuck, I am utterly useless when it comes to girls.

She slowly gets up and collects her belongings. I take her in as a whole now, not just fragmented pieces of perfection. She is wearing her long, brown hair in an easy ponytail. Her pale face is full, naked from makeup save for a hint of lip gloss. She is wearing a long sleeve t-shirt underneath a Snow Patrol t-shirt. She tugs at the long sleeves nervously, but still smiles at me. She's wearing casual jeans and Chuck Taylors. She was absolutely stunning in her simplicity.

She was so unconventional from other girls in school. The girls I am used to seeing usually wore small skirts, tight jeans, low-cut tops. It wasn't that I didn't appreciate it, but with Anastasia, she was so…so different. Maybe she was a social outcast like me? I could only speculate. Or maybe sweet Anastasia marched to the beat of her own drum, unhindered by social trends and passing fads. She was her own person, and God did I envy her. She seemed like she knew exactly who she was. Maybe that was why she called to me on some deeper level I couldn't even begin to understand. Maybe I emulated the self-confidence she exuded.

Her quiet confidence was magnified to me. There I was, Christian "Fifty Shades of Fucked-upness" Grey who didn't know shit about confidence or how to present myself in anyway other than violence. She was a mystery to me, and I needed to solve it.

"Bye," was all I could mutter as I stared at her retreating form, appreciating her once again. She was all legs, small waist, and perfect tits—at least from what I could tell from her less-than-flattering clothes. They were baggy and loose, with too much left to the imagination. But damn did I imagine what she was hiding under those clothes. But again, the physical attraction was minute compared to the fact that she could innocuously touch me and I did not have an adverse reaction.

The encounter was playing in my head over and over. She was an advanced course, and I was a lowly student incapable of understanding the material. But in time, I hoped to soon learn all the lessons associated with Miss Steele.


	3. Chapter 3: Tell Me Your Secrets

Disclaimer: In no way, shape, or form does any of the "Fifty Shades" trilogy belong to me. All characters are owned by the wondrous E.L. James. Thank you for creating this glorious world and letting me play in it! No copyright infringement is intended.

-A/N- Goodness, the response has been glorious! Thank you so much for all the support whether you reviewed, made this story a favorite, or are following. I appreciate it more than these words can say! So, please keep reviewing! I will take any suggestions into consideration as well! Also, in this fic, Ana will have a bit of a dark side too as she struggles with her past. It will be revealed in later chapters, but just wanted to give fair warning! Both Ana and Christian will have some kind of troubled past. Now, on with the chapter!

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Chapter 3: Tell Me Your Secrets

Ana's POV

Those grey eyes have been on my mind, and quite frequently too. I knew that exact moment where he caught my attention; he was fighting the boy in the hall, ravaging and brutalizing him, but his face was off. His face reflected such clarity, such a serene calm despite the ferocity of the violence escalating at alarming speeds. I was entranced, and could not pull myself to look away. I knew that feeling; I lived for that feeling. Perfect clarity in moments surrounded by circumstances outside of one's control that was what I longed for. It was something I continually searched for.

Christian Grey was a lost soul too, pillaging the world for a way to survive. He was like me. My life made sense before it happened—_NO! Don't go there, not again, Ana. _I pull myself out of my memories, hugging my arms around myself. It was over and done, and I tried my hardest not to think of it. The things it did to my psyche were hard to come back from. I refused to think about it now. I remember the first contact between us. My body has chills as I recall the event.

_I saw him sitting there, forlorn—angry in deep thought. His confusion was spread across his face. His concentration was clouding his stormy grey eyes. The clarity was gone, replaced instead by the ever-present darkness. I felt that too. I knew that feeling all too well. _

_ I was only a few feet when Sean Duggan said something rude to Christian. I didn't hear the content of the statement, but I knew from Christian's immediate reaction it wasn't good. Christian threw his book bag, and unleashed a holy terror onto the kid. He punched, kicked, snarled—he went primeval. Yet, I knew that look. That look in the midst of the violence, there was his look of clarity, purpose, serenity. I felt his kindred spirit from afar, and I knew he was like me. _

_ The fight was broken up almost as quickly as it started. Christian and the other kid were carted off, presumably to the principal's office. Christian's book bag lay on the floor, discarded like an old plaything. I picked it up, an idea striking me. I made my way up the emptying hallway to look for him. _

_ Thankfully, I saw him sitting outside, alone. He was deep in thought, and I slowly approached him as not to startle him. I put on a small smile as I made to hand him his book bag. "Here, you dropped this," I said as I held out his book bag. I bit my bottom lip nervously, my old habit resurfacing. _

_ Startled grey eyes snapped up at me. He had a confounded look on his face as he assessed me. He seemed nervous, but truth be told, so was I. The energy between us was circling me, dizzying my senses. _

_ "T-thanks," he stuttered. He looked as I felt—nervous and unsure, but interested and intrigued. I handed him book bag, and my hand innocently grazed his. Whoa! There was a jolt in our touch. Electric made its way into my skin, slowly warming me at our contact. I saw his reaction—he felt it too. My head was light from the heady contact. Jeez, just a simple touch had me feeling this. It was innocent and accidental, but it felt right. That is the only way I could describe it—like it was meant to be. _

_ In my state of hyperawareness, I almost missed the fact that his lip was bleeding. Shoot, it looked pretty bad. I hurried to grab a tissue or napkin out of my bag, something that would at least stop the bleeding. "You took quite a hit there. But I'm sure he's feeling much worse. Just hold this on your lip till the bleeding slows," I said pressing the tissue on his split lip. I walked away after that, still spiraling in the surreal moment from when we touched. I had never felt a connection that powerful from a simple touch._

I smile at the brief interlude down memory lane. I had heard about Christian through the rampant rumors circulating the school. The grapevine at Seattle High was always abuzz with Mr. Grey gossip. Apparently, he was a hothead who flipped at the toss of a hat. He had been expelled from a few different schools previously, and ended up here at public school. Apparently his parents were of the affluent stock, and he had his choice of private schools, but his fighting got him expelled from the elite, so he was stuck here with the lowly sector of public school kids. His sister, Mia Grey, chose to switch to public school as not to leave her brother alienated. Christian and Mia had an older brother, Elliot I think, already enrolled in an Ivy League school such as Harvard or Princeton.

Mia was the crown jewel of Seattle High. There were a few wealthy kids here, but none quite so as the Greys. Mia was always on the up and up on fashion, gossip, and trends. There was nothing she didn't know first. I recalled, a little bitter, that her initial contact with me was to be in the know about the new kid, that Anastasia Steele—me. While her intentions were less than honorable at first, we soon became decent acquaintances having quite a few classes together.

I quietly tried to pump her for information on her brother, but I only got bits and pieces through the whirl of words that came from Miss Mia Grey. Kate Kavanagh was much more forthcoming with information.

I met Kate in the library while I was sizing up the literary contents. She tracked me down, interested in interviewing me for the Seattle High Times, the high school newspaper. I reluctantly gave in, not wanting to be in the spotlight. But Miss Kavanagh could be a persistent person. I recall our interview fondly. _The Kavanagh Inquisition _I called it.

_"Hey there, missy. Welcome to Seattle High! I am Katherine Kavanagh. But call me Kate…everyone does," I heard from behind me. I whipped around to see a statuesque strawberry blond staring at me. Her eyes poured over me curiously._

_ "Um, hi," I said rather awkwardly. I was in a state of mini-shock at this intrusion. I was simply attempting to survey the books. I tended to get irritated when someone interrupted my reading time._

_ "Now, Miss Steele, was it? Anastasia Steele? Please to make your acquaintance! Can I have a few minutes of your time for an interview?" Kate prompted professionally. Jeez, she seemed to be a bit pushy. Journalists, go figure!_

_ "Um, not really…" I started, but Kate effectively cut me off._

_ "As the editor of the Seattle High Times, it is my duty as a reporter to accurately report the news, and you Anastasia, are big news! The newest addition to the high tide of turning faces here at Seattle High!" Kate beamed. She spoke like an anchorwoman, and my interest piqued._

_ "Okay," I finally conceded. I didn't want to make enemies so soon anyway. We sat down to begin the interview. _

_ Kate asked me various questions about where I grew up, my family, my hobbies, my class schedule, and my plans after high school. Most of the questions were straightforward, but it was the question of family that made me stumble over my words. Kate was writing so furiously she did not notice the falter in my voice. I gave her the bare minimum. Some things were better left unsaid._

_ After she was putting her pad of paper away, I asked her about Christian. I had already had some information from Mia, but I was hungering for more. "Kate, you seem to have the scoop on everyone. Can you tell me more about Christian Grey?"_

_ Kate's face nearly falls. She regains her composure, leans in and whispers quite loudly and all too dramatically: "Christian Grey is a hot mess, Ana. I'm telling you. Word around is that he's been suspended from his elite private school because he's a brawler. He ended up here because it's the only place left that would accept him! He's dreamy as can be, but a hopeless case."_

I snap out of my momentary recollection, smiling. She was in depth with her questions, trying to fish out what juicy information she could. But alas, I am simply not that interesting. What this interview did was reveal we have a lot in common. We are both literary fanatics, and love reading classic books. She is more Jane Austen where I am more Thomas Hardy. Regardless, we became fast friends; she was my first real ally here at Seattle High.

Kate and I had several classes together, including English; Mia Grey was also in the class with us. Mia was infatuated with my newness, so she had sat right next to me, ignoring the teacher's behest for alphabetical order. Kate, jealous of Mia's attentions towards me, also sat next to me. I walked into English late, replaying my last encounter with Christian in the library.

_I had sensed his eyes on me with a prickle of my flesh. I looked up and saw him staring at me. My eyes took him in, awkward stance and all. I knew he wanted to say something, but I didn't want to force it out before he was ready. He had sat down, and couldn't really formulate words. He was so nervous, as was I. I couldn't really find the words either; I was still feeling him out. So we sat in silence as I poured over my book. I couldn't keep still anymore, I had to reach over and touch him—she if that connection was still there. I touched his hand slightly, and the feeling shot through me like a lightning bolt. "Goodbye Christian," I had said. _

I was blushing when I sat down. My heart fluttered, my breath abated. I was entranced by him, and I couldn't put my finger on a reason. The teacher, Mrs. Shooter, was droning on about sentence structure and grammatical use, but my senses were still tingling from Christian Grey.

I didn't do this. I didn't get all heartsy and lovey over boys, and I certainly didn't blush because of a simple touch! What was going on? Was it a crush, or something more? Maybe I was searching for someone to understand me? The last boyfriend I had was my freshman year, and it lasted all of five minutes because I was more interested in my white knights in my books than in real men. Real men had a tendency to hurt you, to make you think one thing and then all of sudden rip your world out from under you. Just like..._NO!_ I refused to think about that now. As much as I tried avoiding it, my mind tried wandering back to the bad times with _him. _I couldn't face it, and I wasn't prepared to process it. I sighed again, and my mind was reeling from the bleakness of my thoughts. I tried to concentrate on English, but it wasn't happening.

My mind fluttered back to Christian Grey. He was such a mystery to me. I was attracted to him for sure, who wouldn't be? He was devastatingly handsome, from his unruly, copper hair, sculpted lips, and piercing grey eyes, he was beautiful. But with his violent streak and social isolation, people were scared of him, girls in particular.

I recalled with particular distaste as I overheard one of the cheerleaders talk about how sexy Christian was, but psychotic. _Bitch._ He wasn't psychotic; he was lost in a meandering world, and I was all too familiar with that feeling. I was drawn to him, and it was magnetic. Reason and logic failed to explain it; it was an instinctual pull towards him. It seemed like he felt something similar, but I had no idea. I thought back to the library, and he was struggling with what to say. When I touched his hand, it spoke volumes for both of us—but I wasn't sure what it meant. Was it comfort? Was it something else? I had no idea.

Mia was glancing at me not-so-conspicuously, and she could hardly contain her mirth. I sighed because this could only mean the _Mia Grey Gossip Carousel. _She had news, and she was barely able to keep it to herself until the end bell. Mrs. Shooter carried on monotonously about proper grammar use in varying sentence structure, and finally the bell mercilessly sang us the end of the class. I was barely out of my seat before Mia pounced.

"Ana! Ana! Ana! Guess what?" Mia sang as she bounced excitedly as we joined the throng of faceless people scurrying to the next class.

"Yes, Mia?" I asked, not really interested. She knew gossip about everyone, and it was usually topics I could care less about.

"I can't really tell you," Mia whispered in a hushed tone. I rolled my eyes.

"Then don't tell me, Mia. I don't want you getting into trouble," I said going to my locker. I clicked my 24-12-14 combination with a bored automation.

"But I want to so bad!" Mia continued. "Maybe I can do charades, and you can guess?"

"That's okay Mia, really. I probably wouldn't care too much anyway," I said gently, not wanting to hurt her feelings.

"Please, Ana? You REALLY want to know this!" Mia insisted with a huge smile. She started waving her arms rapidly in nonsensical motions. I rolled my eyes once again, and started to exchange books for my next class. While Mia was still trying to get me to guess, I felt a heavy presence at my back. I look up into the bright blue eyes of a stranger.


	4. Chapter 4: Called Out in the Dark

Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with the "Fifty Shades" Trilogy; that right is reserved to the talented E.L. James and the publishing company. I am merely an overly obsessed fan indulging in a tad bit of role playing. I think Christian would approve!

-A/N- Holy sock money the response has been magnificent! Thank you all so much! I get the happy-gigglies when I see I have so many new reviews, favorites, and followers! I'm popping the chapters out as fast as I can! I have an idea of where this is going, but not sure how many chapters it's going to take. But again, if there's anything you'd like to see, just let me know! I will do my best to make it happen! I'm just as excited to write this story as you are to read it. The idea was swirling around in my head for a while, so I decided to go for it! Enjoy chapter 4, and chapter 5 is in progress now and should be up later tonight or tomorrow! Enjoy my lovelies!

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Chapter 4: Called Out In the Dark

"Hey there, cutie! How's it kickin'?" a smooth voice quailed at me. I cock my head to the side, confused and a bit annoyed. Mia's motions halted quickly, and her gaze narrowed on the boy in front of us. Blond hair, blue eyes, and a smug smirk were sitting on his face.

I smiled overly politely. "No entiendo. No habla ingles," I quip, once again rolling my eyes. I ignore the brutish blond and carry on in my locker. The first bell signaling a warning for tardiness sounds over the boisterous noises in the hall.

The blond seemed a bit put off by my response, but it did not deter him. "Let me introduce myself, since you're new and all. But I'm sure you've heard of me, I'm—"

"ETHAN KAVANAGH! WHAT DO YOU WANT?" Mia screamed at him. "CAN'T YOU SEE I'M TALKING TO HER?"

"More like trying to flag down a taxi cab," Ethan sniggered. So this is Ethan, Kate's "big-shot" brother. They were constantly at odds, but they were relatively close. Kate told me he was the most eligible bachelor at Seattle High, but the thought disgusted her for obvious reasons.

"Don't interrupt Kavanagh," Mia growled with barely suppressed rage. Even though he was considered "hot stuff," Mia despised him for some reason. I think I was quickly finding out why.

"Butt out, Mia. This is none of your concern!" Ethan said back. "Anyways, where was I?" Ethan smiled at me. "I was about to ask you if you wanted to come watch me pitch at tomorrow's game. After all, I am the best pitcher this school has seen in 25 years."

"No thank you. I'll be busy," I said nonchalantly as I tried to ignore him. I made to walk around him, and he trapped me. He put his hands on either side of me, and brought his face level with mine.

"I think you're going to want to come see me, Anastasia. Trust me; there are hundreds of girls who would die to be where you are," he said. What a smug, arrogant bastard!

"Well, go ask one of them," I say, my sweet smile dripping with venomous sarcasm. His gaze narrowed in on me, and his smile deepened.

"Why Anastasia Steele, are you playing hard to get?" He purred at me, attempting to flirt. I nervously tugged on my long sleeves. He was making me very uncomfortable.

"Get lost Ethan, she said no!" Mia attempted to come to my rescue, but it was a vain attempt. Ethan ignored her completely, his attention focused in on me.

"What do you say Steele? Want to come watch me? I'll show you a _good _time afterwards, I promise. And baby, I always keep my promises," Ethan said, moving in closer at the word "good" so he was inches from my face.

"Go away Ethan! She's not interested! Plus Christian likes Ana—" Mia said, but abruptly stopped and slammed her hand over her mouth, and it was apparent that she wasn't supposed to say that out loud. My head snapped over at the same time Ethan's did. My guess was that was what she was trying to tell me in her poor attempt at charades.

"What the hell? Your fuck-up of a brother likes her? HA! That's a laugh! Christian Grey is the biggest fucking loser. He's a waste of fucking breath. A reject—" Ethan started saying, but he was caught in mid sentence with a resounding slap that reverberated through the entire hallway.

"You fucking bitch!" Ethan screamed at me, holding his reddening face. It was then I realized my palm stung. I had hit him! I gasped, not even realizing I had hit him. It was an automatic response; when he insulted Christian, I couldn't take it any longer.

"Ha! Looks like you're the little bitch Ethan. You got slapped BY A GIRL!" Mia practically doubled over in laughter. I stared him down, my eyes icily glazing over.

"Get away from me, now," I hissed through grated teeth. Adrenaline was racing through my veins, pushing me into a bravery I didn't know I possessed. "If you ever say another word against Christian, I swear to God!"

"Oh, your psycho boy got your panties in a twist? Fuck you, bitch. He's a worthless piece of shit, and now you're jumping on his cock? The psycho is a violent, out of control maniac. He almost fucking killed the last SOB he fought because of the violence! You want to fuck him, let him beat you, too? Let me tell you something Anastasia, no one makes a fool out of me!" Ethan screamed at me.

I felt my anger boiling up, ready to spill out. _"He's a worthless piece of shit…"_ kept playing in my head. I balled up my fist, barely containing the rage, and punched him as hard as I could in his jaw. He staggered back, yelling as his nose began to bleed. "You're the worthless one! You are a coward, Kavanagh! If I so much as hear 'Christian' whispered from your mouth, I'll do much worse!" I screamed.

"You'll regret this, Steele. I swear you will, you fucking cunt," Ethan cupped his bleeding nose, and snarled at me. He retreated quickly, and his pride was dragging behind him. I blew out a breath I didn't know I was holding. _Shit, what did I just do? _My hand was throbbing from the punch, and radiating up my arm.

There was a crowd around us, staring in awe. I ignored them as I straightened my t-shirt and pulled my hair out of its ponytail. I nervously ran my fingers through my knotted, brown hair, and then tossed in unceremoniously into a half-bun, whole mess. I was prickling from the encounter, and my adrenaline was receding. _Crapola, did that really happen?_

"Ana, are you okay?" Mia asked, concern lacing her words. She was staring at me, too, her gaze incredulous.

"Not now, Mia, please," I whispered. I rushed out of there, leaving a trail of confused and curious looks. Mia's face was downcast, but my mind was racing with the event, processing it as fast as it could. I was nearly running through the halls, and I could feel hundreds of eyes staring at me.

That had escalated, and so quickly. I didn't know what had come over me. I just punched someone in the face! I had never exerted physical violence on anything, let alone a person! And he was the most popular boy in school. _There's going to be a hit out on me._ This wasn't good. But what worried me was the inexplicable anger and vicious rage that I felt when he insulted Christian. Why did I feel it so strongly? I couldn't fathom why I had a reaction that strong and hit him, not once but twice! Holy shit, what the hell did I just do? I could feel the impending doom threatening, and I knew I was in the eye of the storm, and it was going to hit hard, and soon.

I wasn't paying attention and I ran into somebody. We were both knocked back by the force of the blow, and I landed awkwardly on my butt, my books were flung everywhere. "I am so sorry!" I said, too embarrassed to look up. I saw a hand reach down to pull me up, and I held onto it as I was hoisted up. "Thanks," I said as I looked up into familiar grey eyes, not letting go of his hand.


	5. Chapter 5: It's Beginning to Get to Me

Disclaimer: None of the characters belong to me. It is all property of the talented E.L. James. I am simply borrowing them for the time being! No copyright infringement is intended.

-A/N- This was such a tough chapter! It is one of the pivotal ones between our dear Ana and sexy Christian. I had so many ideas on where I wanted to go with it that I ended up rewriting it several times. Hopefully the next ones won't be as challenging! As always, thank you for the continued support. I love the reviews! They are really helpful in motivating me to write faster! I am working on the next chapter soon. Thanks for staying with me and being so patient. Life is not an easy journey, and time is one commodity that there is never enough of. So enough rambling, enjoy the chapter. Reviews are always appreciated! Much love guys!

Chapter 5: It's Beginning to Get to Me

Christian's POV

Hypnotizing blue eyes met mine, and her hand was in mine, grasping for dear life. We stood there for a quarter of forever, lost in each other; her eyes offered me a glimpse of eternity. The final bell jolted us back to attention. The students were milling around, still trying to catch a glimpse before rushing off to class.

"Christian," she breathed out in hushed whisper. I closed my eyes as her soft voice chanted in my mind, sending shivers of sweet surrender down my spine.

"Anastasia," I whispered her name aloud, and it was a relic to me. I opened my eyes and we were entranced in each other's gaze. _Shit, she's still touching me._ The response my body had to her had grown exponentially. At first, it was just a pang of flames, an electric shock, but now I was engulfed in the feeling, burning from the inside out. I stared at her face, and it was a mirror of mine.

There were so many things I wanted to say to her right now, and I didn't know how to articulate any of it without fucking it up. _How can I say what I feel when I have no fucking clue what this even is?_ I didn't even know if I was feeling anything I could name. I felt this magnetism towards Anastasia. She was like the sun—distant, beautiful, potentially everything—and I was the fool Icarus flying to close. The only thing I could mumble was: "Anastasia, what are you doing to me?"

I heard her sharp intake of breath, and she was biting her lip. _Fuck that was so sexy. _Her hand squeezed mine, and another electric flame shot through towards my heart. I closed my eyes, relishing this exhilarating feeling. I opened my mouth to say something, anything…

"Ana! What the hell is going on? The school is abuzz about you!" Kate Kavanagh interrupted my sweet moment with my sweet Anastasia. _Fuck it all to hell! _I was irritated beyond belief because of this interruption. Anastasia's hand snapped out of mine, and she wrapped her hands protectively around herself.

Anastasia's eyes got round, and the look of fear crept onto her beautiful face. "I-I don't know, it just happened," she stuttered.

"What happened?" I snapped, worried. Anastasia turned her powder blue eyes towards me, her forehead creased in worry, and she was gnawing her bottom lip.

Anastasia's eyes swept from me to Kate. "I, well, I hit Ethan," she said quietly. _What the fuck?_

"Why the hell would you hit him?" Kate said viciously, her eyes narrowing angrily at Anastasia.

"Back off Kavanagh," I growled. I stepped closer to Anastasia, protecting her instinctively.

"He was trying to ask me out, and wouldn't take no for an answer. He just wouldn't listen! Then he said…horrible things…" Anastasia tried explaining, but trailed off, lost in thought behind those beautiful eyes. My head went into a full spin; he had tried to ask her out. He harassed her, hurt her. He was fucking dead.

"What the fuck did he say?" I snarled as my anger and rage was building inside. My skin was prickling with the familiar feeling of violence, but it had a severe edge to it. _This was different…this was primal, all-consuming rage…this was about protecting her, my Anastasia._

"Nothing, Christian, please don't worry about it," Anastasia said desperately. Her eyes were aglow with worry and something else; I couldn't place it. My rage was not quelled but rather intensified. _What did that son of a bitch say to her? _

"Is that why you punched him?" Kate asked, her voice softening. My body tensed up at the thought of Anastasia hitting Ethan. I grabbed her hand, and it was red. She winced as the pain fleeted across her face. Something akin to instinct drove me to pick up her hand and place a gentle kiss on it. I didn't know why I did it, but her sharp intake of breath sent a bolt straight through me.

Anastasia looked between me and Kate warily, and finally took a cleansing breath before she spoke. "He wouldn't take 'no' for an answer. He was making me so uncomfortable. Then Mia said…something, and he went off." She looked at me with such a heart-wrenching gaze that I nearly topped at the pain in her eyes. "Oh Christian, he started saying such abhorrent things about you that I couldn't take it. I slapped him."

"Why would he say anything about Christian?" Kate asked, and she took the words right out of my mouth before I could even formulate them into a complete sentence.

"Because Mia said that you liked me, Christian," Anastasia whispered. Her eyes were fleeting, and couldn't quite meet mine. _Way to keep your trap shut, Mia. _That wasn't the point, and my mind skipped back to the problem at hand. I'd deal with this Mia-fiasco later and process the aftermath with Anastasia later. My fists were clenched so hard that I could feel my heart pulsating rapidly. I left in the middle of the discussion with the destination already in mind. I headed straight to where Ethan frequented before toddling into class. _That mother fucker was dead._

"Christian! No!" I heard her sweet voice ringing as I quickly descended on Ethan. I nearly ran down the hall, my rage a guiding light in the darkness of my anger. My fury was outmatched only by a hurricane meeting a tornado. I saw Ethan by his locker, nursing what looked like a painful blow. I hope he was prepared because that was fucking nothing compared to what I was going to do to him. He didn't see me coming.

"Mother fucker!" I screamed as I seized him by the back of his neck. I towered over him by half a foot, and the fucker was cowering like a caged animal. My rage ran red through my veins, and I slammed him into the locker. I was panting through my anger, and it took all I had not to snap his fucking neck. _He tried to touch her, tried to defile her with his fucking womanizing ways. Not again. He will not go near her again._

"WHAT THE FUCK, GREY?" Ethan yelled, his face wincing as I held the scruff of his neck tighter.

"If you go near Anastasia again, I will fucking kill you! Do you understand that asshole? When she says 'no,' the lady means 'no.' If you so much as breathe her name, I will snap you like a fucking twig," I whispered harshly. The color from his face drained. I drew my fist back to solidify my message, but I felt a delicate pull on my elbow.

"Please Christian, don't. I don't want you to get in trouble over this," Anastasia's beautiful blue eyes were wide with worry, and my heart softened at the sight. I instantly dropped Ethan and turned to her, and her hand was still on my elbow.

"Skip class with me?" I said quietly. Her eyes were aglow with her delight, signaling her yes. I glowered at Ethan who was pulling himself up, trying to gather himself after my assault. _Mother fucker was lucky Anastasia was here to stop me. _"Stay the fuck away, Kavanagh! Don't you even say a fucking word to her! Or next time, she won't be there to stop me!"

I grabbed Anastasia's hand, and damn if it didn't feel right. We quickly and quietly made our way to the exit towards the courtyard. Class had been in session for about ten minutes, so our absences would be noted sooner rather than later. I looked to make sure the coast is clear and we exited out into the secretive solace of the courtyard. We found a hidden comfort of the weeping willow as we sat down away from the view of prying eyes. I glanced down to see our hands still intertwined.

I turned toward her and brought our joined hands to rest on my knee. There was a comfortable silence between us, but the need to say what we were each thinking was evident. I took a deep, cleansing breath and attempted to gather my spiraling thoughts.

"Anastasia, there is just so much I want to say to you, but—" I didn't get to finish my sentence before I felt her soft, luscious lips on mine. _Holy fucking shit…she's kissing me...she's fucking kissing me. _My heart stuttered in my chest, and my whole body caught on fire. The kiss was innocent, but full of devious passion. I moved my lips against hers, and it was awkward, but it was beyond anything I could have ever hoped for. _Fuck, she was delicious._ This was my first kiss, you know because being a quiet freak with a reputation for violence didn't always go over well with the ladies.

The kiss was over way too fast, but fuck was it amazing. I knew I was smiling like an idiot, and Anastasia, my sweet Anastasia, gave me a shy smile. She was blushing, and damn if it wasn't adorable. "Call me Ana," she said simply. _Ana…sweet, sexy Ana. _I played with the sound of it in my head. It didn't roll off my tongue as easily as Anastasia, but it was just as alluring.

"Okay, Ana," I conceded. She scooted closer to me and nestled under my arm. I felt whole and content. I put my chin on her head as she curled closer into me. This touch was not scary; it was exhilarating, freeing. It was the closest I had ever come to another person without fighting, or at least since her, the crack whore. Her hand was still in mine, and I let go to rub my hand gently up her arm.

I felt Ana tense under me, and she gripped her sleeves, holding them in place. I gave her a puzzled look, but she wouldn't meet my eyes. "Ana, what's wrong?" I asked, worried that I had hurt her.

"Nothing, it's nothing," she assured me, and that was the end of it. She closed up like a book, but didn't move from her spot. _What the fuck was that about?_ I didn't want to push my luck, so I let it go. I was surprised, but figured I would ask about it later and not fuck up this moment.

I decided to switch tracks and move back on the way of discussing feelings and all that shit. Even though I was shit at talking about it, I wanted her to know how I felt. "Ana, I like you. I mean, really fucking like you. I have never felt this way. I know we've known each other all of three minutes, but, I just feel this pull towards you. I don't want to say fate or some sappy shit like that, but I don't know. You're the sun, Ana, and I am Icarus, entranced by your light."

Ana couldn't quite meet my eyes, and that cute blush was spreading on her face again. "I know, Christian. It's intense and sudden, but I feel it too." She finally met my eyes, and I felt a compulsion to kiss her again. I gently leaned in, nervous as all fuck, and tentatively touched her lips. The kiss was too brief, but I was on fire again. Every nerve ending was responding to the kiss, and I felt a pull in my groin. My jeans were getting a little too tight for comfort.

Ana pulled away first to catch her breath, and her blue eyes were alive with passion. "Let's go out tomorrow. Catch a movie; maybe grab a bite, whatever. I want this…whatever this is between us…to start somewhere."

"Alright, it's a…date," I said, and the word sounded foreign to me.

"Okay! How about we meet at the Seattle Mall after school," Ana said excitedly. I was excited too. My heart was beating out of sync again, but my blood was alight with the glow of Ana. Just being near her was enthralling.

We got up from our cozy spot, and she took my hand as we snuck back into the school. We were a few minutes until the next class, and she slowly let go of my hand. "Until tomorrow, Mr. Grey," she said with a wink. She turned to leave, but after a few steps, she came back towards me. She stood on her tip-toes, grabbed the back of my neck to bring me closer to her, and gave me a sweet kiss goodbye.

I watched her retreating form, admiring her lovely ass. I had a date tomorrow, I had a fucking date! I couldn't contain my joyous smile as I headed to my locker to get ready for my next class. _Just wait Miss Steele, you haven't seen anything yet._


	6. Chapter 6: I Can Hardly Speak at All

-A/N- Hello my lovelies. Here, after a long anticipation. It's Chapter 6 – the date! Sorry for the long lull in between chapters. Real life can get overwhelmingly busy, and as much as I would love to bury myself in the written word of my literary world, I do have responsibilities in the real world as a full time grad student working two jobs and participating in various activities. My final weeks of grad school were a flurry of papers, projects, and tests. Add in Christmas time in retail, and I have no time left to remember what my own name is! I have been working on this chapter bit by bit, revising, rethinking, and revisiting it. It took a while, but I am happy with how it turned out. Hopefully you are as well! I have a month off from school for winter break, so I will be dedicating as much time as possible to this. Thanks so much for every review, private message, following, and favorite. I love you all! Now, on with the chapter!

-Disclaimer- The Fifty Shades Trilogy is property of the wonderfully talented E.L. James. I am just a fan with a rampant imagination. No infringement is intended.

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Chapter 6: I Can Hardly Speak at All

Ana's POV

I looked in the mirror for the hundredth time. I was going to be late for school, but at this point, I didn't care. My date with Christian was after school, and I needed to look at least half way presentable. My wardrobe was limited to mainly vintage band tees, jeans, and the occasional nice dress shirt to appease my mom for her need of "girly-ness." I had on a breezy blue camisole with a turquoise cardigan over top of it. Did it say, "hi, I'm ready for our first date," or "hi, I'm a loser trying too hard"? I didn't know, and at this point, I was running out of time to answer that question.

I sighed dejectedly as I settled for it. It was the only thing I had that brought out my eyes and accentuated what little curves I had. I grabbed my book bag and did a final check in the mirror. It would have to do. I hopped into Wanda, my sea blue classic Volkswagen Beetle Bug. It took a hope and prayer for her to run, but she was my baby. I made my way down the winding roads to Seattle High.

After parking Wanda, I made my way through the crowded halls as students were rushing to get in that last social moment before going to homeroom. My mind was racing with the thought of my date with Christian. My lips still tingled in memory of the kiss. While we were talking yesterday, I had the most overwhelming urge to kiss him, and surprising both of us, I did. His confession still rattled in my mind.

"Ana, I like you. I mean, really fucking like you. I have never felt this way. I know we've known each other all of three minutes, but, I just feel this pull towards you. I don't want to say fate or some sappy shit like that, but I don't know. You're the sun, Ana, and I am Icarus, entranced by your light." Oh Christian, how did you take the very words out of my mouth?

I snapped out of my reverie and continued walking towards my locker. When I got there, I felt eyes watching me. I glanced around and see most of my peers staring at me, some with curiosity, and others with distaste. I sighed heavily. The event with Ethan seemed like a distant memory after the conversation with Christian. I didn't finish dealing with Kate after the event because Christian and I had left so suddenly.

I ignored the gazes, and started to brace myself for the long day before I the date. The date…I had a date with Christian Grey! I was so excited over the thought! I felt giddy, and for the first time in so long, I felt like a girl my age, not someone whose haunted memories still plagued her. Now is not the time to recollect down the broken bits of memory lane, Steele. I sighed heavily, feeling the tension crawling up my spine. The familiar ache was threading into my consciousness, and I was prickling with the paralyzing panic.

"There you are, Ana! We need to talk!" I heard the sweet voice of Mia Grey, and my body instantly relaxed. The momentary lapse in control over my memories, and just like that it was gone. Not now, Ana. Deal with your shit later! I turned to see Mia with her big, bright eyes crinkled in joy as her smile lit up her entire face.

"What's up Mia?" I asked nervously, anxious that she was going to bring up Christian.

"What happened yesterday? Christian has been all smiles and giggles since yesterday, and he won't say why! He's usually all Mr. Broody,' but not last night! He was whistling, and Christian 'broody-pants' Grey does not whistle!" Mia exclaimed happily.

"We talked, that's it," I stammered nervously, shyness surrounding me like a shroud. This thing with Christian was so new, and talking about it felt l was jinxing it.

"Oh, Ana! I need details, my dear! Christian would not be so jovial over mere talking. I need more information!" Mia continued to press me, and I felt myself caving.

"Alright! We have a date today after school," I said as a smile tugged at my lips.

Mia squealed with barely contained happiness, and it was a contagion that I quickly caught. She grabbed my hand and started jumping excitedly. I felt like I was being jostled by Hurricane Mia, but her enthusiasm quelled the shock of the shaking. "This is so exciting!" Mia yelped in devilish delight.

"It is not anything official right now, but it's a start!" I explained cautiously.

"I know, I know…but still! It's a GREAT start!" Mia said. She smiled her million dollar smile, and I was renewed with a sense of hope. "I have to go Ana, but we will talk more in class!" Mia said before she rushed off.

The late bell was tolling, and the tardy students were suddenly rushing toward homeroom. I was in no hurry because nothing could ruin this happy moment for me.

Or at least I thought so. As I started toward my homeroom, I saw Ethan. My stomach dropped to my knees, and I began to quiver. His face was bruised from the abuse Christian and I bestowed on him yesterday, and his gaze narrowed angrily at me as he focused in on me. I went stock still as I was rooted to the spot. He began to advance on me, and there was no escape. Oh no, oh no, oh no.

Ethan was feet from me, and I was paralyzed with a torrential terror that threaded its way into my core. His face was scrunched into an angry snarl as he hissed out: "You bitch."

In a moment of pure adrenaline, I turned to bolt. My body was reacting on pure instinct, but I was not faster than Ethan. He grabbed my elbow, and I was shaking so badly that I feared collapse. His grip tightened on my elbow, and I was trapped and alone in an empty hallway.

"Let me go!" I screamed, but Ethan would not loosen his group. His smile was twisting into something sick and dripping with degradation, and his other hand grabbed the front of my shirt and yanked me close.

"Your little freak isn't here to protect you, is he?" Ethan growled through gritted teeth.

My world turned on its axis as I was suddenly released from Ethan's death grip. I heard a string of expletives come from Ethan, and as I glanced up, I saw Kate standing there. She must have pushed him off me. Anger was streaked across her face, and her stance was one of defiance.

"Dammit, Ethan! What the hell are you thinking? Leave her alone! She's the one person in this damn school I can actually be friends with, and I am not going to let you ruin it! She's not interested in you. Get over it!" Kate yelled. Both Ethan and I were in a semi-state of shock. I was speechless, and Ethan was stammering for words, looking shameful under the scrutinizing gaze of his sister.

"I…I…I'm sorry. I was so pissed off, and I don't know what came over me," Ethan apologized, but it was aimed more to appease his sister than to make up for the wrongdoings against me. Kate, though still angered, softened a bit. She walked over to me, helped me up, and gave me a big hug.

"Ana, I'm sorry. For giving you the third degree yesterday and for my meathead of a brother being such a jerk. Please forgive me," Kate pleaded softly as she hugged me harder. I was torn because I wanted nothing to do with Ethan, especially after his scathing words directed at Christian. I acquiesced on her behalf because she was the one person in this school, besides Mia, that I actually considered a friend. Maybe I folded too quickly, but my need to hate Ethan and make his life a living hell was underwhelmed by my friendship with Kate.

"For you, Kate, I will put this behind me. I can't guarantee the same for Christian though. I am only doing this for you, and not for him," I said pointedly as I glared at Ethan as he dusted himself off. Ethan could not meet my eyes, and Kate let out a sigh of relief.

"Thank you so much, Ana," Kate whispered as I was enveloped in a hug once more. I felt oddly relieved for this moment. The troubles with Ethan were satiated for now, and Kate and I were still on good terms. Perhaps this was a good omen for my date tonight.

"Now, we better all be off before an SOS is sent out for us!" Kate exclaimed. I trudged my way, as a pseudo truant, to homeroom as I watch Ethan and Kate head off. Kate smiled once more and waved a goodbye, and Ethan did not acknowledge my presence. My head was swimming in a daydream of grey eyes and soft lips, and the rest of my day was a hazy fog as I looked forward to my date with Christian Grey.

* * *

I stood awkwardly outside of the restaurant, fidgeting with the hem of my cardigan. They clouds loomed like a nightmare overhead, darkening the horizons of Seattle as the rain was threatening to fall. The day had been unyielding in the anxiety that was catapulting my heart into elevation. I was so nervous, and I wondered if Christian was having similar anxieties. This was my first real date in so long. Outside of the disastrous homecoming date in ninth grade with Bradley Carter, I've barely had any experiences with the opposite sex.

I heard footsteps coming towards me. The heavy thud on the pavement snapped me out of my dingy daydream, and brought me into a beautiful reality. Christian Grey stood before me in all his glory. He was devastatingly handsome. His hair was tousled, and his grey eyes were dancing joyously as our gaze connected. In that moment we were lost in each other and that familiar pull began driving us closer to each other. What this was, I had no idea. There was no explanation for this intense reaction to each other, this blurring of our realities into a delicious oblivion.

No words were needed as I reached for his hand, and our fingers fit together, perfectly. My breathing hitched and caught in my chest as I glanced up shyly. He was as nervous as I was, but there was a magnetism that was our guiding light in this uncertainty.

"Wow, you look awesome, Ana!" Christian said in appreciation. "I really like this color on you!"

"Thank you," I said as a blush crept across my pale face. His compliment was so sweet, and from his sincere tone, I knew it was genuine. He smiled back at me, and in that second, we were both content just being in each other's presence. "Let's head inside," I suggested, and Christian nodded in agreement. We walked hand in hand into the small Italian restaurant. A sudden nervousness overcame me, and my collective calm abandoned me when I desperately needed it most. I was suddenly a nervous mess, and I felt awkward.

I chanced a look at Christian, and he seemed well put together. Way to go, Steele. You're going to blow this big time with your awkward gawkiness. I sighed, and it was my inexperience with dating that was my biggest opponent at the moment. It was all too real now, and the chances of me messing up this picture-perfect evening were all too high.

As we were greeted by the hostess, she smiled too brightly. I narrowed my gaze at her as she concentrated on Christian far too long for my liking. Thankfully Christian seemed oblivious to it as his attention was on me. Ana: 1, Skanky hostess: 0. I felt like a vixen with the way Christian was looking at me.

"Table for three? Is someone else joining you?" The hostess asked hopefully, blatantly staring at me then gazing lustfully at Christian. What a bitch!

"No, just us," Christian answered for us. My responding smile was dripping with venomous sarcasm. I tightened my grip on Christian's hand, and I felt very possessive over him. He's mine.

"Oh, Okay then," the hostess said with a high-pitched voice that betrayed her true feelings. "Right this way then!"

"After you, Ana," Christian said, motioning me in front of him. I walked in front of him, but he did not release my hand. We walked the short distance until we reached a small table nestled in its own secret corner. The room was dim with low lighting accentuating the romantic mood. This was the perfect choice! Not half bad, Ana! You may have a chance after all.

"Your server will be with you shortly," the hostess said with a clipped tone, and with that she twirled on her heel and retreated away.

Christian and I sat down as an awkward silence enclosed around us. I was racking my brain for something, and it seemed like Christian was doing the same. Our moment of pure contentment had passed, and reality had set in. I was hopeless when it came to anything even resembling romance, and I don't think Christian was much better.

He finally cleared his throat, looked at me and smiled. His grin was nervous, but also hopeful. I smiled back at him. Sure, we were both amateurs at this relationship thing, but we could figure it out together.

"Any idea what you want to order, Ana?" he asked me, and the tension had subsided a bit.

"I'm usually a big fan of spaghetti, so I think that's what I'm getting. What about you, Mr. Grey? What culinary adventure are you going to indulge in tonight?" I asked. He smiled that megawatt smile at me, and the butterflies fluttered happily in my stomach.

"I'm stuck between the chicken alfredo and eggplant parm," Christian answered. The server finally made his appearance and smiled at us.

"Benevento! Welcome to Antonia's House of Italia! My name is Lorenzo, and I will be your server this evening! Can I start you off with a beverage?" Lorenzo said. His stare lingered on me, and I squirmed under it. It was more than a friendly stare, and I did not like it at all; it caused the hairs on the back of my neck to stand on end.

"Just a water with lemon, please," I said trying to ignore him. Christian was still looking the menu over and did not seem to notice Lorenzo's overbearing regard.

"I'll take an iced tea," Christian said, finally looking up. Lorenzo met Christian's eyes for mere milliseconds before resuming his intense staring at me.

"We will have that right out, Madame," he said with a slow smile taking over his face. Oh great…just what I need-stalker server creep playing eye tag with me.

I was still reeling from the uneasy feeling Lorenzo was giving me, and it seemed Christian had picked up on it too. I noticed his body language had changed subtly. His jaw was tensed and his fist was clenching the menu a little too tightly.

Lorenzo whisked back with our drinks, and his plastered smile was painted on his face, and his dark eyes were alight with flirtation. "Madame, are you ready to order?" he asked, once again only addressing me.

I looked to Christian who was shooting daggers from his dangerous gaze toward Lorenzo. "I'm not sure. What do you think I should get, Christian?" I asked, desperately trying to ignore him. What the heck is going on? I don't attract a boy in 15+ years now in just a few days I have them falling out of my coattails!

"I think you should get spaghetti, Ana. In fact, that's what I'll have too. We want one big plate of spaghetti for the both of us to share," Christian spat out a harsh emphasis on "us." I smiled thanks at him. I was tired of creepy guys. With the exception of Christian, the guys were sleazy.

The waiter just smiled a phony smile toward Christian, and winked at me. Christian's gaze narrowed angrily, and his body was tensing up even more. Once Lorenzo had left, Christian relaxed noticeably. To ease the strain, I took my foot and gently ran it up his calf, hoping to covey my interest was only in him. He closed his eyes at the feel of my foot, and smiled a bit. He reached across the table and held my hand.

Christian and I fell into an easy conversation, and I was relaxed once again. Even though I had only known Christian for a couple of weeks now, it felt like we had known each other so much longer. Perhaps it was because we were old souls considered misfits in this time. Christian had a beautiful smile, and it send shivers of sweet surrender down my spine. We were both enjoying ourselves, and our awkwardness had receded.

"Madame and sir," Lorenzo purred as he interrupted our quiet moment of peace, "your food is here. Careful, it's really hot." He accentuated "hot" in a way that was dripping with innuendo, and it was fully directed at me. Really? Get a life creep! His eyes swept over me, and I shuddered. Christian noticed this too, and his face twisted in anger. Lorenzo set our plate down, and casually rested his hand on my shoulder.

"Does Madame need anything else?" He whispered. I yanked my shoulder away as quickly as I could, and before I knew it, Christian was on his feet. Christian's whole demeanor had changed; he was taller, leaner, and angrier. He seized Lorenzo up by the collar, and snarled angrily as he leaned in menacingly.

"No, she doesn't need anything else, and if you so much as lay a hand on her again, you will regret it. Do you understand?" Christian shouted. All eyes were suddenly on us, and there was a still in the restaurant. The only sound that could be heard was Christian's angry, harsh yelling at Lorenzo.

"Sorry, sir. I overstepped my boundaries—" Lorenzo started, but before he could finish the sentence, Christian berated him once again.

"Damn straight you overstepped your boundaries! Now get the fuck out of here!" Christian screamed as he dropped Lorenzo down. Lorenzo scurried away, but the eyes of the other patrons were still on us. Christian sat down, quietly unwrapped his silverware, and began eating. My eyes were wide in shock; it was like the episode of outburst did not even occur. I decided to let it go and attempt to salvage the rest of the date.

Christian and I ate in silence for a while, sharing our large plate of spaghetti. As I took a bite, I slurped the spaghetti noodle absentmindedly, and I soon found that Christian had the other end of the noodle. We laughed as we were caught in this Lady and the Tramp-esque moment. The silence that surrounded us, high in tension, was diluted into a collective calm that soothed us both.

We finished the meal in that calm silence with intermittent small talk. Lorenzo came back only to refill our drinks once and give us the bill. I picked up the bill, intent on paying it. Christian snapped it from my hand the second I had it.

"Christian! Let me get this one!" I insisted. He ignored me as he pulled out his wallet, grabbed a few bills out, and threw it on the table on top of the table. I tried to protest, but it was in vain. I rolled my eyes. "I'll get the next one then!"

"There will be a next time?" Christian asked hopefully. He was childlike in his hope, and it tugged at my heartstrings. I melted instantly, and my irritation over the check was forgotten.

"Of course there will be a next time," I said sweetly, and with that, he grabbed my hand and we left the restaurant.

* * *

Christian walked me back to my car since it was getting dark. We held hands again, and that contentment was back, threading its way to create a solace for Christian and me. The events at dinner weighed heavily on my mind. Christian went from a nervous wreck to Mr. Jealousy in a hot minute. We were both so new into this relationship that we aren't sure of each other yet. But part of me was so overjoyed that Christian was so overprotective of me. It made me feel cherished, like I meant something to him and he had to protect me from harm, or in this case the creepy waiter.

There was a silence that had settled on us, but it was one of comfort. We knew how we felt about each other, and right now, words were unnecessary. I was contemplating the goodnight kiss. The memory of our kiss yesterday still burned in my memory, searing my lips in delicious ways. I wanted nothing more than to feel that fire once more. Christian Grey was my sun, and I was the fool Icarus caught in the rays, melting from the inside out.

I saw my faithful Wanda. It was a signal that our night was almost over, and my heart was pounding. _Will it happen? Will I get my kiss? _I didn't know why I was so nervous; we had kissed once, and I had initiated it. "Here's my car," I said softly, breaking the hushed calm between us.

Christian's eyes widened at Wanda, and he looked shocked. "Wow…this is a classic. But is it safe?" Christian asked quietly, worry plaguing his voice.

"She's gotten me around the last few years, so I think so," I said with a chuckle. He seemed genuinely concerned, and it made my heart flutter. _He is such a sweet, caring person underneath that entire tough guy exterior._

"Ana, I had such a great time tonight. Aside from that fucking waiter, it was perfect. Thank you. This was my first date, and it was pretty fucking awesome," Christian said happily.

"I couldn't have said it better Christian, thank you," I said. We both smiled at each other, waiting for the other to move. _It's your chance, Ana, go for it! _Without thinking any longer, I leaned up on my tiptoes and made my move. Unbeknownst to me, Christian was doing the same thing.

We collided, and not in the romantic way. My forehead hit his nose, and the impact caused me to bite my check. "Ouch!" we both cried out in unison. With our imperfect timing and uncooperative movements, our goodnight kiss was a huge flop.

"Well, that did not go as planned," I said, embarrassed. I looked up and Christian had a dazzling smile on his face, and his eyes twinkled with laughter.

"No it didn't, Anastasia. Now if you hold still, I will get to do what I've been dying of since yesterday," he whispered huskily. My heart was beating out of my chest as his hands framed my face. The look in his eyes turned my knees to jelly, and I was holding onto his body so I wouldn't collapse. He stopped mere centimeters from my face, and he was searching my eyes.

"Kiss me, Christian, please," I pleaded, and then he moved. His lips mashed against mine in a sloppy rhythm, but it was glorious. We were both so new at this, and we were learning together. I threaded my hands into his messy hair, and opened my mouth in invitation. He took charge, and our tongues tangled in a luscious dance.

Christian pulled me close to him, and I clung on for dear life. Every sense was on fire as he was igniting something primal that I felt in my very core. The kiss deepened, but it was so sweet. It was the kind of perfection we could only experience together. We kissed for seconds, minutes, hours…I don't know. The moment was too much at the moment, and it was so overwhelming. I was alive in every way I had never imagined. My heart was about to explode out of my chest, my skin was flushed red, and I had visions of stars dancing behind my eyes. I couldn't formulate what I was feeling. He was everywhere at once, encompassing my world. The tunnel vision that had become my life in the past few minutes was so prevailing that I had to stop just to take it all in.

I pulled back suddenly, and he looked startled. We were both panting heavily, and I whispered heatedly: "Please Christian, I need you." He responded with an enthusiasm that I did not know anyone could possess, and he pushed me against my car. His hands were still cupping my face, but my hands had grown braver. I traced his strong jaw as his lips softly caressed mine. I gasped for breath as he continued to move down to my neck. The feel of his soft lips and the stubble from his 5'oclock shadow was a heady combination.

I needed more contact, and the rational part of my brain knew a public display was anything but smart. I groped for the car door handle in the darkness. I broke the kiss long enough to frantically motion for us to get in the backseat of Wanda. Christian looked at me questioningly, but when I launched myself at him, that was all the convincing he needed.

The backseat was cramped, but that was no hindrance on us. We sat haphazardly on the seats as his lips sought mine was more, and the fireworks exploded in my stomach once again. I needed more of him, but I knew I would never get enough. My hands clenched the front of his shirt, and then I tore it off over his head. He snapped back so quickly I fell back. In the poorly lit parking lot, his eyes were wide with terror and he was trying to cover his chest. I looked closely, and saw small circular dots marring his beautiful chest. In an anguished breath I had let out, I realized they were scars.

I reached for him, to offer some comfort, but he was like a caged animal; escape was his only option. He frantically reached for the door, and I panicked. Without thinking it through, I stopped him the only way I could. "Christian, stop please! Look at me!" I hurriedly took my cardigan off and showed him my arms.

It was a secret I had not shown anyone in the past year. Christian looked at my arms, and saw the scars. I too had similar round scars from the biting burn of a cigarette butt. My arms were also littered with scars from the abuse of _him. _Here were roadmaps of the torture we had endured, and we were both travelers on the same hellish highway. We sat there, petrified and staring at each other, panting for air.


	7. Chapter 7: This Isn't Everything You Are

-A/N- I can't say thank you enough for all the support from you guys. You are truly the motivation to continue! I tried to get this written as fast as I could! I am keeping up with this story until it's finished. I am already planning a possible sequel, so it will definitely continue! I love you guys. Thanks for every review, favorite, and following. You guys are truly fantastic, and you make me feel so loved. There is some steaminess in this chapter. It's more PG-13/borderline R-ish right now. I will give fair warning when there is sexual content just in case! So here you go…enjoy!

-Disclaimer- I don't own anything related to the Fifty Shades Trilogy. E.L. James is the rightful owner, and she is fabulous! I'm just borrowing her characters for a literary tryst, and then they will be put back in her wonderful world.

* * *

Chapter 7: This Isn't Everything You Are

-Christian's POV-

_Fucking Christ._ I was staring at her arms; the scars were emboldened on her beautiful flesh. We were both gasping for air, and my chest was constricting under the weight of her scars. She's been hurt…my beautiful Anastasia has been hurt. _Who the fuck did this to her?_

"Ana," was all I could choke out as the first sob wracked my body.

"You're not alone, Christian," she said to me. Her beautiful blue eyes were floating in tears as they started leaving trails of a broken heart down her lovely face.

I lunged for her, and my body was alight with anger at her abuser, but I felt a heavy burden tugging at my heart. I hugged her with everything I had. _You're not alone…you're not alone…you're not alone. _The mantra repeated in my head soothing the angered beast, dousing the impaling dread that permeated my demeanor.

"Christ Ana," I sobbed into her hair. She was whispering soothing hymns as she stroked my back tenderly. She was comforting me, yet she was the one with scars littering her arms. I tensed as she touched my back because that was where no one touched me. But she was comforting me in a way no one has ever before.

"We have each other, Christian. We are not alone," Ana whispered once again. I grasped her harder, and our embrace took on a sense of urgency.

"Ana, Fuck," was all I got out before I kissed her again. I felt her lips move against mine, and it was a gentle motion that set my soul on fire. I had no words at the moment, but this seemed right. In my world of darkness, beautiful Ana was my guiding light.

The kiss left us both breathless. It was a kiss of blissful agony; I was in elation at being with her, but the pain she had revealed to me still radiated deep in my core, slicing my own memories of abuse. I hugged her once more, and the words spilled out my mouth before I could stop them. "What the hell happened, Ana? Who scarred you? Who hurt you?"

Ana's smile was sad, and she started tearing up again. "It started last year. My mom had divorced Ray, my step-dad who I consider my real dad. Ray had pretty much raised me after my biological dad died when I was a baby. They had been together 14 years, and suddenly my mom divorced him almost out of nowhere. In a whirlwind romance with a guy named Steven, she remarried within months and we were uprooted and moved to Las Vegas, Nevada. I didn't want to leave Ray, but I couldn't leave my mother. My mother didn't know Steven too well, but she had fallen fast. We were living with him about a month when the verbal abuse started. It was aimed mostly at my mother, but then he started in on me when I would defend her." Ana looked down at her wrenching hands, and she took a deep breath.

"Ana, if it's too hard, you don't have to tell me," I said quickly. The last thing I wanted to do was make her relive her nightmare. I relived mine thousands of times in my head, and I knew it was a hell I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.

"No, it's okay Christian. It's just outside of my mom and Ray, nobody else knows this. The verbal insults were mild at first, but then it escalated so quickly. He would call my mom a 'fat whore' if she didn't cook dinner right. He'd call me a 'stupid cunt' if I did something wrong. It got really bad after he accused my mom of cheating when she was going to work. He started to grab her by the wrist or hair. The first time he choked her is the first time we left.

"We stayed in a dirty motel on the other side of town, but somehow he found us. He came down on bent knees, begging forgiveness. The stupid prick fooled my mom with phony promises as he showered her with 'I love yous', and she went back. He hit her that night, and she stayed. Steven gave her a black eye, and a bit of my mother died that night. He started hitting me not too long after. He would grab my hair if I was late coming home from school, slap me across the face if I tried to protect my mother. I couldn't leave my mother, so I stayed too.

It got worse and worse, and then the cigarette burns started. He would grab my arm as he yelled: 'Dirty little whores like pain, don't you, you little dirty whore?' He would take a long drag of the cigarette, and dig it into my arm. I screamed and screamed, but no one ever saved me. It continued for months. My mom was a zombie by this point. The pain of the abuse got her to a place where she was no longer my mother; she started abusing her anxiety meds. She would get high to escape, and I was left all alone. He started the cutting when I fought back. He'd take out his Harley Davidson pocket knife. He would spend hours sharpening the blade. The first time I kicked him after he burned me, he sliced me. It wasn't deep enough to need stitches, but it bled. And it continued. Little nicks to keep me in line and deep gashes to punish me.

"I always fought, but he was too strong. I stayed as long as I could…I didn't want to leave my mom alone, but when that sick freak tried to force himself on me, I ran. I called Ray and told him everything. He left right away to come get me. I lived with Ray for the next four months. I couldn't bear the thought of what was happening to my mother, but I was too scared to go back. I got a call from her about six months ago. She had divorced Steven after a man named Bob saved her. He was her coworker and noticed all the bruises she had all the time. She had moved to Georgia by this time, and wanted me to come live with her. I did not want to leave Ray, but he said my mom needed me more. Ray had lived Washington, so I moved to Georgia at his insistence. Bob was nice, but he wasn't Ray. After three months of living with my mom, I couldn't stay; I missed Ray too much. So my mom, Bob, and I moved back here to be closer to Ray." By the time my beloved Ana finished, her tears were gone and her voice was detached. It was like she was telling the story of someone else's life and not her own. I held her hand as tightly as I could.

"God Ana. Jesus fucking Christ, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," was all I could say.

There was a moment of tense silence between us that followed. Neither could speak, and I could only guess what was stirring behind those beautiful blue eyes. She looked up at me and asked about my scars. I closed my eyes as the pain of my earliest memories filled me. I had not spoken these memories to hardly anyone. I felt a sense of serenity, and I knew I could trust my enchanting Anastasia with my darkest secrets.

"My birth mother, Ella, was a crack whore. As much as she neglected me, she never abused me. She saved that for her pimp. He would hit and kick me whenever he felt like it. He screamed at me. I was so young I don't remember what he would say, but I remember the smell of cheap booze oh his breath. He would smoke Camel cigarettes, and often chose to use me as an ashtray. My mother died of an overdose, and I was left alone with her for four days until I was found. Grace Trevelyan-Grey was the on-call doctor when I was taken to the hospital. I remember trying to wake my mom up, and she wouldn't get up. I was so hungry I thought I was going to die. Grace saved me when she adopted me," I said. I let out the breath I didn't know I was holding. I looked up, afraid of Ana's reaction. Her blue eyes were swimming in tears once again, and I knew she was crying for me.

"Oh Christian, I'm so sorry," was all she said before she kissed me gently on my lips. My body was tingling in all the right places. I held her cheek and caressed her hair as I deepened our kiss. I couldn't get enough of her taste. Our teeth clanked as she wrapped her arms around my neck. I broke our kiss only for a moment to lift her into my lap. The awkward position in the car only brought us closer. She moaned in my mouth, and my reaction was instant. I felt my pants tightening as my arousal grew. _Fucking Christ, she tasted so sweet. _

I shifted my hips against her, and she must have felt me. She leaned her head back, groaning deep in her throat. I kissed the elegant column of her silky neck. This was too much at once; I had bared my soul to her, and she didn't even flinch. _I'm falling for her. _ She was my type of perfection, and I knew I meant something to her. This was the most complete feeling in my tenuous existence.

I slowly caressed up her arms as her delicate fingers traced my scars. I slowly reached beneath her shirt and traced the silk skin of her stomach. Her breathing accelerated as I slowly made my way up. I felt the lace of her bra, and I moaned loudly. _Fucking hell, she feels so fucking good. _

Ana shot up quickly and reached for my hand. Her eyes were wide and apprehensive. "Christian, this is all too fast. I can't, I'm sorry," she said softly as fear laced her voice. The sting of rejection faded quickly as I realized of course she was right. We had already been so through much on this momentous night.

"I'm sorry for moving too quickly, I was caught in the moment," I said with a quick kiss of her lips. She smiled, relieved at my acceptance of her boundaries.

"It's okay! I just don't want to rush this Christian, it's so new, and this is the first real relationship I've ever really had," she said.

"Same here, Ana. I never had this type of connection with anyone," I said. I kissed her once more, and it was soft. I gazed into the abyss of her bottomless blue eyes. She smiled at me and caressed my face.

"Unfortunately, I'm going to have to head home before my mother gets worried and calls Ray to come search," Ana said.

I put my shirt back on as she tugged her long sleeve shirt back on. We were covered physically, but emotionally—we were both bared to our very cores. My sweet Ana walked a similar path as me, and still came out as sweet and innocent as ever. I got out of her car and stretched, and my muscles protested the very movements. She followed me out and grabbed my hand. I pulled her into another hug, lifting her off her feet. She held on tightly, and the embrace lasted for a quarter of an eternity. I set her down and kissed her once more.

"Ana, I know we've known each other five minutes, but I think I'm falling for you," I confessed quietly.

"It's okay Christian…I'll be here to catch you," she said before she caught me in a deep kiss. She broke the kiss way earlier than I would have liked. "Goodnight Christian."

"Goodnight Anastasia," I said as I kissed her forehead. She hugged me one last time before getting in her car and waving goodbye. I watched her start her deathtrap of a car and drive off. I made sure she was safely on the road before I walked over to my car. I leaned against the door of my Audi and took a deep breath. _What a fucking night. My sweet, innocent Ana was tortured. Her beautiful skin was tragically torn by the hands of that bastard. _I swore then and there if I ever crossed his path, he would pay for every ounce of pain he bestowed onto my precious Anastasia.

I got into my car and started toward my house. I got home and thankfully my boisterous family was not around to burden me for details on my date with Ana. Mom was on-call at the hospital, and dad was working on something in his study. I expected Mia in her footie pajamas and popcorn waiting by the door for details, but my gossip of a sister was elsewhere. I silently snuck up to my room and plopped myself on my bed. The taste of Ana's lips and the feel of her lace bra consumed me as I fell asleep.


	8. Chapter 8: Open Your Eyes

Chapter 8: Open your Eyes

-A/N- Thank you all for the continued support. It's been amazing to see all the reviews, favorites, and follows. I love you all! Just a warning, there is some smut in the beginning of this chapter. Hope you all enjoy!

-Disclaimer- I don't own anything related to the Fifty Shades Trilogy. That is all owned by the wonderful E.L. James.

* * *

My hand traveled down her delectable body, savoring every inch of her soft skin. "God Ana, your skin is flawless," I whispered seductively. I kissed her softly, nipping at her bottom lip. _I told you I wanted to bite your lip, baby._

"Oh, Christian," she moaned into my mouth. How this sexy creature was under me at this moment, I would never know. But I thanked whatever god is out there for sending her to me. My hand traveled down to cup her full breast; it molded perfectly in my hand. I grew harder as I took her perky nipple into my mouth. I teased it with my tongue before gently biting down on it.

My sweet Ana was moaning and moving her hips against me, driving me fucking wild. "You taste so fucking good, Anastasia," I purred. I let my hands travel down her belly, and I stopped at the top her panties. I looked down to see her wearing a small scrap of black lace. _Holy fucking shit, were they hot._

"Hope you aren't too attached to these things," I murmured before I ripped them off. She squealed her surprise, but as I brought her panties up to my nose and inhaled her erotic, enchanting scent, she quieted. Her beautiful blue eyes were hooded with pleasure. I traveled back down to her sex and felt her. _Fuck, she was so wet…so ready. _It was my turn to moan as I whispered in her ear: "Baby, I love how soaking wet you are. You are so fucking ready. Is this all for me?"

She threw her head back as my fingers explored her. I moved my fingers and must have hit a sweet spot that sent her careening off the bed as she bowed her beautiful body towards me. I had to taste her, so I drew my dripping fingers towards my mouth. I made sure she was looking at me as I tasted her. My tongue danced around my fingers, gathering her sweet elixir, savoring it.

"Baby, you're delicious. Fucking amazing. You have to taste yourself," I said as I offered her a taste of her most private desire. She took my finger in her mouth, and gave a wary taste. Her body shifted as she got a taste of how amazing she was. She clamped greedily on my fingers and sucked hard. _Fuck…that was good. Wonder what else her mouth could do? _I leaned down and my tongue invaded her mouth, savoring her taste once more. I pressed my cock into her hip, and once again she sang her moan into my mouth.

"Yes Christian," she muttered. She skirted her hands up my legs, and touched the front of my boxer briefs. She cupped my erection, and the friction from the material was so fucking good. She slowly pulled the waistband over my cock, and it sprung free. She carefully took it into her small hand and caressed me.

"Fuck Ana, yes, oh baby, yes," I moaned through gritted teeth. My body was on fire from her simple touch. She gave me a coy smile as she bent down, licking her lips. I felt the tip of her tongue dart out and lick the tip of my cock. "FUCK!" I screamed as I became malleable putty in her hands. I shouted again as I felt her hot mouth encompass my entire cock.

I felt my body shaking rapidly as my orgasm tore through me. I couldn't even warn her.

"CHRISTIAN!" was all I heard. I was groggy, and the aftermath of my orgasm was still shaking me. _What the fuck? _My sleepy eyes opened as I took in my surroundings. _It was a fucking dream. FUCK!_

"Christian! Dear are you okay?" I looked over and saw my mom. She was wrapped in her silk robe with worry creasing her face. _Fuck, what was going on?_

"Mom, what are you doing here?" I croaked out. I struggled to sit up, but I felt a dampness in my pants. _What the hell? _I reached under the covers and felt a hot, sticky liquid. _SHIT! Fucking fuck! Did I just have a fucking wet dream? _

"Christian, you were screaming! I thought you were having a nightmare! You're clammy, and sweaty. You feel like you might be running a fever, Come on, let's get you out of these wet clothes," my mom said as she tried to pull my blanket down.

Embarrassment flooded through me as I snatched on to the blanket, holding for dear life. "No mom! I'm okay!" I screeched.

"Christian, honey, it is okay if you had a nightmare. Everyone does; it is completely normal," my mother tried to soothe me. My face was turning red and the absurdity of the situation. _Fucking hell, could this get any worse?_

"Mom, I'm fine. It wasn't a nightmare!" I tried to argue with her. I couldn't even think to tell her the truth. _This is so fucking embarrassing. _

"Christian, you've been having nightmares since you were little. This is the first one in so long. Oh dear, should we call Dr. Flynn?" My mother was fawning over me, worrying that the fucking nightmares were back. I couldn't fucking tell her the truth._ Dammit to fucking hell. _

"Mom, don't call Dr. Flynn! I'm fine! Please, get out!" I damn near shouted. I felt bad as my mom's face fell. I sighed, and decided to bite the bullet.

"Mom, honestly, it wasn't a nightmare. I don't remember what I was dreaming about, but I know it wasn't a nightmare. Can you give me a minute to change, please? My clothes are drenched in sweat. After I get dressed, I'll come out and if you want to call Dr. Flynn, you can," I said compromising with her.

"Okay Christian," my mother said with a small smile. She walked out of my room, gently shutting my door. I rubbed my eyes a few times with a sigh. _Fuck! _The dream was so fucking real. I could still feel her hot mouth on me. _Fucking stop it Grey unless you want a repeat of the end of your dream. _I ran my hands over my face, sighing out in complete exasperation. If a dream was that good, I almost couldn't stand it in real life. Ana was my first significant connection; her touch was the only one that did not make me recoil in fear.

_My sweet Ana. _The memories of last night came flooding in, blanketing my mind with the agonizing anger I felt as Anastasia recounted her story of abuse. There were such horrid, retched marks on her beautiful alabaster skin.

My own memories of my abuse come and go, some vivid as if I'm reliving it, and others are fragmented pieces of my history that I can't always recall. But Ana's abuse was within the last few years, so the memories have to be fresh. The sickening dread I've felt since last night did not wane yet, and every recollection of the scars on Ana's arms makes me sicker. God help the bastard if our paths ever crossed, I would fucking kill him.

_Calm down, Grey. No need to get all riled up and angry before the day even fucking starts. _But my anger was getting the better of me, and I felt the rage boil in my blood, painting my world red. I took a deep breath to try to control this blinding anger.

I threw the covers off me, and changed out of my pajamas. I was still embarrassed that I had a wet dream. That hadn't happened to me in so long, and after my first night of kissing Ana, I'm all hormones. I grabbed the first thing I saw in my closet, not caring what it was. I was dressed quickly and walked out to see my mother. I felt badly of how I reacted towards her. She was just worried about my well-being, and I threw her out like a sniveling brat.

My living room was bathed in the low morning light, and my mom sat worriedly on the couch. She was busying herself looking at her daily planner, but the moment I entered the room, she looked up at me. I sat adjacent from her on the overstuffed armchair. The chair creaked under my weight, and I leaned forward on my knees, clasping my hands in front of me.

"Mom, I'm sorry I yelled at you," I started out slowly, searching for the words to say. Should I just tell her the truth? It was embarrassing as all hell, but it would save her a lot of worry and a call to Dr. Flynn.

"Oh Christian, I was so worried. It had been so long since you had a nightmare!" My mother said sorrowfully.

"Mom, it wasn't a nightmare. I promise. I had a dream about…Christ this is humiliating," I said burying my reddening face in my hands.

"You can tell me, honey. You know you can tell me anything," my mother said.

"I had a dream about a girl, and it was not a normal dream. It was more intense," I tried explaining, praying that my mom would get it without me having to spell it out.

"You had a dream about a girl? Then why would you be screaming?" She asked as confusion etched on her face. She thought about it for a moment, and the realization hit her quickly. "OH!"

"I was embarrassed. Now you know why I acted the way I did. I wasn't even sure what had happened myself until you woke me up. I'm sorry I yelled at you," I tried to offer an explanation, but my mother was looking everywhere but at me. "I had a date last night with a girl from school. Her name is Anastasia. I kissed her last night, and that must have spurred the dream."

My mother's eyes snapped at me in a surprise. "Date? You had a date last night and I'm only now hearing about it?"

"You were working last night, and I wanted to keep it a secret in case I screwed it up. But it went great. I really like her, mom. She is the first girl I can actually be myself around, and I'm not afraid of her touch. It's so new that I wasn't sure what was going to happen with it," I tried explaining to my mother. I felt bad for not telling her, but how could I tell anyone when I wasn't sure what was happening?

"Wow. I can't believe you didn't tell me till now. I don't want to be an overbearing mother, but I'd like to know of events like this in my son's life," she said softly. I heard the heartbreak scratched in her low voice.

"I'm sorry mother. I promise I won't keep things like this from you anymore. I just didn't want to tell you before I was sure of it myself. I know it's a stupid excuse, but this is the first girl I can even see myself dating. She's amazing, and I was so sure I'd mess it up," I said.

"Well, tell me about her. I hope I get to meet her soon," my mother said. I knew Ana would have no choice but to join my family for dinner. I almost dreaded it. I wanted to keep her for myself for a while before sharing her.

"She's amazing. Ana's not like any girl I've ever met. She doesn't care about frivolous like make-up and clothes. Ana is so relaxed, carefree, innocent. She has a pure heart full of love despite all the hell she's been through," I said. Visions of my sweet Anastasia danced through my mind.

My mother's face lit up, and she seemed genuinely happy. "I think we should have her over to dinner! Can you see what she is doing this weekend?"

"I can ask. No promises, but I will let you know," I said. My mother clapped her hands in joy.

"Your father will be so excited!" My mother said happily. She flitted off, and I was sure she was planning the details for the dinner. I'm glad her mood improved, but I didn't know if I shared in her joy over Ana meeting my family so soon. I sighed heavily as I went back to get ready for school. I just wanted to see Ana, and soon. My lips were burning for her kiss, and my body was yearning for her soft touches.


	9. Chapter 9: Chasing Cars

Chapter 9: Chasing Cars

-A/N- Sorry for the long pause between updates. I'm back to the full swing of grad school, and time is a precious commodity I don't always have the luxury of. I will try to update as much as I can, but school has to be my priority for now. Thank you so much for the support. Every follow, favorite, review and private message means so much to me. I couldn't do this without you all. Thank you so much! Much love!

-Disclaimer- None of this belongs to me. The "Fifty Shades" Trilogy belongs to the wonderful E.L. James. I'm just borrowing Christian and Ana for a bit. No infringement is intended.

* * *

-Ana's POV-

The gravel crunched under my feet as I walked up my driveway. I sighed happily; Christian was heavy on my mind today. I had only gotten to see him briefly during our interlude in the hallway.

_His lips grazed mine softly as I strained to reach him on my tiptoes. He tasted like peppermint in winter, and it was intoxicating. I moaned softly as I tousled my fingers through his unruly hair. "Ana," he whispered against my lips, my name a mantra spilling from his mouth. I moaned a breathy sigh as he deepened the kiss._

"_Christian, we have to go or we'll be late for class," I giggled as I kissed him again. _

"_Mhmm," he muttered as he backed me up against the locker. I felt the cold metal through my thin t-shirt. His hands warmed me up as he slipped a hand under my shirt, resting against my belly. I dug my fingers into his scalp as his hand travelled a bit further up my stomach, settling just at my naval._

_I broke the kiss momentarily to catch my breath, and he took the opportunity to run wet kisses along the column of my neck. Desire unfurled in my core, and I was once again breathless. _

_The loud screech of the warning bell made me jump, but it did not deter Christian. He captured my lips once again. In between kisses, he tried stringing a sentence together, but I was too enraptured by the silk of his kiss to notice._

_ Suddenly he stopped and looked at me expectantly. I tilted my head to the side, confused. "What?"_

_ "Didn't you hear a word I said?" Christian muttered._

_ "You were distracting me in a delicious way, so no," I said as I leaned in for another kiss. _

_ "My mother wants to meet you. She wants you to come to a family dinner soon…like sometime this weekend," Christian said._

_ I stopped leaning in for a kiss, and I was suspended in midair. "You told your mom about me?" I said in shock._

_ "Well, yeah…" he murmured. I was exhilarated. I launched myself at him once again and sprinkled kisses all over his face. He told his mom about us! This is getting serious!_

_ "Oh Christian!" I said happily. He smiled and gave me a soft, slow kiss. _

_ "Did you tell your parents about me?" He asked quietly. As I shook my head 'no,' he almost looked crestfallen._

_ "I'm sorry, Christian. It's just I want to tell my dad, well…step-dad Ray, first and I don't see him until next week," I tried to explain. Ever since my mom and I went through the hell her third husband put us through, our relationship has not mended fully yet. I keep her at a distance because she's still fragile._

_ He cracked a half-smile. "What if he doesn't approve of me?"_

_ "I approve of you, and that's all that matters," I said as I kissed him gently. The final bell screamed at us, and with a final kiss and long embrace, we finally had to leave each other's company. "I'd love to meet your family this weekend. Just let me know a time and place. See you later Christian."_

_ "Until next time, my sweet Anastasia," he said with a final kiss on my hand. My heart fluttered in my chest as I watched him retreat. _

It was hard to believe that it had only been about a week since we had started dating. He was so sweet; it was almost hard to believe the first time I saw him he was pummeling some poor fool. Despite the fight he was in when I first saw him and his display with Ethan, I had never seen any type of anger from him. As I approached my door, I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket; as I checked, I saw it was a text message from Kate.

*Hey Ana. What are you up to tonight?*

I quickly replied. *Not much Kate. I have to work on my essay for English, but other than that, probably nothing. Why?*

I unlocked my house and it was eerily quiet. My mom was still at work, and Bob was probably at the golf course since today was his day off. I threw my backpack down and went straight for the fridge. The after-school-hunger was plaguing me, and I needed a quick snack. I grabbed some leftover pasta from the previous night and put it in the microwave.

My phone buzzed again. It was Kate. *There's a party at my house tonight…it's all of Ethan's friends. I need some company. Want to come over?*

I quickly replied. *I don't think so, Kate. Parties really aren't my scene. Plus, if I don't watch Jeopardy, who will?*

*Please Ana? I don't want to be alone. We can watch Jeopardy here. Ethan's friends are all lame. I need someone cool. Please, please, please…pretty please?*

*I don't know, Kate. I really don't like parties.*

*PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE!*

*Fine. But I'm not drinking.*

*YES! Thanks Ana! You won't be disappointed! Be here by 8:00 pm sharp!*

I rolled my eyes wondering what I had gotten myself into. I didn't want to say no and upset Kate. Ever since the incident with Ethan was straightened out, I didn't want to put any more strain on one of the only friendships I had since moving here. Being the quiet library nerd didn't put me on the popular list, and I was okay with that.

I was eating when my phone went off again. I rolled my eyes expecting Kate again.

*Hello Ana. My mother has set dinner for Sunday afternoon about 4:00 pm. Just wanted to let you know.*

It was Christian. Even a text from him sent my heart into a spiraled fit. I hurriedly texted him back.

*Sounds great. I bet it'll be better than this day old spaghetti I'm eating.* I texted back.

*Sounds extravagant. I'm quite the accomplished cook. I could always come over and make you a nice bowl of ramen noodles. It would be the best bowl of noodles you've ever had. Or I can pour a mean bowl of cereal.*

I giggled at his message. He was silly at times, and I loved his sense of humor. I quickly texted him back. *The cereal sounds very tempting, but I will have to pass for tonight anyway. I have plans with Kate later, but maybe you could slip me some cereal this weekend at your mom's dinner?*

I was finishing up dinner and cleaning up as my phone went off again. *What are you doing with Kate?* I tensed up a bit as I got a sense of the undertone of the text. It almost seemed accusatory, and I was uncomfortable all of a sudden.

*She invited me over to hang out. Ethan is having a party with all his lame friends, and Kate didn't want to be by herself.*

Nearly as soon as the text was sent I had another one from Christian. *NO. You're not going to that party. Period. I don't want you anywhere near Ethan.*

*Christian, you're not my boss…you're my boyfriend. I'm going to hang out with a friend that I haven't seen that much since we started dating.*

*THE ANSWER IS NO, ANA. Ethan doesn't want to "hang out" with you. He's made that abundantly clear from his past actions.*

I was fuming. Who the hell did he think he was? I was fuming. He was so frustrating! Where did he get the idea that he could tell me what to do? We may have been dating but there was no way he was telling me what I could do and not do. *I CAN DO SHOUTY CAPITALS TOO, CHRISTIAN. I'M GOING. END OF STORY.*

I quickly texted Kate to tell her I was coming earlier, then I turned my phone off. Christian was not going to go all "control freak" on me. I threw my plate in the sink and went to my room to start getting ready.

My anger was still coursing through my veins. How dare he try and tell me what I could do! I grabbed my clothes and headed for the shower. _Damn you Christian Grey!_

* * *

As soon as I got to Kate's I could tell it was a party. The driveway was overflowing with cars and teenagers with red solo cups full of cheap booze. I recognized some people from various classes, but I was suddenly feeling very overwhelmed. _Maybe this was a mistake._

I weaved my way through throngs of unruly, noisy people and finally got through the front door. I was feeling so flabbergasted that I was immediately regretting coming to the party. I was about to turn around before Kate rushed towards me.

"ANA! So glad you made it! Isn't this great?" Kate gushed as she hugged me.

"Yeah, I don't think so, Kate. This really isn't my scene," I tried to say, but Kate was not having it.

"Nonsense. You're with me, and it will be a great time! Here, drink this! It's called 'jungle juice.' It'll loosen you up!" Kate slurred at me. She was already getting intoxicated, and I did not want to be a part of this whole mess.

"I can't drink, I've got to drive myself home," I told Kate over the blare of the music.

"It's Friday night! There's no school tomorrow! You can stay with me tonight! Have a girl's night!" Kate smiled at me.

I was still reluctant, but I did not really want to go back home to spend a lonely night at home. _What the hell._

I switched on my phone to text my mom that I was staying at Kate's tonight. "Alright, sounds like a plan." I was still reluctant, but being here with a friend was better than being at home tonight. I took a sip of the drink, and it wasn't half bad. I could tell it was potent, but I couldn't taste the alcohol. As my phone powered up, I saw I had several missed calls and texts. They were all from Christian.

*Please Ana. Don't go. I don't want you around that scumbag Ethan.*

*Ana, answer me. NOW.*

*Dammit all to hell, Ana. Please at least let me know you're okay.*

*ANASTASIA STEELE, SO HELP ME IF I HAVE TO COME TRACK YOU DOWN IN PERSON.*

*ANSWER MY DAMN TEXTS OR CALLS. SOMETHING.*

I rolled my eyes as I quickly texted him back. *At Kate's now. I'm still pissed at you. I'm staying the night tonight so I'll talk to you tomorrow.*

I called my mom and got her voicemail. I left a quick message giving her Kate's home phone number and address in case she needed to get ahold of me. I told her my phone was dying, but I was just turning it off. Christian was pissing me off. I couldn't understand why he was being so controlling all of a sudden. Yeah, I can understand him not wanting to be around Ethan, but after Christian scared the pants off him from the last encounter, Ethan has left us alone. Kate was rambling on about something, but I could barely hear her over the music. We made our way until we got to a table where a beer pong table was set up.

"Let's play, Ana. I've never had a good partner, and I always sucked. Maybe we'll be awesome at this!" Kate proposed as she took another swig of her drink.

"I am the most uncoordinated person in the world. I'd suck at this game," I warned. I took another sip of my drink, and I felt the warmth of the alcohol heating me up from the inside out.

Kate giggled as she muttered: "Well great, we can suck together!" And with that, I started to play my first game of beer pong.

I was starting to get dizzy from the alcohol. Kate and I were horrendous at beer pong, and we were feeling the effects of our losing streaks. I drank slowly, but I was still tipsier than I would have liked to admit. Kate and I were having a great time though. We were a bubbling mess of giggles and hysterical conversations. "ANA! I LOVE YOU!" Kate shouted as the next song came on.

"I LOVE YOU TOO, KATE!" I yelled back. We hugged briefly before doing a shot of alcohol. It tasted sour, and it carved a fiery path down my throat. I laughed again after hiccoughing on the drink. "What was that?"

"That my dearest Anastasia was called Jack Daniels!" Kate grinned at me. I laughed as I spun around joyously. I was having so much fun! My anxiety from earlier had melted, and now I was one of those cool party kids. I had noticed Ethan earlier, but he avoided me like the plague. Of that I was glad. He was with cozying up to some young blonde in a dark corner.

I was feeling bold, and as I turned my phone back on, I made up my mind to text Christian.

I had a few texts from him and a missed call from my mom. I ignored them all as I started texting him. *I don't like fighting with you. And I don't like you trying to control me. But I miss you right now and kind of wish you were here.* I sent the message, proud of myself for not being so overly drunk that I could not compose a text message.

My phone immediately buzzed. I looked up to Kate and saw she was dancing. She had some great moves in her drunken state. I smiled and laughed with her. She motioned for me to join her on the dance floor. I would never have danced sober; as I said earlier, I was the most uncoordinated person on planet earth, but my inhibitions were lowered, so dancing seemed like a viable option at the moment.

The music was pulsing so loudly that it took a hold of me. I was controlled by the beat as I danced in the growing crowd of people. Some techno beat blared as I started to really move. I couldn't dance to save my life, but at this point I didn't care. The alcohol was giving me a red badge of courage, and I was a live wire in the moment. I was trying to keep up with Kate, but she was going, and there was no stopping her. So I closed my eyes and let the music take me away into its melodious medley.

I felt hands on my hips, and I spun to see grey eyes burning into mine. Christian had come to the party! I was surprised, but I was so excited that I practically jumped into his arms. He lifted me with ease into a bear hug. I was enveloped by his warmth and scent, and it was a heady combination with the warming haze the alcohol created. He spun me around in a semi-circle, and held me close as we swayed to the music. I couldn't get close enough to him.

"Christian," I whispered as I leaned into his embrace. I ran my hands up his strong back, reveling in the strength that I felt there. His hands were resting at my hips, and I pulled his head down to kiss me. It was a soft peck at first. I pulled back to see his eyes darkening to a molten grey lava.

"You've been drinking," he whispered. There was a dangerous edge to his voice, and had I not been under the influence of liquid courage, I would have feared it.

"Shut up and kiss me," I whispered as I leaned up to kiss him again. He tried to resist, and I could tell he was still angry. I was unrelenting in my pursuit, and he finally yielded to me. The kisses became more intense, and he pushed me against the nearest wall. There we were in our own world in the midst of the raving dancers. The room was dark enough that we went unnoticed, or maybe it was that everyone else was too caught up in their moment to notice ours. Either way, I did not care. I just needed Christian in the worst way.

He captured my bottom lip and bit down hard. Everything in my belly contracted, and I felt the desire pool deep in my core.

"Christ Ana, you taste so fucking good," Christian muttered before deepening the kiss. I had to have more of him. "I could take you over my knee for going to a party and getting drunk, but right now I just want to bite your lip," he muttered. He bit my bottom lip softly, and I stopped kissing him momentarily to drag him off to a more secluded destination. I pulled on him impatiently as I made my way out to my car. I was fumbling with my keys before he stopped me.

"No, this way," he said. He quickly took me in the opposite direction. We were going through a sea of cars before I saw the one he was taking me to. It was an SUV. "More room," Christian smiled salaciously at me.

He unlocked the doors and hurriedly threw the seats down. He crawled in, and I followed suit. As soon as I closed the door, he was on me. He was suddenly becoming all-consuming. I reached for his t-shirt and ripped it off as quickly as I could. He stalled momentarily as I saw his scars illuminated in the sliver of moonlight. Before he could react I reached for him. I gently caressed his face as I kissed him. He wasn't angry at me anymore. At least not right now. He was feeling the same thing I was, and it was the primary emotion controlling his body, urging it into action.

"Christian," was all I could moan before he tugged my t-shirt over my head. I was left in my long sleeve shirt. He ripped that off before I could do anything, and threw it somewhere in his car. He was towering over me and started kissing me once again. I started to lie down, pulling him with me. He rested comfortably between my legs, and we resumed our heavy kissing. We were all lips, teeth, and tongue. The atmosphere between us was heavy with electricity, and his touch was scorching my skin.

"You taste so good, Ana," he said as his lips moved lower down my jaw and onto my neck. He was leaving wet kisses in his wake. My chest was heaving rapidly, and I couldn't contain my moan as he reached my bra. His hand was on my breast before I knew what was happening. He gingerly began to knead my left breast through the thin fabric of my bra.

"Oh, oh," was all the vocabulary I could muster. I was on fire in the most delicious way. My nipple was hardening under Christian's exploring fingers. He pulled the fabric aside, and paused.

"Ana, are you sure about this? You've had a lot to drink. I don't want you to regret this," Christian said tightly.

"Christian, please. I'm not that drunk. I know what we're doing," I panted. Then I felt his hot mouth encompass my breast.

"CHRISTIAN!" I moaned loudly. He hummed low and husky, and the vibration reverberated through my entire being. I was on fire, and the heat was racing through my veins. I could only focus on the feeling of his mouth—the hot heat and the feelings it was eliciting from me.

"More, Christian, please," was all I could get out. I felt a tension in my stomach, and I felt like I needed more touch, more contact, more _something. _Whether it was my desire talking or the alcohol guiding me, I wasn't sure. All I knew was I needed him badly. I laced my fingers through his hair, holding him in place. I felt his hand creep up my thigh, and it stopped right before the junction of my thighs. His hand was resting there, and my hips started gyrating uncontrollably, wanting more contact.

"No, Ana. I can't. You're drunk, and I wouldn't be able to control myself," Christian gasped as he laid his head on my heaving chest. He must have heard my racing heart and my exasperated sigh.

I took the situation into my own hands. I unbuttoned my jeans and slid them down my hips. "Please Christian. I need you, and I need you NOW!"

"Fuck Ana, I don't want to lose control with you. Especially with you not being sober!" Christian practically yelled.

"You won't Christian, I trust you," I whispered as I kissed him again. He moaned into my mouth and I felt his hands cup my panties.

"You're too much to take, Ana," Christian said. He moved my panties to the side and let his trembling fingers explore me. I gasped as my back arched. I felt the most amazing sensation as Christian clumsily explored me.

Christian let out a shuddering moan, and I felt the hot air on my neck as he rested his head on my shoulder. "You're so wet, Ana. So fucking wet," he whispered hotly.

My belly contracted at his words, and I felt a new wave of need sweep over me. Christian's fingers were inexperienced, and I was so glad. I was so nervous because I was a virgin, but knowing Christian didn't have much experience really helped calm my stuttering nerves. He skirted his fingers over my clitoris, almost accidentally, but I suddenly keened a high pitch sound and arched under him.

I felt him smile against my neck, and he kept working around the sensitive spot. His fingers were gaining confidence, and I felt him growing harder against my leg. "Christian," I moaned. I felt something deep in my belly. It felt like a tight coil, and it was wrapping around me faster and faster. I was breathing heavier, and I felt my toes curl against my shoes. My whole body was tightening in response to his touch. He bent down and took my nipple in his mouth, and that sent me over the edge. I felt the coil snap, and everything was released. I felt like I was falling, and everything was contracting around me. It was the most amazing feeling in the world, and I wanted more of it.

As I was recovering from the surprisingly strong orgasm, I realized I was pulling Christian's hair tightly, and I let go as quickly as I could. I was suddenly so tired that I couldn't keep my eyes open. The dizzying effects of my orgasm coupled with the alcohol sapped all my strength.

Christian was breathing heavily against my chest. He pulled his fingers away from me, and I immediately missed the warmth they provided. I watched with droopy eyes as he put his fingers in his mouth, apparently savoring my taste. "You taste amazing, Ana," he said. He grabbed my shirt and helped me get it back on as I struggled to pull my pants up.

"What about you?" I murmured sleepily as I motioned to his impressive bulge.

"Don't worry about that. Go to sleep, Ana," he said. He grabbed his shirt and rolled it up and put it under my head. He pulled a small throw blanket out from the front seat and wrapped me up. I was so warm and sleepy.

"But I'm not sleepy," I yawned, trying to keep the sleepiness at bay.

"Yes you are. You are still drunk, and if anything else is to happen between us, I expect you to be sober. Go to sleep Anastasia, and I'll see you in the morning," he said. I felt him wrap his arm around me, and the last thing I remember is feeling his lips on my cheek and him whispering something in my ear. I couldn't quite make it out, but it sounded like he was saying something about catching him.


	10. Chapter 10: And Just Forget the World

-Disclaimer- I think it's obvious at this point I don't own any part of the Fifty Shades Trilogy. I'm just borrowing them for a bit! All rights go to the wonderful E.L. James. There is no copy right infringement intended!

-A/N- So sorry for the long pause between updates. Again, graduate school is demanding (so much like our CG, but not nearly as much fun!). For all the favorites/follows/reviews…THANK YOU! Much love to the readers. Without you, I'd never make it through writing this. And a special thanks to Pielietje, a most dedicated reader! I love getting your reviews and messages! They are often the push I need to update again, and your kind words mean so much! To all the readers, you all mean so much! Well, enough rambling! Here is the next chapter!

* * *

Chapter 10: And Just Forget the World

-Christian POV-

The sun was unusually bright as I woke up this morning. My body ached as I stretched, but I stopped as I felt a warm, delicate body next to me. I looked down to see my sweet Ana sleeping. Last night came rushing on me before I could process it all. _Her disobeying me…my full-blown anger…blowing up her cell phone…her text telling me she wanted to see me…the taste of the bitter alcohol as she kissed me…the feel of her underneath me…the feel of her wet and willing against my fingers. _

_FUCK! _I wanted nothing more than to take her over my knee for going to Ethan's and getting drunk. She didn't listen to me, and that was what bothered me the most. I was telling her what to do to keep her safe. That fucker Ethan was already barking after her. How stupid could she be? Did she not even think about her safety?

I took a second to study her features. She was a goddess, and she was lying next to me. _Grey, you're a lucky bastard. _Her soft lips were parted slightly as she softly snored. Her hair was splayed out in a halo around her head. Her nose sloped down gently. Anastasia was beautiful, and somehow she had feelings for me. I almost dreaded her waking up…what if she didn't remember what we did? Or worse—what if she did and regretted it?

I was still in those moments, contemplating what my next step would be. I couldn't get the images from last night out of my head. She was so bold in her drunken state, and it turned me on. I could still taste her tangy musk on my lips. The speed at which the physical part of our relationship was moving was alarming, but I didn't want it to stop. I had never been with anyone intimately, and this was a new feeling. It overwhelmed me in its entirety. Anastasia Steele was a different breed of woman, and I was not sure if I could handle her.

I checked my phone, and it was 7:45 am. It was still early, but I had to text my mom to let her know I was okay. She had worked late last night, and I had texted her telling her I was going to check on Ana at a party.

I reread her last message: *Christian, please be careful. Make sure Anastasia is okay, and text me if you're going to be any later than midnight.*

_Shit! My mother is going to skin me alive. She'll be so pissed! _I hurried up and dialed her number. She answered on the second ring.

"Christian! I was so worried! Is everything okay?" my mother said as her voice hitched in what sounded like nervousness.

"I'm sorry, mother. When I got here, Ana was pretty drunk, so she fell asleep and I couldn't leave her. I was so distracted by keeping an eye on her I forgot to call or text. Please don't be angry," I pleaded desperately. The last thing I needed was her to be angry, or worse—disappointed, in me.

"I'm just glad everything is okay. I almost called the police! I am just glad everything is okay with Anastasia. She's lucky you were there to prevent anyone from taking advantage of her," my mother said. My gut clenched as I realized I took advantage of her. She was drunk, and I let things go too far. I hung my head in a silenced shame. I couldn't tell my mother what happened. _Fucking hell, Grey. You're really fucking this one up. _

As horrible as I felt, I couldn't get the feel of her against my fingers and her moaning for more out of my head. I had no fucking clue what I was doing, but she seemed to enjoy it. Fuck, I remember tasting her after. She was an elixir, and I needed more of her. With one taste I was hooked.

As I was lost in my thoughts of hot skin and whimpering moans, Ana started to stir beside me.

"Hmm, where am I?" Ana asked sleepily. Her eyes squinted in the bright sunlight. My stomach clenched in fear. _She's going to dump your ass for taking advantage of her!_

"You're in my car. By the time I got here, you were already drunk," I say sternly. Despite my anguish over her possible anger, I was still pissed off that she had put herself in harm's way last night. How could she have been so irresponsible?

Her face was paling, and her eyes closed she gently squeezed the bridge of her nose. "I shouldn't have gotten drunk last night," she muttered.

"How are you feeling?" I asked as I searched my car for a bottle of water. I chastise myself for not being more prepared. She's probably dehydrated, and I don't have anything for her.

"Better than I deserve," she said. She sat up, and stilled my searching hands. Her wide bright-blue stare pierced me. She looked earnest, and I was stock still.

I was expecting the worst. She was going to dump me for taking things too far last night. She was going to call the cops…her mom…her step-dad. I knew I was fucking done for.

With my mental ramblings fearing the worst, I was completely caught off guard when she leaned forward and gently kissed me. My body was heating up at the simple kiss. The effect she had on me was breathtaking. Just a simple touch and I'm a live wire. She pulled back, and I was awarded with a blazing smile.

"Thank you for taking care of me, Christian. I can't believe I ended up drinking last night, but here you are…my dark knight…here to save the day once again," Ana said breathlessly. She caressed my face once again before giving another chaste kiss.

"You can't do stupid things like that, Ana. I was so worried," I whispered before returning the kiss.

"Christian, you can't control me. Please, let's not fight about this now, I still feel like crap," Ana said. I sighed as I drew her into my arms. She melted into my chest, and I laid my cheek on the top of her head. We were like this for minutes, and the silence that stretched before us was a tense one.

She mumbled something that I couldn't quite make out. Ana looked up at me with her beautiful blue eyes, and I felt like she _could_ see right through me.

"I'll catch you Christian. Don't worry," she whispered. My world had stilled at her words. I remembered what I had said before we both fell asleep.

_"But I'm not sleepy," Ana said, yawning. I could hear the sleep starting to etch in her voice. I settled in behind her, wrapping my arms around her middle. Her yawn was contagious as I started feel tired from the long day. _

_"Yes you are. You are still drunk, and if anything else is to happen between us, I expect you to be sober. Go to sleep Anastasia, and I'll see you in the morning," I told her as I felt her breathing even out. I kissed her cheek and whispered: "You'll have to catch me Ana, because I'm falling faster and faster." _

She had heard, and she was going to catch me. My heart skipped a few beats, and her words had a paralyzing effect on me. I took her face in my hands and kissed her, and I hoped I was pouring everything I couldn't say into that kiss. My lips were buzzing as she moaned into my mouth.

We both pulled away, searching for air in our heaving chests. "Do you regret last night?" I asked quickly, dreading the answer.

"I may have been a little drunk Christian, but I knew what I was doing. I wanted it, and I don't regret it. Not in the slightest," she said with bated breath.

I smiled brightly. My dread was dissipating, and my Ana was gazing at me with her bottomless blues. She was beacon of hope—the one real thing I had to hold on to. _She'll catch me…she'll catch me…she'll catch me. _God, it was a mantra I couldn't stop repeating. I wasn't alone, and she was feeling the same thing I was. The emotions were nameless, but infinite. I felt like my chest was expanding and where the void used to be was filling with a warm and whispering wish, and Ana was fulfilling it. My deepest desire was waking up.

"Well, I'm sure you're hungry and dehydrated. Let's go get you breakfast," I said as I got out of my SUV. I helped her out of the car, and I noticed how she was squinting at the bright light and favoring her head. "Feeling that hangover?"

"Shut up. You were right…I do regret drinking, and I think I need food," Ana mumbled as she swatted at me.

"I like the sound of that. You need to eat more anyway," I said. I fixed the back seats, and held the passenger side door open for Ana. She smiles graciously at me as she got into the car. I followed suit, and we were off to a little breakfast diner that I loved.

We pulled into Ed's Diner; it was in the middle of nowhere-Seattle. It was obscure, but it had a steady stream of patrons that helped keep it open. My dad and I would come here when he wanted quality time with me. Ana looked at me skeptically, and I could only smile at her.

"I know it looks seedy Ana, but I swear it's great! I love this place. It has the best omelets in all of Seattle!" I exclaimed.

"Whatever you say, Christian," she said as if trying to placate me. I opened the door and let her in first. I grabbed my usual spot in the corner, and we waited for our waitress. An older lady named Sally came over to us.

"Christian! So good to see you again! I'm surprised you're not with your father! Who is this lovely young lassie?" Sally said with a kind smile.

"This is my girlfriend, Anastasia. We were hungry and I thought the best place would be to come here. This is my favorite, and I thought Ana would like it too," I said.

"Hi Sally! It's so nice to meet you!" Ana said with a small wave.

"Alright dearies, what can I start you off with to drink?" Sally asked.

"Two coffees please," I said.

"Actually make that one coffee. Do you have English breakfast tea?" Ana asked.

"We sure do sweetie. I will bring both right out!" Sally said.

"Breakfast tea?" I asked incredulously.

"It's my favorite. I only drink coffee when I have to, but I really prefer the tea," Ana said as she glanced at the menu.

After a few minutes, Sally returned with our drinks. "What it'll be? Christian, your usual?"

"Yes, please. Omelet with mushrooms, bacon, and sausage and a side of home fries," I said. I always have the same thing since I was young.

"I will have eggs sunny side up, bacon, white toast and home fries with sausage gravy please!" Ana said.

"Coming right up darlings," Sally said.

"I love a girl with an appetite," I said. She was far too thin anyway, and I was glad to see her eating.

"I can definitely eat my weight in food!" Ana exclaimed with a giggle. I loved the sound of her giggling…carefree and happy. We have each had our trials and tribulations, and it was amazing to see how resilient Ana was.

Sally brought our food, and we ate in an amicable silence. We made small talk for a bit, but the comforting void of conversation stretched on. Sally finally brought the bill when we were finished. I was grabbing my wallet to pay, but Ana had already snatched the bill from me.

"Hey!" I cried out indignantly. She smiled at me and left enough cash on the table to cover the bill and leave a generous tip. I was slightly put off, and I think it was my ego that was suffering the most.

"Don't 'hey' me! I am a strong, independent woman. If I want to pay for our date, I am going to," she explained.

"But Ana, I asked you to come here, so I should pay!" I said.

"Oh well, too bad. You can get the bill next time!" Ana said.

"How're you feeling?" I asked, and I decided to let go of the whole who-paid-what-bill thing.

"Much better. Thank you for taking care of me last night and this morning," she said. Before we got to my car, she stopped and gave me a chaste kiss. "I really appreciate it. Especially since you came to my rescue. I am sorry I drank last night. It was definitely against my better judgment."

"Next time I ask you not to do something, please at least consider it. Ethan was at that damn party last night, and the night could have ended very differently," I warned. I shuddered at the possibility of what could have happened.

"Well you saved me, and the night ended perfectly," she said with a blazing smile.

"Yeah, it did," I said. I nearly groaned at the memory of us together last night. _Not now Grey! You can get a fucking erection outside! Control your shit, now!_

"Well, I have to go home and face my mother…she called me last night and I didn't answer. Plus I have to charge my phone so I can talk to Kate. I'm not sure if she knew I left with you, so I'm sure she is worried," Ana said.

I just nodded, still stuck in the memory of last night. I wanted to taste her, make her scream with my mouth on her. I wanted to love her, soothe all the pains of her past away. Make her forget everything in this sick, sad world except for me.

Before I knew it, I had driven back to Kate's house. I was in a reverie, and it was a beautiful daydream. I dropped her off at her so-called car. I still worried that the thing would fall apart with the whisper of the wind, but Ana was confident about it.

"Well Christian, thanks for an amazing night together. It was our first, and though I wish it was under better circumstances…aka me not being a drunken idiot…I don't regret it. And it will be the first of many nights together. I will see you soon," Ana says. She leans over to me and plasters a red hot kiss full or fiery promise on me. I am almost too stunned to return it, but I try my best.

"See you later tonight?" I say hopefully.

"Definitely. I just need to face the mother creature," Ana said with a joyous laugh. God, I could listen to her laugh all day.

"If you need me, call me. How about a movie night tonight? We can do your place or mine," I offered.

"Your place. My mother will probably be zoned out watching her stories on the DVR tonight," Ana smiled. I got one more kiss before she left.

"See you tonight my sweet Ana," I whispered as she left. I watched her get in her old VW Beetle and drive away. I leaned my head against the seat and tried to process the events that just occurred over the past twelve hours.


	11. Chapter 11: Kiss Me

-Disclaimer- I wish I owned the rights to this beautiful saga, but alas I do not. E.L. James is the wonderful maker of this world, so all credit is to her! No copyright infringement is intended. I just want to borrow the wonderful characters for a bit! Also, there are references and lyrics used from Ed Sheeran's "Kiss Me" (amazing song by the way), and I do not own any rights to this song!

-A/N- Sorry for the long pause between updates. I just finished with finals and my first year of grad school. I have no classes for the summer, so I will have lots of time for updates. I will hopefully finish this story and start on the sequel (I already have several ideas!). Thanks so much for all the support. Thanks for all the favorites, follows, reviews, and private messages! I know I go a long time between updates sometimes, and I appreciate you all sticking it out with me! I reread the Fifty Shades trilogy to get back into the writing of this story. Now, I'm going to be quiet, because y'know you're here for the next chapter! Enjoy. Reviews are love, and always appreciated!

* * *

Chapter 11: Kiss Me Like You Want to Be Loved

-Ana POV-

I drove Wanda to my house. I was grinning from ear to ear. Christian and I had gone farther than I would have ever expected last night, but it was amazing. I could still fill the fantastic fumbling of his fingers as he clumsily explored me. I bit my lips and nearly moaned out loud as my core clenched deliciously. I knew how inexperienced I was, and Christian was in a very similar place. My happiness was only tainted by the inevitable confrontation with my mother. My phone died last night, and I did not let her know I was okay. I sighed heavily; our relationship has still been strained since the husband from hell. We never did work through our issues, and I was too scared to bring them up because of how fragile she had been.

I shut my car door with a heavy resignation. I walked up to my door and opened it quietly, hoping my mother was still asleep. The house was eerily quiet, but I saw Ray sitting in my living room. Worry creased his forehead, and he had his head in his hands. His head snapped up when he heard the door.

"Carla! She's here! Ana's back!" Ray shouted to my mother. Before I could even close the door, Ray had me in a suffocating hug. "Good God, Ana! You had us so worried!"

"I'm sorry daddy. I stayed at my friends, and my phone died before I could talk to mom again," I tried to explain. I couldn't tell him I was really in the backseat of Christian's car doing lewd and lascivious things.

My mom came rushing toward us. She had a stern look on her face, and I knew I was in big trouble. Dread settled like a heavy weight in my stomach, and I began bracing myself for the onslaught.

"ANASTASIA ROSE STEELE! WHERE WERE YOU? YOU HAD ME SO WORRIED!" My mother shouted at me as tears sprung to her eyes.

"I ended up staying at Kate's last night. I texted you before my phone died. By the time I realized I was staying, my phone was dying and I couldn't call you," I mumbled as my anger began to swell.

"I called you multiple times! Why couldn't you use your friend's phone?" My mom shouted at me accusingly.

"Because mom, I thought a text would be sufficient. This is the first time since we moved here that I found a real friend. I should have called you, but I was having fun. I haven't had this much of a normal time since all that crap happened last year. I thought I deserved a normal, teenage night," I spat out. I felt horrible for bringing up the dark times with Steven, but I was not going to be chastised for trying to do something normal after the hell I've been through.

My mother's face paled, and she averted her eyes. I saw the glint of a tear forming in her eye, but she hurriedly wiped it away. We never really talked about this; I tried to forget it happened, and my mother was also in a blatant denial.

"Alright, let's just stop it here," Ray cut in. "Annie, can you please try to call both your mother and me next time you plan to stay out all night? We were worried."

I sighed giving in. My mother walked away, and didn't say another word about it. I hated making her angry or upset, but part of the pain I held inside was because there was no closure with the situation. I couldn't talk to my mother to process any of it, and I kept it bottled up. The only person outside the immediate family who knew was Christian. I had been through hell, and yes I survived, but the pain was still there. The emotional scars were so much than the physical ones.

"I'm sorry Ray. I honestly did not think it would be such a big deal. I just haven't had any contact with other people my age outside of school. Well, except Christian," I said. Ray's eyes got bigger, and I realized what I had said.

"Who is Christian?" Ray snapped at me.

"Sorry dad. He's this amazing guy from school I've been seeing. He's a senior, but he's really nice. I didn't tell mom yet because I wanted to tell you first," I said softly.

Ray's demeanor changed. His anger diminished, and his eyes softened. He gave me an awkward half-hug with a sad smile. "My baby girl is growing up. I hate to admit that you've grown into a beautiful young lady because a part of me will always see you as my little girl. I guess I was lucky you haven't started dating till now. So, tell me about this Christian."

"He had a rough start to life, and was adopted at age 4 I believe. He had a lot of issues with acting out and fighting all the time because of the stuff he went through when he was younger, but since we found each other, he's stopped all the brawling. He's amazing, daddy. He's really sweet…a perfect gentleman. I think you'd like him," I gushed.

"Well, I'm glad he's not fighting anymore. That's not the kind of relationship I'd want for you, Annie. I'm glad you found someone, sweetie. I'd like to meet him soon, see if he's worthy of my baby girl," Ray said with a smile.

I blushed at his words. "Okay. Can we have a family dinner at your house then? I'm not sure I'm ready for mom to meet him yet."

"Annie, that's not fair to your mother. But it is your decision. Just let me know when he's coming around and I'll make sure to order something good. Unless you want to come over and cook," Ray said with a wink. He didn't cook, at least not very well.

I hugged Ray tightly. He was my rock throughout this entire ordeal through the last year, and I loved him so. "I know dad. It's just we haven't been the same since everything that happened when we were living with Steven. Mom and I cannot have a civilized conversation if I bring it up. I'm still so hurt over it, and she won't even acknowledge it. It's like she's in perpetual denial."

"Annie, everyone deals with things differently. It's a hard thing, and I can't speak for her, but if you need to talk about it, I'm here. I can take you to a counselor if you need to. Whatever you need, Ana," Ray said, and it nearly brought tears to my eyes.

"Thanks dad," was all I could manage to say. I was overwhelmed with emotion. I hugged him one more time, and then made my way to my room. My mom was in the kitchen, staring out the window. I couldn't even look at her, let alone say anything else to her. I know I'm not an adult yet, but I am a responsible teen. I've never done anything to step out of line. I spend one night at a friend's house, and it's the end of the world. I go to my room, and close the door. I'm suddenly exhausted and want to do nothing more than sleep. I quickly change out of last night's clothes, throw on some sweats and a t-shirt, and collapse on my bed. Visions of sensual grey eyes, heated touches, and stolen kisses swirl around my mind before I fall asleep.

* * *

I was forced to wake up from my peaceful slumber filled with delicious dreams of Christian Grey when I had to use the restroom. My body ached from my awkward sleeping position, and it protested as I began to stretch. After using the restroom, I checked the time. It was after 4:30 pm. _Wow, I slept forever! _I hurried up and texted Christian to see if we were still doing a movie night or if I would be home alone with Jane Austen tonight.

*Hey you! Are we still having movie night tonight?*

Christian texted me back. *Of course. You couldn't get out of it if you tried, Ana! Can you be here around 6pm or so? Also, I'm ordering pizza. Do you want any special kind of toppings or anything?*

I smiled as I typed back my response. *I'm a meat lover type of girl, so anything with pepperoni, bacon, or sausage sounds great. I can be there by 6 no problem.*

*Awesome! You really are my type of girl, Ana! Meat lovers special it is then. That's my favorite too. Do you want me to come pick you up? I don't know if I trust that car of yours.*

I was affronted at his comment about Wanda. She may not be the prettiest, but she was reliable. *No thanks, Christian. Wanda and I go way back, and she's a great little car. Just give me your address and I'll find it. Thanks.*

Christian's next text was apologetic. *I'm sorry, Ana. Please don't be mad at me! I worry about your safety, that's all.*

*It's okay. I'm going to take a shower and get ready. Just give me your address, and I'll see you soon.* I set my phone down, and hurried to take a shower.

My phone buzzed as I was getting ready. It was Christian replying.*Alright Ana. You have a choice between "Pulp Fiction," "Million Dollar Baby," or "Fight Club."*

I quickly texted him back. *We're supposed to be having a romantic night. Nothing with hearts and flowers?*

Christian's response was almost instantaneous. *Well, I have plenty of those because that's all Mia watches. But these are the titles I have with the longest running time. The longer the movie is, the more time I have with you.*

I nearly melted at his words. I was grinning so hard my face was hurting. Christian knew exactly what to say to make me swoon. _Oh Christian, you are so sweet! _I texted him back. *You're so sweet sometimes, Mr. Grey. How about you choose? I'm almost ready, so I'll be on my way. See you soon. XOX*

I settled on my best jeans and a nice sweater. The sweater was a light wool and cashmere blend that Ray had bought me last Christmas for special occasions. It was a light turquoise, and it really complimented my eyes and flattered what little curves I had. I swept my hair up in a casual ponytail, and took off.

"Mom, I'm heading out. I'm going to a friend's house. If you need me, I'll have my phone," I called out. She still hadn't spoken to me since the confrontation earlier. I decided to leave her a note in the kitchen just in case. I was feeling bad about my reaction earlier, but it wasn't as if I could apologize because she wasn't speaking to me at the moment. I sighed as I scrawled my note. I grabbed my car keys, cell phone, and purse and left the house.

* * *

I drove up the sloping hill to Christian's house. It was gorgeous; I knew from the address that it was located in a ritzy neighborhood. His house was much bigger than his neighbors'. I felt almost foolish parking my dilapidated Wanda next to the nice cars in the driveway. I got out of the car, anxious. I did not even think of meeting his family—I was so set on just seeing Christian. _Oh no…what if they hate me? I should have dressed nicer, something! _My heart was in my throat, and my stomach was swimming in nerves. I rang the doorbell, and was bracing for the worst.

I was so relieved and pleasantly surprised when Christian answered the door. He was all smiles. He looked breathtaking in a simple white t-shirt and faded jeans. He was barefoot, and boy did he look amazing. He was so devastatingly handsome, and my breath hitched every time I looked at him.

"I'm glad you found it okay, Ana. Come on in," he said. I walked in nervously, still waiting for his family to pounce.

"It's just you and me tonight. My mom has the night shift at the hospital, and my dad is staying late at his office because he's working on a big case. Elliot is at a party, and thankfully, Mia is at a sleepover with some friends. This couldn't have worked out better!" Christian said joyously.

"Have something in mind that you didn't want your family around for?" I said breathlessly.

His eyes darkened to a sexy slate color, and he smiled that irresistible half-smile at me. "I just want you all to myself as long as I can have you, Ana. Once my family meets you and sees how amazing you are, they'll never leave you alone."

I smiled back at him. "I did get a chance to tell Ray about you today. He's excited to meet you."

Christian flashed his brilliant smile at me, and my heart once again skipped a beat. _How could a simple smile from him turn me into jelly every time? _ He grabbed my hand and led me up the stairs. "I'll give you a tour later."

We came to the second floor, and soon we were up another flight of steps. _Wow, such a big house! _When we arrived on the third floor, he opened up a white door. "This is my room," he said with a shy smile. The room was large, and in its vastness, it had little furniture. There was something almost clinical about the room—the walls were bathed in white, as was the furniture. There was a double bed with rumpled bedding, a desk and chair with an impressive computer on it, a dresser with a television on top of it, and shelves. The shelves had various books on them, but I noticed several trophies, and they looked like they were for kickboxing.

I smiled as I walked over and took down one of the trophies. "I didn't know you kickboxed. That's what this is for right?"

"Yeah! Good observation, Ana. My mother's mantra for her children's success is 'musical instrument, language, martial art.' I play the piano, know a bit of French, and started with kickboxing when I was younger. It was a great way for me to get all my aggression out," Christian said.

I looked around the room and took note of all the posters. He had movie posters for _The Matrix, Fight Club, and the Truman Show. _"I see why you wanted to watch 'Fight Club' tonight. Seems like you're a fan," I said.

"It's a great movie. Have you ever seen it?" He asked me.

"No, I haven't," I said as I went over to the framed posters of famous kickboxers. One was named Guiseppe DeNatale, and I noticed that this poster had an autograph sprawled across it. "I have no idea who this is, but you have his autograph. That's pretty cool."

"It was a birthday present. Definitely one of my favorites. Well, since you haven't seen 'Fight Club' and it's one of my favorites, we'll watch that. It has Brad Pitt and Edward Norton in it—it's a classic," Christian said with a smile.

"Okay, sounds good," I said. I slipped my Chucks off and sat on the edge of his bed, unsure of what to do next.

"The pizza should be here in a bit," Christian said as he turned his television on. He was flipping through his movies, and I was suddenly consumed by the enormity of where I was. Here I was, in his bedroom. It was just us…no parents, no siblings. My heart hitched in my chest at all the possibilities. My mind flashed back to last night in the back of his car. I had liquid courage last night when I tested the boundaries of our physical relationship, and I craved more, but I was so nervous. We had only known each other a short time, but the way he made me feel last night was amazing.

He turned around and flopped on his bed, causing me to bounce. I giggled, and he smiled at me. That shy smile always gave me butterflies. "Come on up here, make yourself comfortable," Christian said as he arranged some pillows for me. I made my way up to him, and cuddled into his side. He wrapped his arm around me, and grabbed the remote to turn on the movie. Just as I was getting comfortable, we heard the faint buzz of the doorbell.

"Fucking hell. It figures when I get you in my bed we'd be interrupted," Christian said as he got out of the bed. He started toward the door, and then turned on the spur of his hell to come back to the bed. He gently caressed my cheek and gave me a chaste kips on my lips. "I'll be back."

I didn't think he could get any sweeter, but I was proven wrong once again. Christian was by far the sweetest boy I had ever met. Underneath that tough façade he portrayed was a hidden gem of a man. He made my heart race, and when he looked at me with those grey eyes, my veins coursed with desire. He came back up not too much later with a big box, plates, and napkins.

"You're always prepared, aren't you?" I asked him. He smirked at me.

"I am always prepared, Ana. At least I try to be. I like control, and being prepared gives me a certain measure of control," Christian said. He set the pizza on the stand by his bed, and we dug in. It smelled delicious, and I realized how famished I was; I had not eaten since our breakfast date this morning. I grabbed a big piece, and devoured it quickly. Christian looked at me with barely contained mirth, and handed me another slice.

"Thanks!" I said as I started to eat the second slice. I slowed down because I knew I would get overly full, and end up feeling sick and bloated. Christian polished off four slices in total. I was feeling full and almost sleepy. Christian and I settled down and started watching "Fight Club."

"Hey Ana, wake up," I heard Christian mumble. I opened my eyes, dazed. I looked around and saw that I was still in his room. "You fell asleep about halfway through, and I didn't want to wake you. The movie's over."

"I'm sorry Christian. I was a lot more tired than I thought I was," I said as I stretched languidly against his body.

"Well, I can rewind it if you'd like," Christian said. I shook my head no.

"Actually, let's listen to some music. I know just the song. Can I look it up on your computer?" I asked him. He smiled at me, giving me the go-ahead. My heart was pounding in my chest, and I was so nervous. I heard this song a few days ago, and it nearly made my world stop. It was the perfect song for Christian and me, and I wanted nothing more than to dance with him. Without the distraction of the movie, I figured it was now or never. I quickly pulled up YouTube, and I looked up Ed Sheeran's "Kiss Me." _Well Steele, here goes nothing. _With a deep breath, I pressed play.

The soft strum of the guitar filled the room, and I was already gently swaying to the song. Something took over my body then. I was all nerves, and then a gentle calm seduced me into relaxation. I turned shyly towards Christian, unsure of his reaction. I walked toward him, and held out my hand for him.

_Settle down with me. Cover me up. Cuddle me in. _The lyrics were soft at first, accompanied by the sensual sound of the guitar. I pulled Christian up, and he was all wide-eyes and gaping mouth. "Dance with me," was all I could manage out. He stood up rather awkwardly, but gathered me in his arms. I was flush against him, and I could hear his hammering heart hurrying in his chest. He was unsure of this as well, but was willing to try.

_ Lie down with me, and hold me in your arms. And your heart's against my chest. Your lips pressed to my neck. I'm falling for your eyes, but they don't know me yet. _We start to move in an awkward pattern, each unsure of the other's next move. I released a bated breath I wasn't aware I was holding. I began to relax into his embrace, and I felt like I was home. I placed my hand gently on his shoulder, and held his hand with my other one. His other hand was on my lower back, and he pressed me closer, cradling me gently. I rested my head gently on his chest, and he rested his cheek on the top of my head.

_And with a feeling I'll forget, I'm in love now. Kiss me like you want to be loved…you want to be loved…you want to be loved. This feels like falling in love…falling in love…we're falling in love. _There we were…two young teens in the middle of his bedroom, dancing away. There was no rhyme or reason for this sweet interlude. We were living in this moment, accompanied by the sweet sounds of the song, guided by our feelings for each other, drifting closer and closer. We were growing more comfortable with each other, and with an easy grace neither of us knew we possessed, we began to set a natural rhythm in our dancing.

_Settle down with me, and I'll be your safety. You'll be my lady. I was made to keep your body warm, but I'm cold as the wind blows, so hold me in your arms. _"I'll always protect you, Anastasia," Christian murmured as we swayed across his room. I smiled against the soft material of his shirt, and he surprised me by spinning me around under his arm. I giggled, and he smiled back at me. He brought me back to his safe embrace. We continued to dance through his bedroom, steered by the soft crooning of Ed Sheeran.

_ Oh no, my heart's against your chest. Your lips pressed to my neck. I'm falling for your eyes, but they don't know me yet. And with this feeling I'll forget, I'm in love now. _I closed my eyes, and tried to let all these feelings sink in. I was overwhelmed in this hushed moment; we were dancing to the song, and it may have looked simple—but it was anything but. There was such an impact that these lyrics had on me. I knew I was falling in love with Christian Grey. We had only known each other a short period of time, but I knew this feeling was real. I had butterflies in my stomach every time our eyes met. My soul sang songs of serenity with every touch, every kiss. He was the sun, and I was the fool Icarus who could not help but to stray too closely.

_ Kiss me like you want to be loved…you want to be loved…you want to be loved. This feels like falling in love…falling in love…we're falling in love. _I stopped the dance for just a second to stand up on my tippy toes to kiss this sweet boy in front of me. I slowly explored his lips, and it was a soft kiss at first. He pressed me closer to him, and moved a hand to my face, cradling me. My heart was fluttering, and I felt this warm, tingling sensation settle in the bottom of my soul. Christian was making me feel something I never knew existed. _This feels like falling in love. _That lyric from the song reverberated through my head. _Oh Christian, I hope you're feeling this too. _We drew back from the kiss, breathless.

_ Yeah, I've been feeling everything from hate to love, from love to lust, from lust to truth… I guess that's how I know you. So I hold you close to help you give it up._ Christian and I had both been through hell, but right now, we were just a boy and a girl, exploring the first gatherings of a blossoming love. I wasn't Ana—the girl with scars on her arms. He wasn't Christian—the boy who couldn't be touched. We were together…we were one soul inhabiting two bodies. We had a connection that was like nothing else I have ever experienced. His grey gaze smoldered at me, and his eyes were blazing with this primal need. He kissed me again, and it was more vigorous, more passionate. _Oh boy, his mouth!_

_ So kiss me like you want to be loved…you want to be loved…you want to be loved. This feels like falling in love…falling in love…we're falling in love. Kiss me like you want to be loved…you want to be loved…you want to be loved. This feels like falling in love…falling in love….we're falling in love._ We whisked around his bedroom, and I felt this joyous jubilation bubble from the depths of my heart. I laughed as he dipped me down low. My blue eyes were alight with the happiness I was feeling simply being with him. We were here together, despite all we had endured. We were stronger people because of our pasts, and we had found each other. Christian reframed my worldview, and had given me a much needed meaning in a meandering moment. I was in love. Christian Grey had stolen my heart, but he could keep for our little slice of eternity. I was, in this instant, the happiest I had ever been. The song ended, and we both stood there, breathless from this experience.

"We're falling in love," I said simply. I knew I was, and I had to tell him. I bit my lip as I waited for his response.

"Yes, Anastasia, I think we are," Christian murmured. He took me in his arms, and just held me. We stayed in this sweet moment, sated by our confession. My heart was ablaze with his words. _I think we are. Oh, Christian! _"I meant what I said when I told you I was falling for you. I've never felt this way, Ana. You're the most amazing girl I've ever met. You're loving, caring, kind…and despite all the shit you've been through, you're still here. I'm fucking useless at putting my feelings into words, but I know I'm feeling something powerful…wonderful…life-changing."

He framed my face with his strong hands, and his strong grey gaze settled on my wide blue eyes. He kissed me, and it was a soft caress at first. I moaned into his mouth, and I deepened the kiss. He responded by hoisting me up and carrying me back to his bed. I was cradled beneath him, and he was kneeling over me.

"Christian," was all I could get out before his mouth was on mine again. His hand was slowly travelling up my shirt, and he gently covered my breast, kneading it gently.

"Ana, is this okay?" Christian asked nervously. I nodded my consent, and threw back my head in the sensation. This experience was so much better than last night because all my attention was focused on his ministrations; I was not lost in the haziness of alcohol. He lifted up my shirt and replaced his hand with his mouth. He was much braver this time around. I felt him grow harder against my hip.

"Christian, oh," I moaned. I was lost in the sensation, and that familiar tingle was starting to gather low in my core. I was rubbing my legs together, begging for some much-needed release. "I want you Christian, please."

"Oh, Ana. What are you doing to me?" Christian asked as kissed me again. He started to unbutton my jeans, and I was all too happy to help him get them off me. I reached down to tug open his jeans, and managed to get the fly down before he ripped them off. We stared at each other with wide eyes full of wonder, lust, and anxiety. I nervously reached down and cupped the bulge in front of his boxers, and I let my fingers explore cautiously. Christian's eyes closed, and his breathing had ceased for a split second before he let out a soft moan. "Yes, Ana."

I stopped just long enough to take my shirt off, and then I went back to my tender touches. I was exhilarated, but so nervous. This was moving so fast, but I didn't want it to stop. And by the way Christian was responding to my touch, I don't think he wanted it to stop either.

"Ana, are you sure you want to do this?" Christian asked with a pained tension. Even in the heat of the moment, he was still a perfect gentleman.

"Yes Christian. I want this. I want you," I said with more conviction than I knew was possible. He kissed me again, and his hand started to move towards my panties.


	12. Chapter 12: I'll Be Right beside You

-Disclaimer- I don't own anything associated with the Fifty Shades Trilogy. All rights belong to the wonderful E.L. James. I'm just borrowing the characters for a brief thrill, and I will put them back when I'm done!

-A/N- I apologize for the last chapter's cliffhanger! I couldn't leave it without finishing it. So here's the next chapter! I can't promise that I'll be able to update this quickly each time. Thanks for the reviews, favorites, and follows. Did I mention how much I appreciate them, and love all you wonderful readers? Well, enjoy the next chapter. Warning: there is smut ahead!

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Chapter 12: I'll Be Right beside You, Dear

-Christian POV-

I had a goddess moaning under me. _You're so fucking lucky, Grey. Don't fuck this up. _I slid my hand down toward Ana's panties. She was squirming under me, and it was fucking hot. I looked at her face. Her eyes were scrunched closed, and she was biting her lip. God, what that did to me. She was a siren, and I had no choice but to answer her beckoning, beautiful call.

I slipped my hand under her panties, and she was so fucking ready. She was slick and wet against my fingers, and I nearly came just touching her. _Hold it together, Grey. _I found her sweet spot again, and concentrated on that. I was an amateur at all this, but I knew from last night that I could at least do this relatively well. She was writhing under me, and as soon as I skirted over her clit she keened.

"Christian, oh! Yes!" Ana cried underneath me, and she began biting her lip. I bent down and kissed her. She tasted so fucking sweet. I trailed kisses down to her neck, and bit softly into her delicious skin. I pressed into her soft flesh more, trying to increase the pressure. I was rewarded with a loud moan and her arching her back sharply. I felt her clenching around my hand, and I was grinning from ear to ear. _Good going Grey!_

Ana threw her arm over her eyes and was panting. I got to watch her perfect tits as they rose and fell with each deep breath. I was mesmerized by her beauty, and here she was with a fuck-up like me.

I didn't get to dwell on that thought too long because she slowly sat up and kissed me. "Thank you Christian, that was just…wow," she said breathlessly.

"We aim to please," I said smirking.

"My turn to play," Ana said with a wicked smile. She flashed her beautiful blues at me before gently pushing me back. I laid back and stared up nervously at the ceiling. Holy fuck—this was really happening. I was anxious as all hell because this was my first time doing anything like this. It wasn't as if I hadn't fantasized about it a million fucking times, but damn…having it actually happen was way better than any fantasy or daydream. Ana touched me through my boxer briefs again. Her small hand was lightly exploring me, and it was so good. I had to get a grip or else this would be over way too fucking soon.

She slowly pulled down my boxer briefs, and I heard her gasp. "Wow Christian, this is really impressive," she said appreciatively. _Fucking hell, keep talking like that Ana and this will be over too fucking soon! _My ego was on cloud nine. She hesitated, and I glanced down at her. Her brow was furrowed, and she was biting her fucking lip again. "I'm sorry Christian, it's just that I've never done this, and I have no idea what to do," Ana said with a small voice. She glanced away almost as if she were embarrassed.

I quickly sat up and grasped her chin. "Ana, don't worry. I've never done anything like this. You're my first. When I touched you, I was scared shitless. I had no clue what I was doing either. Whatever you'll do will feel fucking amazing, I know it. But I can show you if you'd like."

She smiled that brilliant smile at me again. "Okay, show me what you like, and I'll go from there."

I gently grabbed her hand and wrapped it around my cock. "Squeeze, but not too tightly. Just like that. And just go up and down," I said in a husky whisper. After a few strokes I let go and fell back. Her small hand felt like heaven. She continued to stroke up and down, and she started to squeeze just a bit tighter up around the head, and I knew I was getting close. "FUCK! God Ana, fuuuuck .That's good, that's so good baby." I glanced down at her, and she was still biting her lip.

"Oh Christian," she moaned. And that was all it took.

"ANA!" I yelled as I came hard. I didn't have enough time to give her proper warning, and I felt like an asshole when I came down from my orgasm.

I glanced at her, and I had come all over her hand, me, and some of my bed. _Fucking shit Grey! _I took off my t-shirt and quickly wiped up what I could. Ana had a scandalous smile on her lovely face as she brought one of her fingers to her mouth. She stuck her index finger in her mouth and sucked. _Holy fuck, I'm going to come again. _I groaned out load at her sexy action.

"Ana, holy fuck. That was amazing," I said as I kissed her. She threaded her fingers through my hair, and straddled me.

"Are you up for round 2?" Ana asked with labored breathing.

I felt my cock stirring, and I knew it wouldn't be too long before I was ready to go. "Ana, you beguile me. I never thought it could be that good."

I kissed her again, and cupped her breast. It was delightfully full in my hand. The soft flesh melded in my hand. I leaned down to taste her sweet flesh again. My tongue darted out to tease her nipple. She leaned her head to the side with closed eyes and let out a breathy moan. We were heating up again when my cell phone started to buzz. I was going to ignore it because I had a gorgeous vixen to pay attention to. Then my phone started to ring, and it was Elliot's ringtone.

"Ana, hold on one minute baby. I have to answer this," I said with one more kiss.

"Ignore it, please. I need you, Christian," Ana pouted. I almost listened to her, but if Elliot was calling it was probably an emergency because he never called.

"Hold that thought, Ana," I said. I reached over to my nightstand where my phone was. I answered my phone, and I snapped at Elliot. "What? This better be a fucking emergency."

"Sorry little bro. I just take it this classic beetle bug belongs to this elusive Anastasia Mia was telling me about. I'm downstairs in the house now, and heard you guys having some fun. Well mom is pulling in the driveway now. If you don't want mom to decapitate you, I suggest you and your date come into the living room or kitchen, and pronto. I have the television on. Just come down here and act natural," Elliot said.

"FUCK! Thanks for the warning. We'll be down in two minutes. I owe you one," I said as I jumped up. I did my best to hide my growing erection as I hurriedly pulled up my jeans. Anastasia looked hurt and confused by my sudden movements.

"My mom's coming. She'll kill me if she finds us up here. We have to go downstairs now," I said gently. I kissed her once again and started helping her gather her clothes. She was shocked, and jumped from the bed as quickly as I did.

"I will cash in on the favor soon, Christian. Just hurry up," Elliot said. I could hear the smirk in his voice as he hung up. Ana finished dressing and was trying to get her shoes on.

"Just grab them, and we can go downstairs. Sorry Ana. I didn't expect my mother home till after midnight. We will make this up, I promise," I said with another deepening kiss. _Fucking cock-blocked. _

"Oh, I plan to take that rain check, and soon," Ana said seductively. I grabbed the pizza box and her hand. We rushed downstairs, and Elliot was sitting on the couch with his fucking smirk. I was pissed that we were interrupted, but I was very thankful that we were interrupted by him and not my mother.

Ana and I took a seat next to Elliot, and I sat the pizza box down. Ana had a sexy flush creeping up her neck. I squeezed her hand and shot her a quick smiled.

Elliot was still smirking as he reached over and grabbed a slice of pizza. "This is cold little brother."

Before I could spit out a retort, my mom came through the door. She was carrying her briefcase and had a puzzled look on her face. "Whose car is that out there?" My mother asked.

"That's Ana's car. I hope you don't mind, but me and Elliot invited her over to watch some movies with us," I said quickly. I hoped my voice was even, because I was nervous as fuck.

My mother's face lit up like a fourth of July firework display. "Yes! Of course that's okay!" She said happily.

Ana stood up graciously. "Hello. It's very nice to meet you. I'm Anastasia Steele, Christian's girlfriend," she said as she shook my mom's hand. Ana's confidence was very startling, but also extremely sexy. She was still flushed, but she handled it with a poised grace.

"Anastasia! It's so great to finally meet you. Christian's told me so much about you," my mom said.

"Please call me Ana!" Ana said with a sincere smile. My mother and Ana made small conversation, but Elliot leaned over to me and started talking so I couldn't hear what they were saying.

"Way to go Christian. She's hot. And I heard you guys in your room. Didn't mean to eavesdrop, but you're quite loud," Elliot snickered at me. I threw him the nastiest scowl I could.

"Lay off Elliot. I never say anything about the girls you bring home," I snapped at my brother.

"Hey, this is the first girl you've brought home. I'm just giving you a hard time. She is really pretty, and she really likes you. I can tell," Elliot said with his signature grin.

Before I could talk to Elliot anymore, Ana sat back down. I could tell by the change in her demeanor that she was way more relaxed.

"Ana it was so nice to meet you! I wasn't expecting you until tomorrow for dinner, but this was such a great surprise! Unfortunately, I have some paperwork I have to work on. You guys have fun! Ana I look forward to talking to you more tomorrow dear!" My mother said with a small wave. She looked in my direction, and there was a happiness that gleamed in her eyes. She gave me a little grin, and I knew she would talk to me later about Ana. I was relieved that Elliot warned us because I did not to see my mother's reaction to seeing Ana naked and wriggling under me with pleasure. My cheeks grew hot and I suddenly had less room in my pants as I flashed back to what Ana and I were doing just a short time ago.

"Ana, since my little brother suddenly forgot his manners, I'll introduce myself. I'm Elliot, the big brother," Elliot said with a grin.

Ana smiled back and shook his hand. "Hi Elliot; it's nice to meet you. Thanks for warning us. I think I owe you too!"

"That's okay, Ana. I wouldn't want Christian to get skinned alive in front of you. That's not a very good first impression," Elliot said with a small chuckle. "Well, now that the crisis has been averted, I need a shower. Thanks for the cold pizza, brother. Ana, I look forward to seeing you again. Tomorrow as I take it from my mother. Have fun you two!"

Elliot left the couch, and I felt Ana sag against me. "Wow, Christian. That was close!"

"I know. Elliot can be a pain in the ass, but he saved us tonight," I said.

"I wish we could have continued," Ana said softly. I kissed her, and pressed my forehead against hers.

"Oh baby, I wish we could have too. But there's always next time. Like I said before, this is the only relationship I've ever been in. It's moving fast, and it's a whirlwind. You're the most bewitching woman I've ever met. You've got me caught in your spell, Ana," I said.

"I know Christian. I know it seems so fast, but it feels right. What you make me feel is…beyond words. It's so hard to describe. I am falling in love with you Christian Grey," Ana said.

"I've already fallen, Ana. And I am so fucking glad you were there to catch me. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me. I feel…normal. I was never able to touch another person without such a fear because of what happened to me when I was younger. Physical contact for me was always harsh, and even when my parents adopted me, I couldn't stand to be touched. When you handed me my book bag weeks ago, you electrified me. Ana, you shocked my system. Though our fingers touched accidentally, your touch became something I didn't fear. It was a revelation for me, and I know it's because you're my saving grace Anastasia Steele," I said. I was baring my soul to Ana.

She held my face with both hands and gently kissed me. I deepened our kiss, and reluctantly had to break it because we both needed to breathe. I was panting like I had run a marathon. _The things she makes me feel…it's like nothing I've ever experienced. I love her. I fucking love her with everything I have. _

"I love you Christian Grey. You saved me too. I was a shell…a husk of my former self. I couldn't stand to be touched either, not after what _he _did to me. But you rescued me from my demons, Christian. When you touched me, everything came alive again. In my stark nightmare, you were the guiding light that led me back to my dreams. But this is so much better than any dream I could have had—you're the best part of my reality," Ana said in a hushed breath.

_She loves you Grey. This wonderful, gorgeous, beguiling goddess loves you. You are a fucking lucky guy. _"I love you too, Anastasia. I'm not a hearts and flowers type of guy, but I know what I am feeling now is the best thing that's ever happened to me. You make me want to be a better person. I don't want to be Christian the brawler…I want to be Christian, Ana's boyfriend. I want to be the center of your universe, because you're my world, Ana. I don't give a fuck if it's only been a few weeks. I love you," I said as I kissed her. She hugged me, and we stayed in that position for a quarter of eternity. Time was meaningless as I held her delicate frame in my arms. She was here…she was real…and she was mine.


	13. Chapter 13: You're My Sweetheart

-Disclaimer- E.L. James is the owner of the Fifty Shades Trilogy. Thanks to her, I can play with the characters for just a bit then put them back. No copyright infringement is intended!

-A/N- Reality has settled down for once, allowing me a chance to eclipse myself into my fantasy realm. Sorry for the absence, my lovely readers! I thought I would have more time since I am done with classes for the summer, but my new job has all but taken over my life. Thankfully it is only a summer job, and I will be done with it in a few weeks. So, a big thank you to each and every reader! You make my day with every favorite, follow, and review. The more reviews, the happier I am! Enough rambling…happy reading! Warning, smut ahead!

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Chapter 13: You're My Sweetheart

-Ana POV-

Christian's words were still on my heart. _I love you, Anastasia. _My world had stilled in this precious instant, and I was in a blissful heaven. My heart was fluttering, and inexplicable joy bubbled up inside me. His hands were still framing my face, and I gazed into his lovely grey eyes. This boy loved me, and I could hardly comprehend this whirlwind romance. I was capable of being loved…me, Anastasia Rose Steele. I was tainted from a traumatic past, but somehow Christian saw beyond my damaged exterior. I was worth something to him, and that little thought made my whole world light up again.

He kissed me again, and it was a gentle reminder or our connection. I moaned low in my throat, and I heard his sharp intake of breath as his lips parted from mine. His grey gaze darkened to a stormy haze of desire, and my I felt my core contract deliciously. I closed my eyes and reveled in the memory of our earlier session. I loved the way his hands felt on me, and how he lovingly touched me while whispering sweet words of love in my ear.

I felt his lips on mine again, but this time it was more heated. I responded with as much passion as I could, but I was feeling breathless at the enormity of our confession. His hand began to creep under my shirt again, and before I knew it, his hand was covering my breast. The pleasure began to unfurl in my stomach, and I moaned again, this time louder.

"God, Ana. You feel so fucking good. I want you so bad, baby," Christian whispered hotly against my mouth. He kissed his way down my neck, and as he lifted up my shirt and pushed my bra up, he captured my pert nipple in his mouth. His hot breath coupled with his eager tongue turned me into a melting pile of passion. He was working magic with his mouth and trying to unbutton my pants at the same time. Christian's hand began to descend into the waistband of my jeans, and my phone picked that very moment to ring.

"Shoot! Stupid phone! Sorry Christian, I have to get this. If it's my mom and I don't answer, she'll kill me," I said apologetically. Christian groaned, and his verbal frustration matched my inner frustration perfectly. I grabbed my phone to see that it was dad.

"Hi daddy. What's up?" I asked as I answered the phone.

"Ana, it's getting late. Your mom said you're not home yet," my dad said softly. I quickly glanced at my phone, and it was 9:34 pm. Wow, this day sure went quickly!

"I lost track of time. Why didn't mom call me herself?" I asked.

"She's not ready to talk to you Ana. Your comment about Steven had her really upset. She's in denial about the whole damn thing, and she's slowly self-destructing. She wants to pretend it never happened, and is hoping you will forget to. I know you're moving on Annie, but you're not in denial like her. I'm amazed at your progress, and so proud of your resilience baby girl, but your mother is a different story. She shuts down when anyone mentions it," Ray said. His voice was heavy with many emotions, and I felt my heart wrench.

"I know dad. I am walking on eggshells with her. I never know if it's going to set her off or not," I said.

"I know Annie. Can you head home soon? And when you get there, give your old man a call so I don't worry," Ray said.

I smiled into the phone. "I will leave in a few minutes. I'll talk to you soon, dad. Love you."

"I love you too, Ana. Drive home safe," Ray said and hung up.

I looked over to Christian who was still very much aroused. I gave him an apologetic smile as I fixed my shirt and buttoned my pants. "I have to head home. My mother is resorting to calling my dad. If he comes searching and finds you like that," I said motioning to his very impressive bulge, "he will rip it off and make you wear it as a horn."

"Just a little longer, Ana. I'll make it worth it your while," Christian tried to bargain with me. His smile was seductive, and his posture was perfectly predatory. I melted like warm butter in the middle of July, and I almost gave in.

"I wish I could, Christian. I would definitely like to pick up where we left off, but I have to go. I will be back over tomorrow for dinner," I said as I tried to placate him.

"Fine," he pouted. I leaned over and kissed him.

"Walk me out?" I asked him.

"Sure baby," he said as he got up. I gathered my belongings, and Christian held out his hand for me. We walked out in silence, and I was surrounded by a heavy air of regret. I did not want to leave Christian, and I certainly did not want to go home with my mother. We get out to Wanda, and Christian regards her with distrust.

"I really don't like you driving this car, Ana. It's two seconds from collapsing," Christian said.

"Leave Wanda alone. She's been faithful for years, and Ray bought her for me. She's special," I said as I defended her. We were not rehashing this argument!

"Okay, okay. I'd much rather kiss you than argue with you," Christian said. He gently ran his fingers down my cheek, and then he gently took my face in his hands. His eyes explored mine briefly before his lips brushed mine. It was a gentle caress at first, but then his hunger emerged, and he started kissing me with more fervor. His tongue dipped in my mouth, and he tasted so good. His right hand moved to the back of my head to deepen the kiss, and his left hand traveled down to the small of my back. He was holding me so tenderly, but his mouth was ravaging mine. I grabbed his shirt with balled fists and held on for dear life. Boy was he getting good at this!

I finally broke the kiss to get a much needed breath of air. His forehead was pressed against mine with his eyes closed and mouth open, panting for air. "God Ana, I fucking love you."

"I love you too Christian," I kissed him again, but cut it short. As much as I would love to kiss him all night, I did have to get home.

"Don't leave yet," Christian begged.

"But my mom is going to get mad at me," I tried to counter, but his kisses were making my resolve weaken. His sultry kisses were a great reason to stay a little longer. I look around, and open my car. I crawl in the backseat, and Christian quickly follows suit.

I am barely seated before he is on me. His lips meld to mine, and his hands are instantly working at the buttons on my jeans. He has my pants off before I could even comprehend what was happening.

"Whoa there, buddy. You're rearing to go, aren't you?" I said in a breathless laugh.

Christian didn't reply with words. Instead he kissed me again, and I felt his hand delve into my panties. His shuddering breath went straight to my core, and I felt myself get even wetter. "Baby, you're so wet. So fucking wet."

"Oh, Christian," I said as I moaned. He moved his kisses down, and spent a great deal of time lavishing my breasts with attentive kisses. He pulled my panties completely off, and he gently repositioned us so I was lying down. He was heading down south, and I tensed up.

"Christian, what are you doing?" I said with a frantic whisper.

"I have to taste you, Ana," he said simply. I was apprehensive about it. What if he didn't like the way I tasted, or the way I smelled? I didn't want to put him off before we even started.

"But Christian, wait…" I started, but at the first touch of his tongue on my clit, I arched off the seat and my words ended in a garbled moan.

With another stroke of his tongue, I was moaning loudly. "Ugh…Oh, oh. Christian…yesssss," I hissed through clenched teeth.

"Christ, Ana. You taste so fucking good baby," Christian grunted. His tongue explored my folds, and I was a bundle of pleasure. I had no idea it could be this good. Christian's licks were tentative at first, but as my moans increased, so did his confidence. He concentrated on my clit, and I felt the familiar burn deep in my belly.

"You're so fucking wet, Ana. God, I love how ready you are," he said against me. The vibrations from his words left me reeling. He took my clit between his teeth and sucked as he gently put his finger inside me. He slowly was working his finger in and out…in and out…in and out. It amazing to feel the fullness his fingers were providing with the heat of his mouth and agility of his tongue.

With one more flick of his tongue and the adding of a second finger, I was gone. I felt myself tumble over the precipice, and I was falling into oblivion. I arched to almost a painful degree as my orgasm shot through me. This was the strongest orgasm I have had so far. I felt my entire body relax as I slumped down, feeling almost boneless.

I finally got enough strength to lean up on my elbows and gaze at him. He had the most satisfied smirk on his face. He kept his eyes trained on mine as he put his fingers in his mouth, savoring my salty taste. _Oh fucking my. _I nearly expired at that simple action. It was so hot, and I felt my desire wash over me again.

"That was amazing," I whispered joyously.

"You're telling me," Christian said with a wide smile. He leaned up to kiss me, and in the cramped backseat of Wanda, the heat of our bodies intermingled.

"I want you Christian," I said in a hot whisper. He groaned, and was reaching for me. I sat up and attempted to straddle him, but the confines of the car was challenging.

"As much as I want you too, Ana, I don't have any protection. Are you on the pill or any type of birth control?" Christian asked.

I blanched as I realized how right he was. "No, I didn't even think of that. Oh no!"

"I thought of it when we were so close earlier. I can't be irresponsible like that. I love you so much, Ana, but we need protection," Christian said. I sighed because he was right.

"Plus I think it's just a bit fast anyway. I love what we're doing, don't get me wrong. But that's a big step," I said.

"I know. And I want our first time to be special. Hearts and flowers, you know. I don't want my first time to be in a tiny car, and I can't knowingly claim your virtue without making it memorable," he said.

I struggled to get my underwear and pants back on. We sat there for a few minutes, unsure of where to go from there. I kissed him gently, and I could still taste remnants of myself. "I could at least take care of you. It's very unladylike to leave a gentleman in such a state."

"You don't have to, Ana," Christian said, but I wasn't having it. He just sent me on cloud nine, and how could I ignore his needs? I sunk down to my knees, and unbuttoned his pants. I pulled them down over his hips, and he was nearly bursting at the seams in his boxer briefs. I gently touched him as I pulled him out. "Christ Ana."

I stroked his cock up and down like he showed me earlier. I was moving quickly, and his breathing was labored.

"Oh Ana, that's good. You're so fucking good at this," Christian gasped out.

I was inspired by his actions earlier, and I slowly took the tip of his cock in my mouth.

"FUCKING FUCK!" Christian roared. His hips slammed up, taking me by surprise. I tasted the small bead of precum, and moaned at how good he tasted. I sucked harder and continued my stroking.

"Ana, oh God. I'm going to come, Ana!" Christian stammered out. He quickly pushed my shoulders back and pulled up his boxer briefs just in time for his orgasm. He came hard, but luckily with his timing, the mess was contained to a small area. "Fuck me that was fucking amazing."

I sat back, reveling in my own power. I did that—I made Christian come like that. I felt like a goddess, and I was basking in my glory. Christian kissed me and pulled his pants back up.

"Sorry I pushed you back, Ana. I just didn't want to come all over you and your car. It would be hell to clean up," Christian explained. "But fuck was that good. Really fucking good."

"I agree. I liked tasting you Mr. Grey," I said in a low, husky whisper.

"Back at you, Miss Steele," Christian said. He cupped my cheek again and kissed me passionately.

"I love you Christian, so much," I said.

"Oh Ana, I love you too, baby. And as much as I hate to see you go, you have to get home before Ray comes looking for me with a shot gun for doing such dirty things to his daughter," Christian said with a laugh.

"I enjoy those dirty things, Christian. But you're right. I was supposed to leave over 45 minutes ago!" I said. We got out of my car and stretched our stiff muscles. "Next time, we're doing this in your car. Wanda is a bit too small to accommodate us!"

"I agree. I will see you tomorrow, Anastasia. Drive safely, and text me when you get home. I love you," Christian said with one final kiss.

"I will. I love you too," I said as I got in Wanda. The old girl started up with a sputter, but we were on our way. I waved to Christian and headed home. _Wow, what a night! _

* * *

I pulled into my driveway, and turned Wanda off. I walked up to my house, apprehensive because I was coming home so late. This sense of foreboding was heavy on my heart, and it was nearly paralyzing me. My mother was going to be so mad at me. I wonder if she was still not talking to me, and if she was going to continue communicating through Ray. It killed me that our relationship was nearly severed, but I couldn't fix it. I couldn't make it better. I was not going to forget what he did to me. And with this thought, my mind began to wander on its own accord. And in that instant, I was back there…with _him, _and I could not stop it. The memory took over my entire mind, paralyzing me.

_The biting blade of the knife as it carved into my flesh…I felt the bile rising in my throat…the pain. God, the pain—it was awful. I was being branded, inside and out. "…you like it when it hurts, don't you?" His words were making me tremble more than his knife ever could. His tone was cold, clinical, calculating. No emotions were present. Just the need to inflict the maximum amount of pain he could. Another slice of the blade…another drag of the cigarette. 'Please stop' my mind shouted. I fought back, but he was stronger. I was weak. Finally, the smell of burning flesh pierced my nostrils, and the pain registered in the deep recesses of my mind. STOP! STOP! STOP!_

I was shaken out of my reverie. I was leaning against the side of my porch, shaking like the last leaf in a late blowing in an October breeze. _Don't go back there. Don't…just breathe. Breathe in the count of four; breathe out the count of eight. _I continued this cycle. _1, 2, 3, 4…1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, and 8. _I felt my pulse even out and my breathing slowed thanks to the exercise my last counselor showed me. I couldn't go back there. I was making such progress, and in the blink of an eye, I was back there. The flashbacks were so vivid that I swear I could feel the severing pain again. I pushed up my sleeves, and saw the faded marring of my skin. These scars were a year old; none of them were fresh. I pushed my sleeves back down. If my mother saw, she would probably go catatonic again. I thought back to our conversation this morning.

Just the mere mention of _his _name left her unable to react. She walked away, just like she always did. I needed closure. I needed to understand why—how could a mother sit there, abused and battered, and not leave? She had a stable job that provided us with decent money, so economic dependence wasn't the issue. We were isolated there…sure, but we could have always went home with Ray.

I just couldn't wrap my head around it. I remember screaming for her, pleading for her to save me, and she couldn't…no, wouldn't move. I was left in a heaped on the floor, bloody and broken, and all the while stared off into space. This woman raised me in her image: strong, brave, independent, outspoken, kind. She was always the best mother, and all of a sudden, it ended. She was transformed into a quiet and translucent ghost of her former self. I tried to withstand it because I didn't want to leave her alone.

She was my mother, but in those last few days in that perpetual hell, she was just another face in my constant misery. She was my beacon of hope in a cruel world, but then she was the retched reminder of my rendering reality. My body was permanently marked, but it was the emotional scars, the invisible ones, that I am still dealing with even after all this time. I tried dealing with it head on, and with Ray's help after I moved back, I made some real progress. But then she got out of the relationship, married Bob, and was all of a sudden a new woman. I moved in with her at Ray's behest, and all the headway I made towards some semblance of normality was stricken down. I looked at my mother, and I still saw the hollowed eyes of the husk of a woman who couldn't save her daughter. She was doing so much better with Bob, but I still felt the weight of her betrayal on my battered soul. That's why we came back to Washington. I needed Ray…he was my real parent. He rescued me when my mother was too consumed by her own darkened reality.

I heavily sighed as I dug out my house keys. Christian's house was a glorious escape from my own farce of a family. He was branded as tainted goods at an early age, but was still able to overcome it. My ordeal is still fresh on my mind, and I am still working every day to put one foot in front of the other. But then again, so was Christian. He was brawling before we got together because of all his demons, so I guess my assumptions were wrong. He may have started to overcome his journey through hell, but he was still fighting it. At least we had each other now.

_Christian Grey, my boyfriend. _The title reverberated in my head, and it sent chills straight to my core. I was in love with this beautiful, broken boy…and he loved me. We were both familiar with trauma; the licking flames of hellfire scorched us both, but we were still here. Christian and I were survivors. From victims to victors, at least we would be. I could help him get over his fear of being touched, and he could help me gain back some trust in this life. He saw my scars. The only people who had seen them were my mother, that bastard Steven, Ray, and a few doctors who were treating me. Christian saw me, and didn't shudder. He didn't turn away in fear, or give me a debilitating look of sympathy.

He had the empathy that others lacked. He knew what it was like to have something horrible in your life scar you permanently. I was not defined by my scars. They were reminders of my journey, a part of my story…well, more like part of my nightmare. They were little whispers that I had made it out of the darkness…little tokens of the tumultuous terror and torment I experienced, but they were my battle scars. I survived, and that's more than some people can say. My path was not paved by the broken bits of betrayal I have suffered; instead, my path was carved with hope, inspiration, and a passion for life. I was going to make it out of this hell. With Christian and Ray's help, I could be whole again. I could be saved…I was worth saving.

I opened up my house, and it was eerily quiet. My mother must be sleeping, and I was not sure where Bob was. I thought he might be on a business trip, but I wasn't sure. He was nice enough, but I tried not to pay too much attention to him. I closed the door and locked up. I quickly called Ray, but got his voicemail.

"Hi daddy. I know it's late, but I made it home. I was watching a movie with Christian and I didn't want to leave till it was over. I will talk to you tomorrow. Love you." I said as I hung up. I threw down my stuff and took my shoes off. I flicked the light on, and I saw my mom sitting in the living room. I sighed. She was in the chair facing the television with her back to me, and she didn't acknowledge me. _Wow, she must be really mad at me. _

"Mom, I'm sorry. I should have called, but Ray said you are still upset with me. It's late, and I don't want to talk about it right now. I am going to bed, goodnight. I love you," I said. I waited for a reply, and I didn't get one. I rolled my eyes and started to head to my room. Fine, if she was going to act like a petulant teenager, than so could I. I had grand plans of storming to my room and slamming my door dramatically, but something stopped me dead in my tracks. I noticed a bottle of whiskey by the chair my mom was in. And next to the bottle, was a little brown prescription bottle knocked over with the lid thrown open. I then noticed my mom's hand dangling over the side of the chair, motionless.

My feet quickly dashed over to the chair before my brain could even process what was happening. I was numb, and fear splashed over me like an ice bath. I was in front of my mother, and I collapsed to my knees when I saw her. Her eyes were glazed over and rolled back in her head. He mouth was slightly open, and a foam substance was slowly making its way down her chin. I grabbed her hand, and it was so cold.

"MOM! MOM, PLEASE! MOMMY, WAKE UP! OH GOD, MOM!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. I started to shake her, and I got no response. "MOM!" I screamed again, and it was to no avail. I was frozen with fear festering at my heart. My senses were in hyper drive as adrenaline surged through my body, and I couldn't breathe. I had started screaming, and I couldn't stop. "MOM!"


	14. Chapter 14: Darkest Before the Dawn

**-Disclaimer-** I don't own anything affiliated with the Fifty Shades trilogy. I'm borrowing the characters for a while, and then I'll put them back. Thanks to E.L. James for breathing life into this wonderful fandom! No copyright infringement is intended.

**-A/N-** Thanks to all the magnificent readers. You all make my day with every review, follow, and favorite. I never thought something I wrote would get this much response. I am eternally grateful to you all! I am updating so quickly because I couldn't leave you all with a cliff hanger. I love you all! Keep reviewing! The reviews have been really motivating to get me writing the next chapter a little bit quicker! Enjoy the chapter. Happy reading to all my lovelies! And review, review, review! Please! P.S. THANK YOU! MUCH LOVE!

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Chapter 14: It's Always Darkest before the Dawn

-Christian POV-

The night had ended so much better than I could have ever imagined. Hell, even my wildest daydreams were surpassed in the backseat of her beat up Beetle. Just to think a few short weeks ago, I was too damned scared to even talk to her. I remember the quiet time we shared in the library where I was struggling with the proper adage to even articulate a measure of what I was feeling. It was a fucking transformation, that's for sure. Ana has gusted into my life like a gentle breeze on a summer morning, but the effects she has had on me have rocked my life like a hurricane.

I am so much…_more..._when I am with her. Ana is the balm for my tortured soul. God help me, but I have fallen in love with her. And by some generous blessing from whatever entity is out there, she loves me too. I never thought something like this could happen to me—the fucked up kid who fought and brawled his way from one school to the next. I was so afraid of any human contact. The crack whore made sure of that when she let her pimp beat and burn me. Any touch I knew was harsh; it was packed with malicious intent and scarred me for life. I am forced to bare my permanent reminders of my past on my chest. The scars are the pinnacle of my pain. But Ana had her own reminders, and that is one of the tethers that connected us in our journey. She knew, really knew, what it was like to have the ones who are supposed to protect you harm you…hurt you…break you. _Fuck that…I'm not going back there. _

I was so angry at myself that I was letting my mind take me to the dark recesses of my mind. I couldn't handle that. Every time I thought about those dark times, I got the overwhelming urge to strike out…to fight…to brawl. I fucking refused to go back there. Instead, I thought about my sweet Anastasia. She was the most beautiful thing in my life; she was the sunshine that eclipsed the eternal darkness that shrouded my soul. I was so scared to even touch or be touched, and then I encountered my Anastasia. I brushed her hand when she was handing me my backpack, and that electrified me to my very core. It was the first thing that started to break me out of my self-induced captivity from my ivory tower.

I was remembering our sweet time in my bedroom, then in her car. I remembered the way she felt under my wandering fingers as they explored her glorious body, the say she tasted on the tip of my tongue. She was the most amazing girl, and she was all mine. I felt my growing erection, and I nearly groaned. I headed up to my bedroom and quickly changed into plaid lounge pants and a white t-shirt. I plopped down on my bed, and smelled the pillow Ana had been on. Her sweet floral scent was clinging to the cotton on my pillowcase. I felt myself grow harder, and my erection was begging for relief. I had two powerful orgasms, and my body was begging for another one. I wanted nothing more than Ana's hands on me, but I had to make do with my own. I grabbed my cock, and started stroking. I closed my eyes, and I was back in those moments with Ana. I remembered the way her delicate hand squeezed my cock, and then the way her hot mouth encompassed me. "Oh Ana," I moaned softly. I was going faster and faster, and then the visual of Ana writhing under my tongue was my undoing. I came hard, exploding all over my hand. _Fucking hell, that was intense. I miss Ana already! _My body was coming back down from my high, and I was suddenly tired. My eyes were heavy, and sleep was upon me.

I was dreaming of Ana when my phone buzzed loudly, shattering the silence of the night. _What the hell…who could be calling this late? _It was nearly after midnight. I grabbed my cell phone, and Ana's name flashed across the screen. I answered it as quickly as I could as a panic began to build in my chest. "Ana? What's up?"

I heard her sobbing hysterically. "My mother Christian, oh God my mother….she's dead…I think she's dead. Why, oh God why?"

"What are you talking about, Ana? Baby, what's wrong?" I asked. My body was nearly frozen with fear. I was already up, frantically changing my clothes. I threw on jeans and was struggling to get my shoes on. I threw on a jacket, grabbed my keys, and was on my way out in two minutes flat.

"When I got home…Oh God, was it because I was late? Was it because I threw Steven in her face? My mom…she, she, s-she…oh Christian…she overdosed. She's not moving. She is so cold Christian…so cold," Ana's voice dropped below a harsh whisper.

I stopped dead in my tracks. I was brought back to the time when I was four years old. _Mommy's cold. Here mommy, here's my blanky. It'll keep you warm. Mommy, I'm hungry. Can you make macaroni and cheese please? Mommy, are you tired? I'm sleepy too. We can take a nap together. Mommy, I'm really hungry now. I love you mommy…when you wake up, can I braid your hair again? _FUCK! I started crying, and I could not stop. Not again, I couldn't remember this again. Fuck me…fuck everything.

"Ana, call an ambulance, I'm on my way," I sobbed. _Fuck, get it together Christian. Ana needs you. _

"I did. They'll be here soon. God, I can't do this. Not again. Why us, Christian? Why do we have these things happen to us? Why mommy, why? God, please wake up. Don't leave me…not again. Please, mom," Ana screams. "I can't get ahold of Ray. I need my dad. I need you, Christian."

"I'm on my way baby," I said. I heard my mother's office door open, and she came out, worried.

"Christian, honey? What's wrong?" my mom asked frantically.

"Ana…I need to go to Ana," I whispered. I still had the phone to my ear, and Ana's screams were echoing in my head. It was a sound I would never forget, and I never wanted to hear them again. FUCK!

"Christian, why? It's so late. What's wrong, son?" my mother asked again. She was panicking, and I couldn't even speak without sobbing.

"Ana's mom…mom…she overdosed. She's dying, or dead. I don't know. Mom, I have to go to her. I can't leave Ana alone. Not like I was left alone. Mom, please," I begged her.

"Let me get my keys. You're in no condition to drive. Where does she live?" She asked me as she was gathering her things.

"Ana, I'm on my way. Please hold on," I said.

"The ambulance and police are here. She's alive…Oh Christian, she's alive," Ana cried out. "I'm on my way to the hospital. I'm riding in the ambulance."

"We'll meet you there," I said.

"Stay on the phone with me," Ana pleaded.

"Oh baby, I will. Hold on, my mom's driving me," I said. I looked at my mom, and told her we had to go to the hospital. We were out of the door, and on our way. My mom was speeding in and out of traffic, and I was trying to soothe my sobbing Ana. God how my heart ached for her.

I knew this pain…boy, did I know this fucking pain. My mother died the same way. What the fuck did Ana and I do to have our own mother's go out this way? Ana didn't deserve this. My sweet Anastasia didn't fucking deserve any of this. Fuck everything. Christ, this was out of control. I fucking hated feeling out of control. I had so little control over my life, and now my Ana's life was the same way. Fuck! I can't handle this anymore. I kept crying, and Ana was so quiet. I heard the beeping of machines in the background, so I knew she was still in the ambulance.

"Ana, we're close. Talk to me," I said quietly.

"Why would she do it, Christian? Is it my fault? Is it because I yelled at her about Steven?" Ana asked. Her voice was bleached with a numbness that radiated through my heart.

I sighed. I didn't have the fucking answer. "No Ana. It's not your fault. Your mom had her own demons, just like mine did. It's not your fault. It was her decision. This had nothing to do with you, and everything to do with the hell she's still trapped in. We're just kids, Ana. We shouldn't be caught up in all this bullshit. We don't deserve this. Your mom…she has issues Ana. She needs help. You've done what you can, but she can't be helped unless she chooses it. You can't save her, baby. She has to do that herself."

I heard Ana sobbing harder. "Am I not worth it?"

"Not worth what, Ana?" I asked, confused at the context of her question.

"Am I not worth living for?" She whispered. Fucking hell—that ripped right through my heart. Those words have been repeating in my head since my mom died all those years ago. I was supposed to be the center of her universe, but the drugs and addiction and shit that festered in our lives were the center of her world. I was barely a blip on her fucking radar. She was more worried about where her next fix was coming from or whose dick she had to suck to get her fucking crack. _Fuck you, crack whore. Fuck you! Not this shit again! _I was crying again. The bold pain from my childhood was circulating with my heartbreak for Ana. I took in a deep, sobbing breath and the tears started again. _FUCK! I didn't do this…I didn't cry. The only time I remember crying is when I realized the crack whore was dead. _

My mom reached over to my seat and grabbed my hand. I was still crying, but my mother's gesture helped calm me down greatly. "Of course you're worth living for Ana. You're worth it for me. I love you, and you're the center of my world now Ana. My day begins with thoughts of you, and it sets with visions of you dancing in my head. You've made my life so much better, Ana. I was on a path set in self-destruction, but you rescued me. You make my life worth living. Don't worry about anyone else. I know she's your mother, but she has her own shit to sort out. If you ever feel worthless, please just remember how much I love you and how much you're worth to me. Please baby, remember that."

"Oh Christian, I l-love you too," Ana sniffed. "We're here. They're making me go in the emergency room waiting room. Please hurry."

"Christian, we're two minutes from the hospital. I'm going to drop you off at the ER department, and then I am going to hurry up and see where they took Ana's mother. What is her name?" My mother asked me.

"Ana, what's your mom's name?" I asked.

"Carla. Carla Adams," she replied. I told my mother and kept trying to talk to Ana softly.

My mom hurried up and dropped me off at the emergency room door, and I leaned over and kiss her cheek. I bolted out of the door like there was a fire on my tail. "Ana, I'm here. Where are—" I started to ask her, but I saw my beautiful Ana. I hung up the phone, and then she was in my arms. I can't remember how I got to her so fast, but I know she was where she belonged. I held onto her, and for a precious moment, all was right in our fucked up world.

"It's okay Ana, I'm here now," I said. I sat down on the ugly green couch and pulled her into my lap. The emergency room was only about half full. I took a survey of the surroundings. There was an older man sitting in a wheel chair with oxygen. There was a baby who was fussy; his nose was runny and cheeks were flushed. There was a young girl who was favoring her right wrist. I shifted my attentions back to Ana, and she still did not say a word.

"My mom's going to be in there. She'll make sure they do everything for her," I said softly. Ana's head just snuggled deeper into my chest.

"I need to try to call Ray again," she murmured. I just tightened my grip on her.

"Give me the number, I'll call him. Just stay where you are, baby," I said. I dug out my phone and dialed as Ana rattled off the number. The phone rang five times before it hit the voicemail. I hung up; Ray didn't need to heart his over voicemail.

"She'll be okay, Ana," I said.

"Thanks for being here Christian. I needed you, and you came. You didn't hesitate. You came here, for me," she muttered almost under her breath.

"I'll always be here for you, Ana. I. Love. You. You're my girlfriend, and as your boyfriend, it's my duty to love, protect, and cherish you. When you need me, I'm here. You would have done the same for me in a moment's notice," I said as I kissed her forehead.

"I've only been with you a short time, but you've been there more for me than my own mother. When I needed her, she retreated into her own head, leaving me on my own with that bastard to do with as he pleased. And here you are with me. You're not expecting anything in return, you're just…here. Oh Christian, I love you so much. Thank you, thank you, thank you for coming to me. I couldn't do this without you. You mean so much to me. I love you," Ana whispered. She looked up at me, and tears were spilling from her beautiful blue eyes. I used the pad of my thumb to wipe the tears away.

She threw her arms around my neck, and started sobbing more. I pulled a handkerchief out my pocket and let her use it. Ana just sat there in my lap, and she was crying as her body was shaking with sobs. Eventually, the crying halted to mere sniffles. I sat there, just holding her. It was all I could do at this moment. This time it was out of both of our control; fate's hands had intervened, and this was up to whatever celestial body was out there guiding the universe. This was the perpetual darkness that invaded my soul, and I did not want Ana to experience it. We got to Ana's mother in time, so I prayed that this was the darkness before the dawn. I needed the sun to rise for Ana; I couldn't lose her to the darkness.

"I love you Christian," Ana said softly before closing her eyes. She was dozing off; she was exhausted from all the crying and stress.

"I love you too, Anastasia. Sleep now," I said. With one last kiss, she finally fell asleep. I waited for what felt like forever. Finally, I saw my mother and another doctor come through the doors.

"Ana, wake up, the doctors are here," I said trying to wake her up. She blinked the last remnants of sleep from her eyes, and jolted up. The solemn expression in her eyes was heavy on my soul, and she just grabbed my hand.

"Ana, Christian. She's alive," my mother said. With that, Ana collapsed next to me, and thankfully I had fast enough reflexes to catch her.

"Oh thank God," Ana said. I hoisted her up, and was clutching her for dear life.

"But this isn't the end. This is the beginning of a very long journey. Your mother needs help Ana," my mother said.

"I know. Thank you so much. I can't even begin to thank you enough," Ana said. Tears were springing to her eyes, but I think they were tears of happiness this time.

"She is asking to see you Ana. But she is also asking for a Steven as well," my mother said.

Ana's face went completely white. She took in a sharp intake of breath, and began hyperventilating. Her eyes rolled back into her head, and she fainted. Thankfully I was holding on to her, so I could catch her again. "ANA! Oh Ana, wake up!" I yelled. _Not Steven…not that fucker. What the fuck is going on? _


	15. Chapter 15: Bleeding Out

-Disclaimer- I don't own anything affiliated with the Fifty Shades Trilogy. Again, I'm just an obsessed fan girl creating my own fantasy land with E.L. James' characters. No copyright infringement is intended.

-A/N- Holy crap…I can't say it enough. Thank you, thank you, and thank you to all my wonderful readers! You guys make my day so much brighter with every review, favorite, and follow. This story has such an amazing following, and I couldn't be the writer I am without readers like you. On another note, please excuse any grammatical errors/typos in this. I typed it on my phone, and did not have enough time to thoroughly read it before posting. I wanted to get the next chapter up before I get too busy with domestic duties in the next few days! With that being said, happy reading…and make sure you review! Thanks lovelies!

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Chapter 15: Bleeding Out

-Ana POV-

I woke up, and everything felt so fuzzy. I noticed the harsh fluorescent light above me, and the beeping of a machine drew my focus away from the bright light. I glanced down and saw that I was wrapped with a white sheet and covered in a retched hospital gown.

"What the hell?" I asked. I saw Ray sitting by my bedside reading a magazine. His head snapped up, and his smile lit up his whole face.

"Welcome back to the land of the living baby girl," Ray said.

"What happened?" I asked. The last conscious thought I had was Dr. Trevelyan-Grey saying my mom was alive.

"You fainted Annie. And it took a while for you to wake up. You were dehydrated so they hooked you up to an IV," Ray said.

"What time is it?" I asked. I was so tired, but the pit of my stomach was twisted with a terrifying dread.

"It's almost 2:30 am," Ray answered.

I wasn't out more than a few hours. I noticed Christian asleep in an armchair at the end of my bed. My heart leapt in my throat. I couldn't believe he stayed with me. My sweet boy...Goodness how I loved him even more. He was so sweet to me, and he never left my side.

Reality settled in at that moment, shattering the serenity that my brief interlude with Christian's sleeping form had provided. The gravity of the situation nearly took the floor out from under my feet. I started crying again. The sons tore from my chest, and I couldn't stop it. My mom had tried to kill herself. Why would she do that? Why would she leave me? I didn't have many people I can depend on...besides Ray and Christian, I was all alone in the world. Why would she want to leave me? God, wasn't I enough?

Ray held on to me, and I just could not stop crying. My heart was full of so much pain, and I could not bear the brunt of the burden any longer. I sobbed into Ray's shoulder, and my cries must have woke Christian up. He was at my side in an instant, and Ray transferred me to Christian. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and I quieted down a bit.

"It's okay, Ana. Don't cry baby, please. I wish I could take this all away from you so you didn't have to suffer. I'm here for you Ana," Christian soothed me.

"Why? Why the hell would she ask for that bastard?" I practically screamed. The despair coursing through my veins was diminished now by the outrage and anger I felt.

"Language Annie. Who did your mother ask for?" Ray asked.

"She asked for Steven, daddy. I don't know why," I said in a tiny whisper. I was so angry, but I more hurt than anything. After all the hell he put is through, why would she want to see him?

Rays face changed dramatically; he was mad now. Christian had the same look of rage as well.

"Over my dead fucking body will that asshole come within two feet of Washington state line. We still have that restraining order, and it is in effect. If he comes anywhere near you, his ass will be in jail where he belongs," Ray snapped. He ran his hand over his face, and his eyes closed in bitter frustration.

"Why isn't he in jail now?" Christian asked. I knew he's wanted to ask that for a while, but he was probably afraid to ask.

"When I took Annie away from there, she just wanted to go. I wanted to press charges, but Carla still was there. She would have fought against it, and we would have had to go through a hearing where Annie would have to face that bastard in an open court. Plus, I didn't want the defense to get a hold of her. I've seen enough television dramas and witnessed live court hearings to know the defense will attack Annie's credibility. And to make her relive everything...I just didn't have it in me. So we got a restraining order. If he comes near us, I will kill him myself," Ray said with that vicious threat falling from his lips.

"If there are any legal matters at hand, my dad can help. He's a lawyer. That fucker will not get anywhere near Ana," Christian snarled.

With all the heartbreak my mother's attempted suicide caused me, it warmed my aching heart that Ray and Christian were so protective of me.

"I need to talk to my mom," I said.

"Ana, you need your rest baby," Christian said. "You scared the living day lights out of me when you passed out. You had a hard night. Plus your mom is probably sleeping now. Just rest."

"Actually Annie, before you talk to her I want to know why she was asking for Steven. If it is for any reason short of amnesia, I will throttle her!" Ray said.

"I can't rest without knowing why she did it and asked for him. And where is Bob? Did no one contact him?" I asked. It was the first time he crossed my mind, and I felt horrible that I didn't call him sooner.

"I don't know where he is baby girl. I called his cell phone, but it has been disconnected. I stopped by your house, and he was not there. I don't know if he's out of town for business or what. Your mom may have an answer," Ray said.

I needed to talk to her, and I couldn't wait till morning. My dreams would be haunted with "could bes" and "what ifs." I needed answers, and I didn't give a damn if it was nearly 3am. "Find out if she's awake. I'm not waiting. She has wasted enough of my time on this stuff, and I will not waste anymore. Damn it! I want answers!"

"Alright Annie. Let me talk to a nurse," Ray said as he left the room.

"Christian, on thank you so much. I couldn't do this without you," I said as I threw my arms around his neck.

"There's no place I would rather be, Ana," he said. Christian held my face tenderly, and just gazed into my eyes for what seemed like an eternity. He was so sweet, and my heart swelled with the depth of emotion I had for him. I closed the distance between us and our lips connected. The sparks were flying between us, but it was short-lived as I heard an awkward cough at the door. I looked up, and there was an elderly nurse present.

"Sorry to interrupt, but I need to check your vitals dear. I'm Elizabeth, and I will be your nurse this evening," she said.

"Okay," I said.

Christian vacated his old seat and waited for the nurse to check me over. She smiled kindly at us, then took my blood pressure and checked my IV drip.

"You're looking well, Miss Steele. Once the doctor gives you a clean bill of health, you should be free to go in the morning. You are just going to stay here long enough for your IV drip to finish up and you'll be good to go dear," Elizabeth said.

"Thanks," I said.

"I will get the doctor to check in with you in a few minutes," the nurse said. With another kind smile and a wave goodbye, she was gone.

Ray came in not too long after, and he looked so tired. I felt so bad that he was caught up in this mess. "Well Annie, they took her up to the psych ward. She's under mandatory observation for at least 72 hours. We can't see her till tomorrow at 2pm."

"Daddy, when I get out of here, can I please move back in with you? I can't do this anymore. I love mom, but I'm not strong enough to handle my pain and hers," I whimpered as the tears started anew. I was so tired, and holding in all this pain from the trials and tribulations over the past year had taken its last toll. I was done with this. I should be worrying about finishing homework, hanging out with friends, trying to sneak Christian in my bedroom without getting caught. I was just a teenager after all, but my reality was anything than that of "just a teenager." I was a girl haunted by a horrid past. I had scars covering most of my arms, and I didn't know how to deal with this anymore. I tried putting on a brave front, but I was no longer able to keep it up. I wanted to be "Ana the survivor," but right now I just felt like "Ana the victim" again.

"Of course, Annie. You're not going back there...ever. I don't give a damn if she's your mother; she has put you through hell, and for what? Some asshole who abused you both? I would never forgive myself for putting you back in that situation. You are my daughter, and it is my duty to protect you. You're mother has failed miserably, but I will try everything I cannot to let you down baby girl," Ray said.

"Thanks dad. I can't go back anyway. I need to focus on my own recovery as it is. Mom can't rely on me anymore. And now that she's asking for Steven...that's what hurts the most. After he hurt me so badly, she wants to see him. Why? He scarred me for life. Every time I look at my arms, I see him. I feel the knife, the burning cigarettes...everything. He was escalating...the final straw is when he tried to rape me," I sobbed.

"Annie...baby, why didn't you tell me?" Ray asked. Tears were starting to form in his tired eyes.

"I didn't want it to be real. I could live with the scars, but I didn't want to think of what else he could have done. The moment it happened is when I ran away and called you. He was torturing me, and then he tried to unbutton my pants and force his hand inside. I fought and thanks to all the self-defense moves you taught me dad, I was able to subdue him long enough to escape," I explained. My voice was detached. I never told Ray about what Steven had almost done because saying those words out loud would have given unwanted life into the my deepest secret. I tried to keep this secret, but in reality...this secret was keeping me, tearing me apart from the inside out.

I told Christian that Steven tried forcing himself on me, and that was hard enough. I just could not shoulder the weight of that confession any longer. I just didn't want to my dad to know because I had put him through enough with all of this.

"I will bury him. Oh Annie, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I wasn't there. I'm sorry your mother did nothing to stop it. I will never let anything happen to you again," Ray said as he embraced me. I clung to my dad for dear life.

"It wasn't your fault dad. It was his...he did this. I'm okay now. I have you and Christian, and that's all I need. I'm tired now. Can I sleep for a while?" I asked. The past few hours have finally caught up with me, and I wanted nothing more to sleep at this moment.

"We will talk more tomorrow Annie. I'm going to get some coffee. Want anything, Christian?" Ray asked.

"No thank you, sir," Christian said. Through the entire conversation, he has been quiet.

"Call me Ray. I'm no old enough for 'sir' yet. Sleep tight, Annie Bug. Love you sweetheart," Ray said as he kissed my forehead.

"Love you too, daddy," I said with a big yawn. With that, he went to track down a vending machine or go to the cafeteria.

Christian was a silent support during the conversation. He grabbed my hand and held it tightly. "Sleep well baby. I'm going to doze in the chair so I will be here in the morning."

"Oh Christian, there are so many things I want to say right now—" I started to say, but I was silenced with a tender kiss from Christian.

"We will talk tomorrow baby. Sleep, okay? We will get our answers tomorrow. I love you Ana," he said with a final kiss.

I felt my eyelids begin to droop and I was surrounded by a sleepy haze. "I love you too," was all I managed to get out before I drifted away into my dreams.


	16. Chapter 16: Tearing Me Asunder

-**Disclaimer**- I don't own any part of the Fifty Shades Trilogy. The rightful owner is the amazing E.L. James. No copyright infringement is intended.

-**A/N**- Thanks for the amazing response! I just can't get over the fact that I have such a following! Just so you know, every time I get a review, I do a little dance! If I'm in public, I only dance in my head! If I'm at home, I bust out in a jig. It's truly a sight to see! You all make my day so much better! Just to answer a few questions from the reviews I got: For the purpose of my story, Ray lives in Seattle. When Ana goes to live with Ray, she will still go to the same school district, and nothing will change with her and Christian! Well, maybe with the exception that Ray may a little more overprotective of our Ana! This chapter is really long, but I've been inspired to write. I'll try to update soon as I can. Enjoy the chapter, and please review (pretty please with a CG-flavored cherry on top)! Much love all! Did I mention I like reviews? Oh well, happy reading!

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Chapter 16: Tearing Me Asunder

-Ana POV-

The morning had come quicker than I realized. I blinked rapidly in the early morning light that was streaming through my window. It was early Sunday, and I looked around my room. All the events from last night came rushing in. _How the hell am I supposed to process all this shit? _I sighed heavily. My mom was in the psych ward for attempted suicide. I couldn't believe it. Why would my mom try to kill herself? After I woke up last night, I just wanted answers. Now, I wasn't so sure I could handle those answers.

My mother was supposed to be the one who protected me, yet she was the one causing the danger this time. What would have happened if she died? What would have become of me? I didn't want to think of the possibility of that occurring. As much as I still harbored anger toward her for not protecting me from Steven, she was my mother. She was the person who brought me into this world. She was supposed to guide me through life, yet she abandoned me when I needed her the most.

I was suddenly sick to my stomach. My mother almost died…by her own hand. Why would she want to leave me alone? Why couldn't I be enough? I was her daughter, and yet I wasn't enough for her to stay alive. I remember Christian's words: _"Of course you're worth living for Ana. You're worth it for me. I love you, and you're the center of my world now Ana. My day begins with thoughts of you, and it sets with visions of you dancing in my head. You've made my life so much better, Ana. I was on a path set in self-destruction, but you rescued me. You make my life worth living. Don't worry about anyone else. I know she's your mother, but she has her own shit to sort out. If you ever feel worthless, please just remember how much I love you and how much you're worth to me. Please baby, remember that."_

How could I have gotten so lucky to snag a guy like Christian? Without him, this reality would be a bleak canvas full of harrowing loneliness. I loved him so much that it almost hurt. He consumed me in every way possible; I was writhing in the flames of Christian Grey. My dear, sweet boy was filled with the purest light, and he was encompassing me completely. No matter what fate intervened with, I would always have him. In my darkest time, this thought was the light that illuminated the recesses of my battered soul.

I took a deep breath, and tried to calm my shaking stomach. Ray was starting to stir, and I saw Christian was still asleep. I needed to save my strength for the confrontation with my mother.

"Good morning baby girl," Ray said. He sat up and gently kissed my cheek.

"Hi dad. Thanks for staying with me," I said.

"Oh Annie, there's no place I'd rather be. You're my daughter, and I love you," Ray said. His honesty was choking me up, filling me with pure happiness. He was the parent that would always be there for me. I loved him so.

"I love you too, dad. Ugh. Can I get out of here yet? I want to sleep in my own bed," I asked.

"Let me find a doctor. We'll get you out of here soon," Ray said as he got up. When he walked out, Christian began to wake up.

"Hey you," I said.

"Hey yourself," Christian mumbled with sleep still etching his voice.

"Thank you for staying, babe. I love you," I said. I wiggled my way down to him and held his face in my hands. I looked him square in the eye, and kissed him. If he could only see himself through my eyes…then maybe he'd know just how much he meant to me. I couldn't have done any of this without him.

"God, I love you too, Ana. I wish you didn't have to go through this, but I'm here," he said as he kissed me back. He released my lips just as my dad and the doctor came in.

"Well Miss Steele, let me check your vitals, and then we will go from there," the doctor said. His name was Dr. Mason, and he was in his late forties. He seemed nice enough, but I was still unnerved because I was in the hospital. He did a quick check of blood pressure, looked at the machines, and checked my heartbeat with his stethoscope. "All is well. You can be discharged and take home immediately. Just make sure to get plenty of rest. If you start feeling really lightheaded, just come back."

"Thank you so much, Dr. Mason!" I exclaimed joyously. I couldn't wait to get home. And by home, I meant with Ray. I was going straight to his house for some breakfast and a nap. I had to rest up for my conversation with my mother. I planned on stopping my mother's house to pack up my belongings at some point during the day. Thankfully she and Bob bought a house close to Ray's. I would stay in the same school district, and I would be just as close to Christian.

"No problem. Have a good day everyone. Take care," Dr. Mason said with a small wave.

"Alright, I'm going to get your paperwork, and we'll be out of here!" Ray said.

"Thank God! I want to go to your house, eat breakfast, and get some sleep. I am so tired from sleeping in this uncomfortably bed!" I said.

"Our house, Annie. We will get your stuff from your mother's later today or tomorrow," he said.

He walked out to go get my discharge paperwork. Christian was looking at me with wary eyes.

"What is it?" I asked him.

"You could stay with me if you want," he said quietly.

"Oh Christian, I would love too. But I need to stay with Ray. I don't think your mom would like you to have a live-in girlfriend," I said.

"I don't think she'd mind. We have plenty of guest bedrooms, and she'd love to have another girl in the house," he said.

"Baby, I appreciate the offer. I really do…but I can't leave Ray alone. We'll still see each other all the time. Ray goes fishing a lot, so it wouldn't be anything to sneak you in," I said seductively. Even in these troubling times, but need for Christian knows no bounds.

"Alright. You're right. I just don't want to leave your side. I want to protect you, Ana," Christian said. He kissed me again.

"You will, Christian. You have…I don't know where I would be without you. I love you so much. Thank you for being here with me. You are the most precious thing to me. I love you more than life itself. You are my saving grace, Christian Grey," I said as I kissed him back.

"I love you more, Ana. You're just so much…more. You're the only light in my life. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I will always be here," he said.

Before we could deepen our kiss, Ray walked in with my papers. "Get dressed kiddo. We're heading home."

* * *

I needed to do this alone. I needed answers, and she was going to give them to me.

_"Ana, let me come with you. I don't want you alone. Your mother mentioned Steven. If he comes anywhere near you, I am fileting his ass," Christian said._

_ "I have to do this on my own. I will call you when I'm done. I need answers, and I think she'll only give them to me. I can't have you or Ray there. I need to face her. This confrontation has been brewing for over a year since she let Steven torment me," I said._

_ "I don't like this," Christian said, pouting. _

_ I kissed his nose. His pouting was so adorable, and I loved him so. "I will call you the minute I get out, and we can get dinner. I don't think I can do the family dinner. I just want to see you. I can't handle family right now. Just you and Ray."_

_ "I already told my mom. She knows. We'll reschedule it. Just promise me that if it gets too much that you'll leave. I don't want you dealing with any more stress," Christian said._

_ "I will. I'll call you as soon as I am done," I said._

_ "You better. Love you so much, baby," Christian said as he kissed me again._

_ "Love you too." I said. I got in Wanda and drove to the hospital. _

I went to the second floor where the psychiatric ward was. I entered through the steel doors. The nurses in the unit seemed weathered, almost bitter at their placement here. I signed in to visit my mother, and they took my purse and cell phone. I was not allowed to have anything on me that could possibly be converted into a weapon. I sat down in the waiting room. I was surrounded by clinical colors of white and grey, and the threadbare couch and rickety chairs were set up randomly around the room. The tension in the room was nearly palpable. There were a few other visitors, but I tried not to pay them too much attention. Finally, my mother trudged into the room. She looked like something that emerged from the deepest gutter. Her hair was limp, sodden with dirt and grime. Her eyes were glassy, and it looked like she had been crying. She had on a mismatched sweat suit that was two sizes too big. I was very nervous at our reunion. Her appearance shocked me because she had only been in here since last night.

"Hi mom," I said softly. She was silent as she sat down. I hugged her tightly, and she was still motionless. Her eyes were hollow, and it seemed like this woman was just a shell of her former self.

"Mom, we need to talk," I said. Silence was once again my response.

She looked at me with a blank gaze, and I decided to try again.

"I need to know why you did it, mom. And why would you ask for Steven? Why the fuck would you even mention his name?" I said lowly. My voice had a dangerous edge to it. My sympathy for my mother's situation was surely waning, and at this moment…I felt the betrayal I felt rear its ugly head. The betrayal was festering with my rage, and it was slowly stirring in my soul. I was trying to hold my sanity together and be calm and rational, but the anger that was quelled in the last year was about to be unleashed. My mother's response was nonexistent. I continued on, trying to make sense of this horrible situation. "Why would you try to kill yourself mom? Am I not worth living for? What would have happened to me if you killed yourself?"

"You're not Steven. He's all I need to live for. I need him, Ana. He's my whole world. You're just a leech who siphoned my time with him. He loves me, and I need him. You don't make me happy. You don't make me complete. Only Steven can do that for me. He's the reason I was put on this earth. I was made to love him. I tried to end it all because I couldn't have my Steven," my mother said simply.

Her words were a knife cutting deeply into my soul. I felt like I could just expire at her words; my own mother was telling me that I was worth practically nothing to her. In her words, she was confessing that the no-good abusive asshole was worth more than me. My heart sank deep into the abyss in my soul. This was a farce…it had to be some cruel joke played by the fates. There is no way that these words are spilling from my mother's lips. It had to be the medication. It had to be something, but my God if those words didn't make me want to die. I took a deep shuddering breath, and the anger and rage that filled my core was replaced with the most anguished pain I could have ever imagined.

My mother's words cut me deeper than any of the wounds inflicted by Steven's blade. My soul was bleeding, and there was nothing I could do to stop the emotional bleed. I was losing every part of my mother that was ever good. In these short moments, she was becoming a ghost. A cruel apparition that existed to beseech me of all the fortune I had recently gained back. My mother was a punishing mistress set on tearing me apart from the inside out. The pain I felt was nearly unreal. All the painful memories I had been repressing over the last year came rushing over me. I felt dizzy under the weight of the encumbrance, and I couldn't breathe. _Oh God, why? Please make her stop. Please say this isn't true. I'm worth something to Christian. Just remember that. Please just remember that. _

"I was all alone, Anastasia. No one to love me. There was a void where my heart was. That was until Steven came into our lives. He was what was missing. He was the greatest love of my life. And you had to ruin that," my mother said.

I felt like the world had stopped spinning. The floor was ripped right out from under me, and I nearly fell out of my seat. "What…what are you talking about?"

"He didn't want me after you left. It's your fault Steven left me," my mother said.

"But you left Steven! You married Bob. Bob saved you, didn't he?" I asked frantically. I was in a whirlwind right now. I could not believe this was actually happening. What was my mother saying?

"Steven left me after you. He wouldn't touch me. All he wanted was us to be a happy family, but you were so selfish, and you ruined it. You couldn't stay. He wanted to be your father," my mother said.

I felt the hot tears rush down my face, and I was struggling to keep my anger in check. "He tortured me, mother. Don't you remember? Don't you remember when he gave me these? When he was fucking carving me like a fish? What do you call that? And what do you call it when he tried to force himself on me? He nearly stole EVERYTHING from me, and I'm selfish because I left? Don't you care about what he did to me? What he did to you? How could you, mom? How could you sit there when I was screaming and begging and pleading for help? You just sat there. You did nothing to stop him. And then you let him beat you. What kind of mother does that? Then you accuse me of being selfish and breaking apart your 'happy' family. What kind of sick and deluded fantasy world are you living in?" I screamed at her. I pushed up my sleeves and showed her the scars again. She needed to see them. My mother needed to see the livid marks that saturated my arms. She needed to see exactly what he did to me. She was in denial for so long and now she'd gone completely insane.

"You wanted him to do that. Just like I wanted him to hit me. That's how he showed us his love, Ana. Don't you realize that?" My mother asked me.

"No. He hit you and tortured me because he was a sick bastard with a god complex. He was a sadist, mother. And he preyed on our pain. He wanted to make us suffer because he was fucked in the head. That wasn't love," I said disgustedly.

"It was, Anastasia. Once you left, so did he. Steven didn't think we were complete without you. I tried offering him everything, but he wanted both of us. Oh, Ana. Why did you leave? Steven left me, and I was all alone. Bob came along after Steven abandoned me, but he could never do for me what Steven did. He was the best lover, and he made me feel like a woman. Bob was just a lump of a man. That's why I kicked him out. Plus Steven is coming back. We'll be a family again," my mother said. Her eyes were focusing on something in the distance, and she sounded so sure of her convictions.

I thought her earlier words were her worst. Oh was I wrong…I was so wrong. She didn't leave Steven? She kicked Bob out? Steven was coming back? I was going to be sick. My stomach lurched, and I ran to the nearest trash can and dry heaved. Nothing came out, but I still felt horrible.

"You didn't leave Steven? Why? After what he did to us?" I asked between sobbing breaths. The tears were coming again, and I couldn't stop them. I was sitting on the floor as my mind was in a tailspin. She lied to me; my mother said that she left Steven after she met Bob. She was a liar.

"He left me. I was homeless, and Bob found me. He took care of me for a while, and I thought I was happy. That was until I got a letter from Steven. Oh Ana, after all this time, he's coming back for us. He still loves us and wants to be a family. Once I got that letter from him, I knew Bob had to go. So I told him yesterday that I was still in love with Steven. I told him I wanted a divorce, and you and I were moving back to be with Steven. He loves us, Ana. He wants us back. But he said he'd only take me back if you came. And I knew you were a selfish bitch. You would never allow me to be happy. You would never let me go back to Steven. You have to come with me now so we can live as a happy family. He said things will be different. But I knew you wouldn't do that for me because you are just so selfish, Anastasia. You left because 'he hurt you.' Well, sometimes love hurts. So I knew I wouldn't get him back, so I tried to end it all. But now I know you're here, and that you'll come back with me. I can't wait to see him. Steven will be so happy to have his daughter back!" My mother exclaimed joyously. She went from catatonic, to angry at me, to elated in the span of her admission.

"Fuck you. How the hell could you even ask me that after what he did to me? Ray is my dad. Steven is a piece of shit from the deepest abscess of hell. He will burn for what he did to me. If dad doesn't kill him, then wait till Christian gets his hand on him. You make me sick. You're supposed to protect me from harm, yet you're trying to throw me in the lion's den draped in a dressing of meat. You're really psychotic. I was so upset, thinking that last night had something to do with me.

"I was always walking on eggshells around you, trying not to mention Steven because I didn't want to hurt you. But you are certifiable…you really are. How could even say these words to be? It was my 'fault' that you tried to kill yourself? I'm done. I'm done blaming myself for your mistakes. I can't do this anymore. I've lived in hell for the past year because of you. You met that bastard; you stayed when he hit you. Then you stayed when he started abusing me…started torturing me. He carved me up, took his time cutting and burning…burning and cutting. He hurt me…scarred me for life.

"I have to bear these fucking scars for the rest of my life. And all you care about is getting back some abusive asshole that gets his kicks torturing little girls. You stole my childhood. You ruined my life. But you won't have another second of my time. I'm done. From this point on, you're dead to me. Ray is the only parent I'll ever need. I hope they lock you up and throw away the key," I snarled at her. My heart was pounding in my chest. I was so outraged; my anger burned like the hellfire in my veins. I was in deep agony because my own mother…the woman who gave me life…had all but abandoned me. She was a shell of her former self. My bright, vibrant mother was now a husk of a woman. She was gone.

I cried tears of loss at my childhood. What was supposed to be the happiest years of my life filled with homecomings, boyfriends, proms, girls' nights, parties, and other teenager stuff was instead replaced with torture, pain, petrified marring of my skin, permanent emotional scars that will never fade, and a loss of trust in the world. My mother was a key player in the transformation of Anastasia Rose Steele. But I was done being the broken girl with the burden to bear.

Christian showed me that I was worth something. I was resilient beyond measure, and with my beautiful boy's help, I won't fade into oblivion. I will stand strong. I was the victor in my triumphs. I have traveled a road paved with hell, hate, rage, and revenge, but now I needed to let it go. I would never forgive my mother or Steven, but I needed to move on. I could do that with Christian's help. I loved that boy so much that words seemed trivial. The depth of my love for him was endless, and his love had undone the binds that kept me bound to my identity as "victim." I was a survivor, and I was sure as hell going to start doing more than just surviving. I was going to thrive with Christian, and we would build a life together. We may be young, but he is the only man I will ever love. I left the psychiatric ward behind, and I vowed to never come back here. I didn't know how long my mother would be locked up, but I hoped it was for the rest of her life. I didn't want any part of her. I couldn't see myself ever forgiving her. I was like the phoenix rising from the flame; I was going to scatter the ashes to the wind and spread my wings and fly high above the hell below me. Christian was the sun in my new world, and I would be Icarus…drawn to the benevolent beauty of the sun's rays.


	17. Chapter 17: In the Morning

-**Disclaimer**- I don't own any part of the Fifty Shades Trilogy. The rightful owner is, of course, the fantastic E.L. James. Thanks to her, I can fan-girl for a while in my own fantasy universe with her wonderful characters. No copyright infringement is intended.

-**A/N**- Thank you to all my wonderful readers! I hope you're enjoying the story thus far! It's taken turns even I didn't know it would! It has been an amazing journey, and I'm so glad you all are here with me! I love reading every review and PM, getting the notification for follows and favorites, and knowing that my story has had such an overwhelming response! I'm not sure where this story will end. I'm kind of going with the flow on this one! And once it's over, there is a sequel in the works already! I may take a break between them to work on another story that's been brewing in my mind, but I'm not sure yet. So thanks again, I love you all. Remember, reviews are greatly appreciated! Much love and happy reading! Also, a little bit of a lemon is ahead!

-**P.S. A/N**- I took my puppy shopping to Petsmart yesterday, and guess what I found? I FOUND FSoG THEMED PET SHIRTS! I kid you not! They literally had dog shirts that said "Laters, Baby." I ALMOST FELL OVER! I was so excited, and I was with my boyfriend, and he did not get my excitement. He looked at me like I was a nutcase as I pranced up and down the aisles clutching the shirt like it was the Holy Grail! My dog, Lexy, has spent countless nights with me as I read the Fifty Shades trilogy, so she is a fan by association! I HAD to buy her that shirt! It can be seen as the "avatar" on my bio page! Not only do you get to see my beautiful puppy (she's the cutest thing in the world!), you get to see the ravishing fashionista that is my dog strutting her stuff! I had to share that with my Fifty Shades fans! I knew if anyone would appreciate it, you all would!

-**P.S.S. A/N**- Sorry for the long author's notes, but I had a private message asking where I get my chapter titles from. They either song titles (several of them come Snow Patrol…a band Ana and I both enjoy immensely), or they are pieces of lyrics from songs. I am a music fiend! If anyone would like a complete list of songs I use for inspiration, let me know! I may include it in the next chapter? Also, I'm curious…it's been said that FSoG movie is hitting theaters next August. Who do you all see as playing Christian and Ana? I for one am all Team Ian Somerhalder for our favorite control freak (he is a yummy piece of man meat!). I am not sure about Ana though….sometimes I see Mila Kunis as being perfect for the role, but other times I like Alexis Bledel. I just don't know! Leave your thoughts on who should play Christian and Ana (and any other characters as well) in a review or PM! Thanks again!

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**Chapter 17: In the Morning, I'll be with You**

-**Christian POV**-

I was anxiously watching my sweet Anastasia sleeping. Her slumber was all but silent; she was in a fitful rage. Nightmares were plaguing her, and of this I was so sure. My own nightmares surfaced in memory, and I felt the grip of anguish on my hardened heart. I had them for so long that I thought they would eventually diminish in their capacity to completely consume me. I was wrong. I was so fucking wrong. Every time I had a fucking nightmare, it felt like the first time all over again. I was back with the crack whore and her pimp. _Fuck, not now Grey. Don't fucking go back there! _I sighed heavily; I was unsure of what to do with Ana. She was trashing in her sleep, and I knew I should wake her up, but she had just fallen asleep after crying the entire night.

I was sitting in her bedroom at Ray's house with her. I couldn't leave her, not after the confrontation with her psycho-as-shit mother. What the fuck happened to make Carla want to get back with Steven? I was so fucking pissed when Ana told Ray and me what happened at the psyche ward. It took all I had to not go and fuck something or somebody up. My body was feeling the familiar burn of being out of control. My anger was threatening to consume my entire being. When I would feel this way previously, I would brawl and pummel my way through the male species at school. FUCKING HELL! I couldn't deal with this anger right now. Ana needed me, but here I was seconds from losing precious control. _Calm the FUCK down, Grey. Don't fuck this up! _

I took a gasping breath as I tried to quell my raging soul. I was livid beyond anything I have felt in a long time. I wanted to take this frustration by striking something, but I knew I couldn't. I refused to go back there. I was a changed man, and that was thanks to Ana. I couldn't be that man…the brawler…again. I was the kid that fucked everyone up. I had no friends, no purpose, and no direction. I lived for the contact that fighting allowed me to have. Now, I have my sweet girl, and my need to brawl my way for contact was over. I reached over and ran my hand down her arm. I felt her shudder under my touch, and she seemed soothed for the moment. Her nightmare either subsided, or it was going to get worse. I needed a minute to go outside and breathe. As much as I loved Ana, I could not allow the rage rearing through my body to spill out.

I was feeling so out of control, and I knew this situation was one that could not warrant my control. Ana's mother was fucking crazy, and I was sure of one thing—if I came across Ana's mother, Carla, or that mother fucking spineless asshole, Steven, I would fucking snap. I wanted to do nothing but beat the fucking hell out of Steven; I wanted to carve him up like a fucking Thanksgiving turkey. Give him back a piece of the hell he inflicted on Ana. I ran my hands through my hair as I gently crept from Ana's room. As soon as I hit the steps, I flew out the front door. I took deep, gasping breaths of air. I could feel my tenuous grasp on my precious control slipping, and the feeling consumed my entire being. I snarled like a caged animal as I unleashed my pent up fury on a nearby tree. I felt the satisfying pain gnaw at my hands as I hit the tree over and over again.

The tears started to flow down my face, and I started sobbing uncontrollably. My precious Ana was in this fucked up situation, and I couldn't do a damn thing to make it better. I wanted nothing more than to the memory of Carla and Steven out of Ana's memory. My hands throbbed, and the splash of tears did nothing to soothe that ache. I looked down at my bloodied fists, and I felt a wave of shame wash over me. I was supposed to be better than this…I was supposed to have _control _not to do this anymore. But here I am instead, separated from Ana, battering a stupid tree. I was sitting against the tree when I saw Ray come outside.

"Christian, what's going on? Are you okay?" Ray asked. He was looking at me as I was a crumpled mess nursing my bleeding hands. I felt like a fucking idiot crying outside late at night.

"I don't fucking know. I can't help Ana. I don't know what to fucking do," I sobbed into my hands. I tasted the metallic tang of my blood, but I didn't care.

Ray sighed heavily, and sat down next to me. "Christian, you're doing all you can. This is a horrible situation, and the only thing we can do is be here for Annie. Carla is well…she's sick. She lived in that toxic environment with that monster, and the physical and emotional abuse she went through broke her. My Annie is a resilient young woman. That bastard's rage was turned on Annie most of the time, and he hurt her worse than anyone could have imagined. He scarred my baby girl, and I wasn't able to stop him. I have been wracked with this insatiable guilt ever since she came back to me. And then I had her move back in with her mother because I thought it would help Carla get over this. I was so wrong, and I put Annie in the crossfire. I will not make that mistake again. And if that bitch thinks Steven will get anywhere near her, I'll put a bullet through both of them."

I took a deep, shuddering breath. His words were a sort of balm for me, and I found some relief in the fact that he was in a similar place as I was. I also knew Ray was ex-military, and the threat of the bullet was not to be taken lightly. "I just don't want her to go through this. I want to make this all go away."

"I know, son. But Ana has something she didn't have last time. She has me. And she has a great young man who really cares about her. You were the first person she showed her scars to. You were the first person she willingly told without being forced by a doctor or therapist. She has changed so much in the last few weeks, Christian. That change was because of you. She was so excited about life…excited to have a boyfriend…excited to be 'normal' again. My Annie has been through a hell most of us can't imagine, and to see her begin to move on…to live again instead of just going through the motions…that's been the best gift I could have been given. You're a great thing for her, young man," Ray told me.

"She's been the same for me, sir. I did nothing but fight. I was a bad kid with a chip on my shoulder. I wasn't 'normal' either. I had a rough start to life, and I'm still dealing with that. Anastasia has been my saving grace, and I would never have been able to overcome the things I have without her," I said. My chest swelled with the emotion I felt for Ana. And now Ray and I were coming to this understanding.

"Enough with the 'sir' stuff. Call me Ray. I'm sure I'll be seeing you around enough," Ray said with a crooked grin.

"Alright Ray," I said, returning his smile.

"Let's get you inside and get your hands cleaned up," Ray said. I nodded, and we walked in the house. He turned on the cold water in the kitchen sink, and I placed my hands under the water. The harsh ache was mollified by the water. Ray grabbed a first aid kit from a cupboard.

"This is going to hurt a bit, kid. I have to get the splinters out, and make sure nothing is broken. Then we are going to clean it out so you don't get an infection," Ray said. He picked up my right hand and assessed the damaged. "You packed quite a punch there, Christian. That tree must be shaking in its roots," he said with a small laugh. He took a pair of tweezers and pulled out some of the splinters. I winced in pain, but I didn't say anything. I was the idiot who punched a fucking tree. After the splinters were out, Ray poured some alcohol over my hands.

"Fuck!" I yelped as I grabbed my hands. The burn was intense, but it waned after a few moments.

"All cleaned up. Let's get your hands bandaged out so it doesn't bleed all over my house," Ray said as he took the pristine gauze out of the kit. He quickly and efficiently wrapped my hands, and then secured it with medical tape.

"You're good at this," I said.

"Well, years of battle wound cleanup and scraped knees when Annie was little will train you," he said.

"Thanks. I better get going soon. It's getting late," I murmured. I dreaded leaving Ana, but I didn't think Ray would let me stay.

"Nonsense. You can stay here. It'll be good for Annie. You're always welcome here, Christian. On the couch though…you're welcome on the couch," Ray said.

"Thanks, Ray. I didn't want to leave Ana," I said. I flexed my fingers in their dressing, and the soreness was still biting. The gauze was starting to turn red, but I didn't want to bother with it.

"Alright, I'm heading the bed. I'm going to talk to Carla in the morning. I need answers, and I plan on getting them. There is an extra blanket in Annie's closet, and I will put a pillow on the couch for you. Goodnight," Ray said. He put his hand on my shoulder and gave a gentle squeeze.

"Thanks again. Goodnight," I said.

I walked up to Ana's room, and she was in a peaceful sleep. I kissed her gently on the lips. She tasted like angels ought to taste, and smelled like summer rain. And she was all mine. She was moaning in her sleep, and I tucked the blanket around her tighter. I grabbed the extra blanket from her closet, and smiled at my sleeping beauty before I went downstairs. True to his word, Ray left a pillow for me on the couch.

Shit! I forgot to tell my mom where I was. I'm sure she could infer I was staying at Ana's, but I had to send her a quick text just to let her know I wasn't coming home.

***Sorry, mom. I'm staying at Ana's. She had a rough time with her mother. I'll tell you about it tomorrow…It's a conversation best had in person. Don't worry—I'm staying ON THE COUCH. Goodnight.***

I finally collapsed on the couch, and the weariness from the day was settling in. My soul felt heavy, and the tension that was tightening my entire being was finally releasing its bitter grip on me. I was closing my eyes, and all I wanted was visions of my beautiful Ana dancing across my dreams. I felt the world closing in on me, and the blackness took over as I fell into a deep sleep.

* * *

I woke up to the sound of cooking sizzling in the air. The smell of eggs and bacon beckoned me from my sleep. I rubbed the slumber from my eyes, and saw Ana cooking in the kitchen. For sleeping on the couch, I had a particularly restful night. I stretched my tired arms, and then I felt the familiar ache in my hands. The bandages were crumpled and peeling from my night rolling around on the couch. It was Monday, and thank God Ray let Ana stay home from school. I don't think she could have handled the fucking assholes at Seattle High, and I sure as hell wasn't leaving her side.

"Good morning, baby," I said as I walked over to Ana. She smiled up at me, and I kissed her luscious lips. I just wanted to keep tasting her, but she giggled that angelic jingle and pulled away.

"Christian," she admonished. "I'll burn breakfast if you keep distracting me."

"Fine," I conceded. I looked around and noticed another person missing from this scene…a person who would probably not be so keen on me making out with his precious little girl. "Where's Ray?"

Her entire body tensed up, and the grip she had on the spatula looked like she would snap it in a billion pieces. "He went to visit _her_," she spit out. I knew from that tone, she was talking about Ray's confrontation with bat-shit-crazy Carla.

"He wants answers, Ana," I said. I put my hands on her shoulders to hopefully ease some of the tension, and she saw the bandages wrapping my battle wounds from my war with the tree.

"Christian! What happened?" She shrieked. Ana grabbed my hands with so much tenderness and care that I thought my heart would burst at the seams. She peppered healing kisses over my knuckles, and moved to caress my fingers.

"I lost control. I was so overwhelmed with what your fucking psycho mother told you that I had to take my frustration out on something. When I felt like this before, I would usually pummel some unlucky bastard to a pulp, but I couldn't do that. I thought I was changed, but I guess I was wrong," I said. I hung my head in shame, and I felt the guilt from this betrayal weigh heavily on my battered soul. _I'm a worthless bastard…I can't even control my temper! I fucking hate this! I am a no good—_

I didn't have time to finish my self-loathing thoughts before Ana wrapped me in a crushing hug. For her petite frame, my girl was certainly stronger than she looked. "Oh Christian, don't say that! I am not expecting you to change at all! I love you…just the way you are. I would prefer that you not fight anymore because I don't want you to get hurt, but I love you. Don't forget that, okay? I know this is all out of control. I don't know what to do, and without Ray and you by my side, I would surely sink into some deep abyss."

I reach behind her and turn off the stove. I crushed Ana's lip in a searing kiss as I picked her up. There were no words that were needed, except five small words I let out in a garbled breath. "I love you so much." I lifted her up easily as I stumbled to the couch.

Ana's eyes were heating up, and I knew that look. I had become quite acquainted with it in the last few days. _She wants you, Grey. _I grabbed her by her hips as she straddled me. Her breath hitched as she felt my arousal rubbing against her. I threw my head back in pleasure, and she captured my lips in a heated kiss.

"Oh Christian, I need to feel you," Ana breathed out in a lush whisper. She kissed me harder, and her tongue was begging for entrance. We were battling for control, and I was only too happy to relinquish it. Ana broke the kiss to gasp for air, and she quickly moved to unbutton my jeans.

"Ana, are you sure baby? I want you…but you've had a hell of a weekend," I moaned out as I felt her delicate hand grab ahold of me.

"Shut up Christian. I need this. I need you," she said as she made short work of my pants. She yanked them down over my feet. I felt my erection grow even harder at her urgency. She pulled down my boxers just low enough to free my cock. "This is what I need," Ana said with a salacious smirk as she took me in her mouth.

_Holy fucking hell! _I nearly came as she looked me dead in the eye with my cock bobbing in and out of her beautiful, hot, fucking smart mouth. You would never know this was only the second time this beautiful bombshell had done this. I threw my head back in pure ecstasy…my blood was boiling with the heat of her mouth. She took me deeper in her mouth, and I felt the tip of my cock hit the back of her throat. She gagged a bit at the intrusion, but kept going like a fucking trooper. _I have fucking died and gone to fucking heaven. _

"Fucking Christ, Ana. That's good baby…so fucking good," I moaned as I threaded my hands through her hair. I thrust my hips in time with her sucking, and I knew I was close. She released my cock from her hot, wet mouth and quickly squeezed her hand around me.

"Sorry, mouth was starting to hurt," she whispered as she laid her head on my lap. Her beautiful blue eyes were watching her delicate hand as it stroked me up and down. At this point, I was almost too far gone to care if it was her mouth or her hand.

"Harder, Ana. So fucking close, baby," I managed to spit out through ground teeth. My hand was gripping her hair in a vice-like death grip, but the white, hot pleasure shooting through my body was limiting my motions. I felt my balls seize up, and I knew I was going to come. My legs were starting to lock from the tension, and I was going to come soon.

"Arrghh! FUCKKKKKK, ANA! I'M COMING!" I said in a loud screech. Ana's head shot up just in time to miss most of the mess, but I came all over her hand. Fuck me! I would never tire of coming at her hand…or mouth. She was a fucking goddess, and she was all mine.

"I'll be back," Ana said with a gentle smile. I gargled a response at her because I was still recovering from my orgasm. She came back with a towel and helped clean me up. I pulled up my boxer briefs, and she handed me my pants. She was trying to head back in the kitchen, but I grabbed her hand.

"Not so fast Ana. My God! You can't make me come like that without me getting to play with you in return," I whispered seductively in her ear. I felt her shiver in anticipation. I pulled her in my lap, and unbuttoned her jeans. Before she could protest, I slithered my hands in her pants and under her panties. Fuck, she was already dripping for me. _Always ready for me, Ana. God, I fucking love you!_

"Christian, oh," Ana moaned as I slipped my middle finger through her velvet folds. I knew I was fumbling, but fuck, I didn't care. I would be an expert on Ana's body soon, and I felt that there would be lots of practice in my future. I kissed the back of her neck and lightly nipped my way to her ear.

"Ana, I want to please you. If I need to do something else to make you scream, just tell me," I whispered in her ear as I licked the outer shell. I slipped my middle finger in her tight entrance and found her clit with my thumb. I knew I was doing something right when she arched her back and grabbed my hand.

"Right there, Christian. Just like that," she crooned her pleasure. I added another finger and put more pressure on her clit. I felt her nails dig into my arm and she warned me that I was applying too much pressure. I let up and slowly traced a delicious, wet, hot path around her clit and continued fucking her with my fingers. I was hard as a rock again, and I knew my erection was digging into her ass.

"Baby, oohhh! Yes!" Ana moaned. I felt her back arch to a nearly impossible angle and I felt her glorious juices drench my fingers even more. I heard her breathing hitch as she keened a loud, piercing moan and clenched deliciously around my fingers. She buckled from the exhaustion of her orgasm and I was on cloud nine. I loved the feeling of Ana's hot body clenching around my fingers as I got her off. I was the only one who had ever touched her like that, and I felt my ego swell twenty sizes bigger.

As we were in our own bubble, we both failed to realize the shrill smoke alarm was going off and grey fog was smothering the kitchen. "OH NO!" Ana yelled as she bolted off my lap. She rushed into the kitchen to the stove.

Realization washed over me as I immediately recognized that I didn't turn off the blasted stove. I had turned down the knob for the bacon, but not the eggs. I felt like a fucking idiot. I could have caught the house on fire because I was being a fucking horny bastard. _Fuck, Grey! You keep fucking up don't you! _

I was drawn out of my inner monologue as Ana's laughter rang out. She opened a window and turned on the ceiling fan to help the room air out. "That was a wonderful distraction, Mr. Grey. Let me warm up the bacon and make some more eggs. How would you like them?"

"You're not mad?" I asked tentatively. She smiled at me as she crossed the room to give me a gentle kiss.

"Never! I had a great orgasm and got to be intimate with my lovely boyfriend! Burnt eggs are not that bad. But if you had burnt the bacon, my God, that would have been a travesty!" Ana said with a laugh. I could no longer contain my mirth, and we collapsed in giggles together. Christian Grey…giggling! I never thought I would see the day. I scooped up my beloved and kissed her soundly on the mouth.

"Well then. I'd like my eggs scrambled. Make me food, wench!" I said playfully as I gave her a hard slap on her ass.

"Christian!" Ana said trying to sound undignified, but she failed miserably. She smiled again. "Scrambled eggs coming up, baby."

I just looked over at her, and I felt my heart swell again. How did a worthless bastard like me end up with this goddess? She was the light at the end of my tunnel, and I was running frantically to be encompassed in her sunshine. She loved me…I don't see how, but I would forever be indebted to the fates that aligned the stars for us to be together. She was finishing up breakfast, and I was caught in my daydream. I didn't know what the next few days would hold, but I knew I loved her more than anything in this world, and I would be damned if anyone or anything would try to take her from me.

* * *

-**A/N**- Don't forget to review! Reviews make my day so much better! Also, comment on who you would have play CG, Ana, and anyone else from the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy! And make sure to check out my cute model puppy, Lexy, in her fabulous "Laters, Baby" shirt. Thanks for reading! Much love!


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